Family, personal possessions, my favorite media, all of it doesn't matter once I'm a decaying corpse. All the problems I've faced and will have to face will be solved in an instant. A painful life of mistreatment and backstabbing, and yet I'm so much of a fucking failure, I can't even end it. There's barely any enjoyment in this insipid, dull life, and when it isn't another laborious day, only pain will come up to color the dullness. Take the knife, cut the skin, let it bleed. Take the knife, cut the skin, let it bleed. Take the knife, cut the skin, let it bleed. It really is that simple, you fucking dipshit. Just get it over with. I hope some tree will uproot and come crashing down directly onto me. I hope I have a sudden brain aneurysm, and die speaking inaudibly to whoever's around at the time. I hope I break my neck after falling down a flight of stairs. I hope I develop a cancer. Oh, but lucky me, I seem to be invincible to all these things, while people who don't wish for it have these things happen to them . This "life" is a drab existence, one devoid of any substance and meaning, which only makes it worse once I imagine something far better. These little hills of "hope" aren't worth the trudging through the vast plains. I can't believe that I'm still on this wretched planet. I should've been dead years ago, or never born to begin with.
