Watching movies and shows like American psycho,death note, nightcrawler etc. And noticing how these characters like Patrick Bateman,light yagami etc all have no empathy whatsoever is quite admirable. Its a trait I wish I could have. Being completely ruthless is something I wish I could have. Like blkpillpress once said how empathy is a weakness in the modern world m I wish I could lack empathy and have a more apathetic cluster b type personality.
I can't think without emotion,ego or empathy. Its been in my thinking for as long as I've been born. But when I look at blkpillpress posts. I admire how he uses logic, straight to the point and lacks ego & empathy when doing things. Ive been trying to adapt to this mentality but I can't. I still have this cuck trait called empathy.
I mean would you stab a 5 yr old boy to death to live your ideal lifestyle?( The best possible lifestyle you possibly imagine for yourself,even changing your looks) Idk if I would have the guts to do it?
You haven't experienced enough trauma. Go back 15 years or so in my life, and I was the nicest, most caring and timid person you'd meet. But every part of myself and my worldviews that I took pride in was stripped away from me, almost systematically. Which has amplified my paranoia over the years and makes me think on some level, that if a God does exist, he is definitely fucking with me.
1. I used to pride myself on my intelligence but then I met someone with photographic memory who beat me in every test while barely trying. That experience showed me how unfair reality is with respect to intelligence and that hard work doesn't really matter. Genetics > Effort. For someone like me to get by, I can't follow the straight and narrow path and I have to be ruthless, or else I will only live in the shadow of those born luckier than me.
When I went to university I saw even more exceptional people, and all of these individuals had social lives, sex lives, etc. That reality just weighed on me more and more, until me being "smart" didn't even matter to me anymore, I know longer saw it as a perk because it didn't really yield anything that I wanted much of in life.
Even today when people compliment me on my intelligence I just shrug it off, it holds no meaning to me anymore.
This thread I made is very much related to this realization:
I've said this before and i'll say it again, intelligence is nothing but a substitute for actual ability, so even from an evolutionary perspective one being high in intelligence is more of an indicator to females that said individual lacks the physical capability to take or attain what they want...
incels.is
2. I used to base my life choices around family and friendships, and over time I realized how useless a "family" really is, and that it's only really a burden. Family causes more problems and debt that anything useful. I had this dream of me and my two best friends spending our lives together, hanging out, starting a company or something. Then out of nowhere one of them killed himself, and his life was way better than mines. He was tall, attractive, also intelligent, came from a well off family, had a girlfriend, a sex life, etc, etc, etc and still killed himself. That was a slap in the face and a wake up call, because what he said was that my friendship wasn't enough to keep going, and indirectly it's like he asked me "why haven't you killed yourself yet?", because again, his life was way better than mines.
If I wasn't already a cynic I probably would have killed myself. But by then I had already began the "transition" into what I am now.
From then I could only look back and laugh at how naive and childish I was. I was in full on blue pilled mode. You can't live your life for anyone's sake but your own, and you can't plan your life around other people, because you can't control them or predict them completely. You have to live your life solely for yourself, and leave a few "seats" open (if you want to) to let others come along for the ride, but you have to be the pilot and your goals and path in life has to be the destination.
3. I used to think I was good looking enough to one day get a date. But years upon years of rejection showed me otherwise. At some point I was attending university and I decided to aim as low as possible, and even then I was still rejected, and that was when I realized (and finally admitted to myself) I had no chance at all, I was completely delusional for all these years. A few years later I lost my virginity to a prostitute, I stopped kidding myself and I accepted my path in life.
I'm not that guy who gets chosen, so I have to be the guy that chooses himself. I have to want for myself and disregard the desires of others. I can't restrict myself based on concepts like "mutual attraction" or anything like that. I am a predator and women are my prey, and I will get what I want from them, by any means necessary.
Of course the most convenient means are the ones I will pursue first, but if I woke up one day and prostitution was illegal across the globe everywhere, and brothels were getting raided left and right. It wouldn't be long before I became a serial rapist.
4. Etc, etc, etc.
There's many examples like this. Every concept I trusted in and depended on in life was completely dismantled (religion being an obvious one), so I had no choice but to accept the truth. This mindset came easy to me, because reality showed me every step of the way that I was wrong.
If you really can't see yourself having this mindset, then your life must be amazing already, and a lot of things that you place your faith in, haven't been proven false YET, and maybe they never will.
It's not that you can't have my mindset. It's that you refuse to "let go", because you are still clinging to certain concepts and faiths. You cling to them because you still see value, power, and worth in them. You will continue to see things this way until they fail, but if they don't you'll always just be what you are now, and you'll never feel any urgency to change.
Simply put, I realized one day that I had to be completely self focused, because the only being on the planet who truly cares for my interests and desires, is me. It's the same for every person on the planet too, they just haven't realized it yet, because they never had their worldview systematically dismantled like mines was.
I am probably one of the most paranoid individuals on the planet as a result of this weird life of mines, and it's all because of how "perfectly" this all happened. It's really eerie when I think about it. How many people can say that every time they told themselves "well at least I have this thing", years later something happened to take away the "faith" and "sense of security" they had in it. Rinse and repeat, until one day they didn't have faith in anything but their own will.
The only thing that can't be taken away from your sense of self, because to lose it means death. Either way I've already accepted my own death and I've contemplated suicide before, so maybe I beat "the system" by giving up on something before I lost it lol. Maybe that's why I'm still alive.
I believe only in myself, because every other belief was proven false and stripped away.
Family doesn't matter.
Friends don't matter.
Romanticism doesn't matter.
ONLY YOU MATTER, AND THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN TRULY DEPEND ON, IS YOU.
I mean would you stab a 5 yr old boy to death to live your ideal lifestyle?( The best possible lifestyle you possibly imagine for yourself,even changing your looks) Idk if I would have the guts to do it?
I would burn down an entire orphanage (assuming there was no such thing as hell lol).
