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I went to a city carnival today nd it was so depressing that I wanted to go ER there so badly (in game)

glowIntheDark

glowIntheDark

A cope a day keeps the rope away
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Yes I know it was a very naive thing to do . Is should have just rotted at my room like I usually do but I dunno why I stepped.out kek.

So I went to the city carnival and man I wanted to rage and brutally off everybody because of the following reasons -

* Couples everywhere. Literally every little shop had young couples/married boomers holding hands, laughing, huddled close together in winter

*Everyone was better dressed and better looking than me

I don't know when I rot in my room I can cope by thinking I am ATLEAST not that bad looking but literally everywhere I looked I was mogged left right and centre

*The air just had a general sense of excitement and happiness that just further depressed me more instead of changing my mood. Stuffed in my room it's easy to convince myself that there isn't much to life but out there I got to see how everyone enjoys their life/laughs/sings/makes merry

* * Reminded how I m so concious of how I look. I seriously spent 60% of my time there sneaking looks by any mirrors available overthinking if my hair is too bad or if my shirt makes me look fat (as if shit like that matters)
 
The only good cope I had was good food

I ate like a fucking hippo

2 pizza slice/1 Italian bread/ half a donut/1 plate fried nuggets/2 fried chicken/1 plate pad thai noodles/1 plate of pasta chips kek
 
The only good cope I had was good food

I ate like a fucking hippo

2 pizza slice/1 Italian bread/ half a donut/1 plate fried nuggets/2 fried chicken/1 plate pad thai noodles/1 plate of pasta chips kek
This was also suifuel because I broke my goddamn diet it was like letting a starving kid free or something

Maybe I will starve tomorrow to make up for today
 
Then why would you go there, retard?
 
The only good cope I had was good food

I ate like a fucking hippo

2 pizza slice/1 Italian bread/ half a donut/1 plate fried nuggets/2 fried chicken/1 plate pad thai noodles/1 plate of pasta chips kek
Good to hear that!

At least you got something out of it.
Don't go to one ever again though. Unless you ascend :feelsokman:
 
2 pizza slice/1 Italian bread/ half a donut/1 plate fried nuggets/2 fried chicken/1 plate pad thai noodles/1 plate of pasta chips kek
wow that's really unhealthy. Did they have anything that wasn't deep fried or made out of grains?
 
Isolation has a way of building up delusion and mania, then you go outside in some meagre excitement only to be knocked over the head with the reality of your life situation, this is why I refuse to go outside anymore.
 
wow that's really unhealthy. Did they have anything that wasn't deep fried or made out of grains?
Yeah it was very unhealthy. Well it was carnival food so what can u expect. I was on a very serious diet this whole month and hence when I was exposed to such delicious food I went crazy lol now I feel a bit guilty.
 
Isolation has a way of building up delusion and mania, then you go outside in some meagre excitement only to be knocked over the head with the reality of your life situation, this is why I refuse to go outside anymore.
Why is this so true to my life. When I am alone in my room(which is 90% of my life) I make up scenarios in my mind and live in them// cope by telling myself things r not that bad that I am not that unlovable etc yet any social event like this knocks up sense into me alright
 
Why is this so true to my life. When I am alone in my room(which is 90% of my life) I make up scenarios in my mind and live in them// cope by telling myself things r not that bad that I am not that unlovable etc yet any social event like this knocks up sense into me alright
Being along is probably the best way to cope but you brain is constantly trying to get you to go out and have socialization. Life is like a prison where you are probably safer and generally more happy in solitary confinement but you start to go crazy without seeing the outside. Then when you step into the yard a basket ball player jumps you and destroys your asshole. Reality is we need the IRL stuff to keep us from going crazy but should probably keep it to smaller doses. I think the best thing is to find somewhere to go that you feel more comfortable and stick to that. But probably not a place with lots of young attractive people.
 
What country or continent?
 
YOU SHOULD HAVE WENT ER BUDDY BOYO
 
You got balls man I would've stayed home
 
Yes I know it was a very naive thing to do . Is should have just rotted at my room like I usually do but I dunno why I stepped.out kek.

So I went to the city carnival and man I wanted to rage and brutally off everybody because of the following reasons -

* Couples everywhere. Literally every little shop had young couples/married boomers holding hands, laughing, huddled close together in winter

*Everyone was better dressed and better looking than me

I don't know when I rot in my room I can cope by thinking I am ATLEAST not that bad looking but literally everywhere I looked I was mogged left right and centre

*The air just had a general sense of excitement and happiness that just further depressed me more instead of changing my mood. Stuffed in my room it's easy to convince myself that there isn't much to life but out there I got to see how everyone enjoys their life/laughs/sings/makes merry

* * Reminded how I m so concious of how I look. I seriously spent 60% of my time there sneaking looks by any mirrors available overthinking if my hair is too bad or if my shirt makes me look fat (as if shit like that matters)
I had the same exact experience as you when I was on vacation in Mexico City, I wanted to burn the city to ashes and see joy of the people turn into fear, this is just not right.
 
I also regretted going to the fair. Got mogged by 90% of people and was depressed about it
 

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