I made the mistake of taking up the offer to meet a woman I used to know from my previous job as she knew I partake in vaping concentrated THC, which she was in the mood for. I fell for it hook line and sinker. I fixed myself up like any guy going on a date would, shower, shave, nice shirt and pants, etc, even though we were just gonna get high and possibly watch a movie or two. Instead what proceeded was an incident that may very well get me persecuted in some way, shape or form, for something I didn't even do.
I arrived to her apartment and was greeted by her wearing not too much, but drunk as fuck. My heart immediately sank because I've had to deal with alcoholic family and friends and it was never fun to deal with, but she insisted we hang out, watch some stupid movie with Rebel Wilson that is supposed to make fun of romantic movies, and of course get high. Sure enough, not too long after we both take monster hits and are high as a kite, she tried fucking me, and insisted it was ok and that I wasn't taking advantage (her logic being that it "was ok to fuck her as long as her eyes are open"). I knew damn well that if I made any kind of contact with her tits, pussy, ass or mouth, it could leave me wide open to a sex crime charge, and I just don't think I'd stand a chance in the court rooms.
I know this next part is probably gonna get me cussed out and told off, but don't really care. There is method to my madness and if you can't understand that, it's your problem, not mine : I made the decision to make no sexual contact with her whatsoever, and proceeded to spend a considerable amount of energy having to pry her off me as she made numerous attempts to get me to touch her tits and pussy, playfully allowed herself to pop out of her top, do some little cardi B wap dance deal, and literally beg me to fuck her. I won't insult you guys' intelligence, I liked what I saw, and was considerably turned on, but the idea of getting locked up for rape and spending the rest of my life as a felon and sex offender (assuming I survived prison) made it all a bit mortifying, and once again, between her being young and cute, and me being as disgusting looking as I am creepy looking, no way in hell would anyone with more than two brain cells believe us fucking was completely consensual in a court of law, and I guess the fear of this was a literal boner killer that made the idea of even kissing her and maybe copping a feel, unpalatable.
Eventually she ran out of energy and we ended up cuddling briefly. This was probably the most at peace and blissful I've felt in a long time, and I consider it the highlight of the night more than her attempt to fuck me because in that short span that she had her arms around me, there was no anger, no bitterness, no hopelessness, no pain, no anger, no misery, and no sadness, which is really all I want at this point. I made sure to roll her onto her stomach so she wouldn't choke on her own vomit in her sleep and txtd her saying I had to go because I had to work the next day. She txtd me back the next day and laughed it off but apologized that she acted the way she did, and I tried to seize the moment and highlight how nothing happened (she indicated she was too drunk to remember the night in full) and we just ended up cuddling for a while. I honestly felt that she would see that I was a true catch and a sincerely good guy who saw her as a person and not as some piece of meat, and for the first time in a very, very, very, very long time, as I drove home, I felt that whole dawn of a new day, optimistic feeling, one goes through when they encounter unexpected pleasant turns in life.
Alas, my moment of bliss, hope, and feeling like going into a fourth decade of living would start on a good note was short lived, as she suddenly turned on me and accused me of raping her to avoid being ridiculed by some fuck buddy chad type that she has an on again off again relationship with. He found out through her roommates we met up and apparently mocked her and accused her of fucking me. In her desperate and obvious attempt to satisfy this dickhead's ego, she openly accused me on social media of taking advantage of her while drunk, and this guy is bragging, also on social media, about how I'm gonna get locked up for something I didn't even do. Now it's known amongst people I work with AND people in my apartment complex, and I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up jobless and homeless some time in the very near future with the way things are nowadays, despite the fact that I DIDN'T EVEN SO MUCH AS KISS HER AND WENT OUT OF MY WAY TO MAKE SURE SHE DIDN'T FUCKING DIE IN HER SLEEP ! WHAT THE FUCK !?! I WAS LITERALLY TRYING TO TAKE THE FUCKING HIGH ROAD AND NOT BE A FUCKING DEGENERATE ! YOU WERE CHOKING AND GAGGING IN YOUR SLEEP AND I ROLLED YOU OVER AND HELD A TRASH CAN UNDER YOU SO YOU WOULDNT HAVE TO SLEEP IN VOMIT AND POSSIBLY DIE THE SAME WAY JIMMY HENDRIX DID !!! HOW FUCKING SOULESS AND HEARTLESS DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO ACCUSE SOMEONE OF RAPE WHEN ALL THEY DID WAS HOLD YOU AND MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T CHOKE ON YOUR OWN VOMIT IN YOUR SLEEP !?!?!
I passed up what I'm certain would have been a damn porno movie experience with a hot younger woman that most guys my age can't get without paying, because I did feel bad seeing her like that, and I genuinely and sincerely did want to show her that I was a good guy who has a heart and is capable of tenderness and compassion, which by her own admission, no other guy she dated ever showed her. Now I'm being looked at sideways by people I have to work with and live around, and may possibly get run through the legal system, and for those who aren't aware, even if you get proved innocent of something like this, there will always be the dark cloud over your head of getting accused in the first place. The older I get, the harder and harder it gets to literally have a heart. Could never self terminate but feel the will to live decreasing with each passing moment, only gaining momentum thanks to stuff like this. Why can't I just stop breathing already ?
