SuicideFuel I wish I was never admitted to drug and alchohol services

[weepingecho2011]

Ever since I quit weed/nic and liquor ive had NO WAY OF GETTING TEMPORARY HAPPINESS. And I can’t go back coz i don’t want my pain to end because I deserve it, I just fucking wish my HS never found out cuz then I wouldn’t have been admitted, I was just smoking when I had a bad day and it was peak cope, I even had music on Spotify at the time and when I was high I made amazing music lyrics and when I was on Nic, I could focus easily and I drank rarely. Im a fucked up young adult now and I’ve always been fucked up, I GENUINELY WANT TO DO NIC AND ALCH AND MAYBE WEED IDK THO NOW I miss the FEELING OF BEING CONFUSED AND I JS WANNA CHILL, WHEN I WAS STONED (RARELY) OR HAVE A NIC BUZZ ID BE HAPPY EVEN WHEN I HAD A BAD DAY AND NOTHING BOTHERED ME, NOW IM A SENSITIVECEL FUCKING LONER, IVE ONLY EVER BEEN KISSED/DATED FOR REVENGE OR AS A JOKE, MY LIFE WAS A MISTAKE I WISH I WAS FUCKING ABORTED I AM A WORTHLESS HUMAN BEING

 

[aryanmikmaq]

I never been on a date or got kissed

 

[Pancakecel]

Why quit weed? If it helps you cope then hop back on it. Drinking, if you can avoid doing it everyday can give some nice temporary relief.

 

[Emba]

I like drugs and alcohol!

 

[Belisar]

Yeah I know the feeling bro. A small cope is to chew chewingum or eat loads of sunflower seeds. That is if you want to stay sober and clean.

If not here is also this african plant called Kanna. The dried leafs get fermented and then processed into powder or other forms. I got it in powder form. You sniff it up your nose like coke or pep. Makes you happy for a while.

But be cautious. It is a serotonin blocker. Which means if you take it too regularly you could fuck up your serotonin levels. And as far as I know that is nothing to joke with.

And also the dosage should be small in the beginning. Only milligrams. And wait for at least an hour before you take more. You dont know how you react to it.

For me the drug has it advantages. It makes me genuinely happy and lift my mood. It also dosent give you "suspicious" eyes like weed or ecstasy. I also have complete control over myself while on it as long as I only take a small amount.

If I take a medium amount it kinda makes me dizzy and a bit sleepy but in a good way. That is something for the weekends. Its also legal here so no trouble with police.