Listen dude, I see you posting here often and we kinda have the same problems and even age. I give you one advice: you can either take jewpills or keep rotting and contemplate here on the forum how damaging those are for your "life".

You should be old enough to make this decision independent from all these edgy youngcels.
CAN'T GET WORSE ANYWAY. Besides that much is sciolism anyway.
Are you sure?
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If you know what I mean.
I am sure your original problem is (or was) your mental illness. Most stuff or at least not pursuing solutions is a sideffect and fixable once you feel better. Contact lenses, loosing fat. Just acknowledge that this is a brainproblem that needs to be fixed, instead of blaming your lifechoices or something. No decision is made in a vacuum. Would you prefer to ldar the rest of your life?
And get a job in Germany or somewhere, invest your moneys, maybe you can retire early or get job later in your homecountry, once it's more developed.
Is your psychology degree already after bologna, european standard? Bachelor or master? What else do you have? Plenty of pollacks here working in kindergartens and with welfare agencies etc.
Blaming yourself personally (instead of how you're born or the environment) is easy and just feeds into your masochistic vein and LDAR mentality.
Being a loser in a flawed system is nothing to be ashamed of. The firts step on fixing yourself is acknowledging this.