Venting I was gone, now I'm back. Small story from school.

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

PREMISE
I Kinda went offline for a few days.
I just cant.
Normie world is a way too different, it's like a different Dimension.
Let me elab.


STORY
I left my phone turned off and didn't go online for the better part of two weeks.
As a result, my brain tried to adapt to the bizarro honk-a-shit world that is normieville in anno 2020.
After a short while it felt like I was loosing my grip on reality, it was so surreal.

Are These real People? How are they even operating?

SMALL STORY FROM SCHOOL

We did Group Projects.
I'm 22, this shit shouldn't be a Problem, we are all adults here, Right?
Nope.

Nobody got in a Group with me. I was singled out.

Before I know it, I am in a Group with two Girls that are repeately making fun of me behind my back.

They constantely look over, giggle and text each other and laugh at me in class.
Sometimes I hear them laughing behind my back and when I turn around I catch them Looking away.
They shit talk me to other People as well.
They also sometimes give me the "I'm Talking shit About you" greeting when they pass me in the hallway.
If you don't know what I am Talking About, you are not incel.
Rope.
Now.

CONT: I
Both of them are VERY short. One is a Red Head, both are hugely into Gay-Pop.

On being short:
I've never seen bigger shoe soles in my life.
Here, let me insert a Picture of what the redhead is wearing in School EVERYTIME:

"B-B-B-B-UT BRUUUH H-H-HEIGHT D-DDOESNT MATTER BRUUUH"
"D-DD-DANNY DEVITO BRUUUUUUUUUUUUH"

an hero you aidsheads, just fucking an hero. Sick of These fags.

CONT II:
So now I am stuck in a Group Project with These foids.
The teacher tells us to go to a different room to discuss our Projects, do some Managing, the usual hokey pokey.
It was a 1 on 1 conversation. The other breeding chamber was ill that day.

I swear.
I swear.
I swear.
I swear.
I swear.
I swear.
I swear.

She did not look at me.

She. Did. Not. Even. Look. In. My. General. Direction.

She acted like a literal autistic Person. She just stared at a wall to my Right while Talking to me.
Did not even attempt to force herself to look at my face.

I've gotten similar shit from People before, ok?
But this was next Level.
It was like Talking to down Syndrome Ray Charles.
You know what I mean?

Believe me, I was About to do the mess around, turn that cock cubator into a mess on the Ground, a big puddle of aids.
In "MechWarrior 2: 31st Century Combat".

Just kiddiing.
At the end of the day I am a very empathetic Person. I just wish to be treated like a human being.

CUNT III & EPILOGUE

Like most of you I get shit like this everyday.
I can do whatever I want.
I can Groom myself until I spit liquid Estrogen from dipping myself into zoomerdom.
I can go full on hobo and just stop shaving for 6 months until I look like an amish mass murderer.

There is no difference in how I am treated.

Listen.
Listen for real.
I have tried some crazy shit.
I grew a pedo-mustache once.
Literally.
A thick fucking 80s pedo mustache on my upper lip.
3 Months.
Nobody gave a fuck.
If you are ugly, thats it.
You are done.

People treat me like a child. Even teachers give me a different Treatment.
Normies don't understand this.
They don't see the subtleties between someone being genuinely neutral or nice to you and someone being professionally neutral to hide his disgust.

For example, when teachers at School Hand out papers, they stay away further from me, they extend their arm far more, they do it quicker.
If they think I am not Looking at them their facial expressions border on disgust.
I am serious and this is not unique to my experience.
I have a Radar, an intution for People around me because I have been singled out as Prey for my entire life.
I can spot it.
Do not be fooled and be steadfast Friends.

For even your brothers, the house of your father, Even they have dealt treacherously with you;
Yes, they have called a multitude after you.
Do not believe them, Even though they speak smooth words to you.

- Jeremiah 12:6 NKJV

Oh, that I had in the wilderness A lodging place for travelers;
That I might leave my people, And go from them!
For they are all adulterers, An assembly of treacherous men.

- Jeremiah 9:2 NKJV

Spoiler: After us, the flood.

Literally this, unrionically, they wear shit like this unironically.

We are fucked boyos. My grandma's is a cunt but her house is full of Pictures like this.

View: https://youtu.be/bqRc68rFsWk

Audie Murphy. Most decorated soldier of World War 2.

He received every military combat award for valor available from the U.S. Army, as well as French and Belgian awards for heroism. Murphy received the Medal of Honor for valor that he demonstrated at the age of 19 for single-handedly holding off a company of German soldiers for an hour at the Colmar Pocket in France in January 1945, then leading a successful counterattack while wounded and out of ammunition.

HE WAS 5'5 (166 cm), 112 lbs (51 kg).

I Always think About my ancestory and the People that came before me.
Especially the men. It fucking hurts.

View: https://youtu.be/DSwAd2T41-o


Even it does not feel like it, you guys are the ones that are carrying the torch into the future.
You somehow have to Keep it together.

That's it, I am out.

Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.
-Robert Louis Stevenson

@Simulacrasimulation

 

[Animecel2D]

Think @Simulacrasimulation was wondering where you went

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

Welcome home

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

Think @Simulacrasimulation was wondering where you went

I know, I am sorry. I am an anti-social asshole. My mind is a clusterfuck.

Welcome home

Thanks. Feels good.

 

[SuperMario64DS]

ill be honest, while i found your post hilarious, i have no idea what you are talking about

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

ill be honest, while i found your post hilarious, i have no idea what you are talking about

It is a reoccuring Problem with me. I am fairly incoherent. Sometimes I think I am on the spectrum. I will talk to People and they say shit like "ok ok slow down, everythings alright, jeez" "why so aggressive?".

TL;DR
go and fuck your mother if you can find her.
Just kidding.

I basically tried to live without the Internet for a few weeks, didnt turn on my shite phone or my Computer, went to bed earlier etc...
Eventually I lost my marbles and had to come back.
I am absolutely not downward compatible with normalfags.
over and out.

 

[DepravedAndDeprived]

How long did you unplug? I'd imagine the first few days are the worst and then it gets better.

 

[Pengwin]

That story was insane tbh
Sad you had to go through it man

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

How long did you unplug? I'd imagine the first few days are the worst and then it gets better.

2 weeks max. When you incel you loose track of time duh. Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh. Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.Duh.

It depends. I am always busy. I can't really LDAR like some people. I always have something to do.
I went to the forest and made fires and tried lighting different things.
Then I read a bit, wrote a bit.
I went cycling and bought food.
TBH it's easy if you are alone. Solitude is easy.
But what breaks you is the pressure to hang out with normalfaggots. It's like jumping in front of a steam train every single day.
You have to recover from that shit somehow, recharge.
It's hardly possible without advanced copes.

How long did you unplug? I'd imagine the first few days are the worst and then it gets better.

btw are you austrian?
just asking because I am almost mountain nigger too but teutonic

 

[TheBasedCel]

I'm sorry brocel

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

I'm sorry brocel

It's not that bad. I doesn't effect emotionally. I don't operate like that. Mostly, what outrages me is the blatant, in-your-face behaviour. They don't hold back. I am an empathetic Person. I would take a bullet for some People. But I can not stand hypocrisy. If someone crosses me or lies to me, I become very apathetic towards them. I could watch them burn alive in a car wreck and feel next to Nothing.
It's sad really, that I had to become like this to Shield myself.

See, if they were just honest with me, straight up said to me, "listen, you are ugly, no offense" - that would be a HUGE relief for me. Then we could talk.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
- 1 Corinthians 13:12

People sometimes fail to understand my Outlook on life. They Project their own value structures onto me, an Alien entity. I do not resent people. I do not place value on social operators, this is simply not my sphere of thinking. I am chiefly concerned with things that pretain to the eternal and the eventual end to end of my existence. That's it.

These experiences, they are not negative. Negative in comparison to what? We often like to say that life is the blackpill and the blackpill is truth so should I not be grateful for having been born in such a state where the truth is imposing itself onto me everyday without any effort on my part?

These People, normies, I am not above them or below them. I am just driving in a different lane on the same highway.
If I could make them see through my eyes, I would do it in a heartbeat, but as it is, I can only attest them ignorance and hope for the best.

 

[Urekkim]

Welcome home

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

another ape jfl? fucking Circus in here lel

 

[Urekkim]

another ape jfl? fucking Circus in here lel

Yes

 

[Deleted member 22999]

I hate group projects, I always end up getting forced into someone elses group and being ignored or whispered about

 

[Cowcel]

But I can not stand hypocrisy. If someone crosses me or lies to me, I become very apathetic towards them. I could watch them burn alive in a car wreck and feel next to Nothing.
It's sad really, that I had to become like this to Shield myself.

See, if they were just honest with me, straight up said to me, "listen, you are ugly, no offense" - that would be a HUGE relief for me. Then we could talk.



People sometimes fail to understand my Outlook on life. They Project their own value structures onto me, an Alien entity. I do not resent people. I do not place value on social operators, this is simply not my sphere of thinking. I am chiefly concerned with things that pretain to the eternal and the eventual end to end of my existence. That's it.

These experiences, they are not negative. Negative in comparison to what? We often like to say that life is the blackpill and the blackpill is truth so should I not be grateful for having been born in such a state where the truth is imposing itself onto me everyday without any effort on my part?

These People, normies, I am not above them or below them. I am just driving in a different lane on the same highway.
If I could make them see through my eyes, I would do it in a heartbeat, but as it is, I can only attest them ignorance and hope for the best.

TBH it's easy if you are alone. Solitude is easy.
But what breaks you is the pressure to hang out with normalfaggots. It's like jumping in front of a steam train every single day.
You have to recover from that shit somehow, recharge.
It's hardly possible without advanced copes.

That's exactly how I think too. It's like you got into my mind. OP, not to sound rude or anything, have you been diagnosed with any mental illness? I haven't been diagnosed but my mother's friend(female psychologist) has told her that I might be schizoid however I'm not sure whether to trust her or not

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

That's exactly how I think too. It's like you got into my mind. OP, not to sound rude or anything, have you been diagnosed with any mental illness? I haven't been diagnosed but my mother's friend(female psychologist) has told her that I might be schizoid however I'm not sure whether to trust her or not

Hmm nice avi and signature. Thats Ergo Proxy, right?

I have restrain the volume of my Output here a bit. I tend to think in a more associative manner, my thoughts do not Progress in a linear fashion. One piece of info might trigger a whole host of different nodes and before I know it I am rambling About some distant Memory, some faint idea from ages ago.

1) I have been in a mental Hospital before and if I were to sum it up I'd put it like this: If failed normiedom was a mineral, then mental hospitals are the mother lode.
I did not fit in there. People had sex. Some were uber-chads. None of These People deserved help or support. Bottom line.
While I was there I learned a lot about People, I gained many insights and was eventually released a month early, without a diagnosis (thankfully).
However, the main psychologist there suggested that I had "schizoid tendencies".

Now, without kicking off an Avalanche on the validity and philosophical as well as esoterical/political origins of modern day psychology here, I want to advise you to not fall for any form of labeling.
Look up the "replication Crisis". The field of psychology is among the disciplines which have taken the majority of the FLAK fire.

2) Schizoid in what context? By which criteria. See, it is all arbitrary. By modern day definitions, the majority of russians are introverts or schizoids because it's part of their culutural ethos to be quiet, reversed and unassuming. So are koreans and the japanese.

If you have Questions, I will answer all of them.
I have no Concept of rude.

 

[Cowcel]

Hmm nice avi and signature. Thats Ergo Proxy, right?

I have restrain the volume of my Output here a bit. I tend to think in a more associative manner, my thoughts do not Progress in a linear fashion. One piece of info might trigger a whole host of different nodes and before I know it I am rambling About some distant Memory, some faint idea from ages ago.

1) I have been in a mental Hospital before and if I were to sum it up I'd put it like this: If failed normiedom was a mineral, then mental hospitals are the mother lode.
I did not fit in there. People had sex. Some were uber-chads. None of These People deserved help or support. Bottom line.
While I was there I learned a lot about People, I gained many insights and was eventually released a month early, without a diagnosis (thankfully).
However, the main psychologist there suggested that I had "schizoid tendencies".

Now, without kicking off an Avalanche on the validity and philosophical as well as esoterical/political origins of modern day psychology here, I want to advise you to not fall for any form of labeling.
Look up the "replication Crisis". The field of psychology is among the disciplines which have taken the majority of the FLAK fire.

2) Schizoid in what context? By which criteria. See, it is all arbitrary. By modern day definitions, the majority of russians are introverts or schizoids because it's part of their culutural ethos to be quiet, reversed and unassuming. So are koreans and the japanese.

If you have Questions, I will answer all of them.
I have no Concept of rude.

Yes, it is from Ergo Proxy, the quotes too nice taste in anime you have.
Thanks for the clarification and description of mental hospitals I'll look up about the replication Crisis
Tbh, I don't think I am schizoid, I just have a very hard time to express thoughts and emotions to others (either via text and speaking) and social situations drain all of my energy. I just feel safe being alone.

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

Tbh, I don't think I am schizoid, I just have a very hard time to express thoughts and emotions to others (either via text and speaking) and social situations drain all of my energy. I just feel safe being alone.

I don't know how to express emotions either. Schizoid is very specific and far fetched though.
If anything I would Looking into autism spectrum disorders.
If you are a high functioning Autist, Maybe you have "learned" to act normally around People and therefore it is draining to you.

Also, this weird focus on specifying different shades and colors of emotions just serves females.
It is more than likely just
a side-product of gynocentrism.
As a man, we do not have this need for complex emotional coding and decoding.

What does that even mean to "express your emotions"?
I have never seen anybody do that.

What would that even look like?
"Martha, I am 22% redblue under the collar right now, please advance 10 paces in my direction so that I may initiate conflict and vent my frustration, thank you"

Explain your Problem dude. I don't understand.
Emotions are not problems for me. I feel no Need to express them.

You Need to Elaborate on that. Maybe I don't understand because I have no Friends and I hardly talk to my family.

 

[Cowcel]

I don't know how to express emotions either. Schizoid is very specific and far fetched though.
If anything I would Looking into autism spectrum disorders.
If you are a high functioning Autist, Maybe you have "learned" to act normally around People and therefore it is draining to you.

Also, this weird focus on specifying different shades and colors of emotions just serves females.
It is more than likely just
a side-product of gynocentrism.
As a man, we do not have this need for complex emotional coding and decoding.

What does that even mean to "express your emotions"?
I have never seen anybody do that.

What would that even look like?
"Martha, I am 22% redblue under the collar right now, please advance 10 paces in my direction so that I may initiate conflict and vent my frustration, thank you"

Explain your Problem dude. I don't understand.
Emotions are not problems for me. I feel no Need to express them.

You Need to Elaborate on that. Maybe I don't understand because I have no Friends and I hardly talk to my family.

I feel no need to express my feelings either. It's just my parents that want me to be more expressive when in a social situation or when something has happened when I, in fact, don't care and don't feel anything about that matter.Whenever something happens I don't care and can't experience any pleasure from it whatsoever.I'm relaxed when I'm alone in my room and could happily live in a small room as long as I have a laptop, internet connection and food.

Hope this made sense.

 

[ihaveno1]

Damn this post is so relatable, young foids will always take pleasure in the suffering of low tier males, witnessed it for countless yrs, they’re pure evil, sucks u had to be in the group with them, after a while I couldn’t take it anymore and had to resort to just online classes

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

I feel no need to express my feelings either. It's just my parents that want me to be more expressive when in a social situation or when something has happened when I, in fact, don't care and don't feel anything about that matter.Whenever something happens I don't care and can't experience any pleasure from it whatsoever.I'm relaxed when I'm alone in my room and could happily live in a small room as long as I have a laptop, internet connection and food.

Hope this made sense.

Ok, now this is very relatable.
Have People called you Things like "Monk" or "Hermit"?

My Dream would be to live either in a very small room (think Monk cell) without a bed and just a foldable japanese matress, or to live in a small house far away.

I don't experience much pleasure either. I am very calm and it creeps People out.
In the mental Hospital they made us do Group exercises were everybody had to describe everybody else on a piece of paper, anonymously.
Because people didn't know each other, they would just look at the Person and write down their Impression.

I got my paper back with almost 20+ People writing something like
"calm"
"very calm"
"quiet and calm"
"just how can you be so calm?!"
etc...

The reason is probably that I have a very inexpressive face. Now, People on the autistic spectrum tend to have siginicantly less microexpressions per second than normal People.
If you want to visualize it, think of it like this: Your Body constantely visually communicates, it's speaking.
So your Body has a certain rythm, there is frequency to your movements etc...
Your face is constantely sending out subtle cues, like a subliminal tone that never Ends.
If this visual Vibrato is very weak, you get the characteristic issue of the "blank stare" or "dead face".
======================================

Now, As I said in my initial repsonse to your post, does this even pose a Problem?
You/Me, we are not psychopathic.
I definetely experience emotions but just not as strongly as other People.
It's not a one side Thing either.
I am not irrationaly Angry or Joyous all the time.
I dont feel resentment towards people.

Like I said, I have a certain amount of emotional investment I am willing to put on the table. But if the other person abuses that, they become nothing to me.
There is no malicious intent there. I just don't feel anything towards them.

My parents have complained About the same Things. I should care About this or that. But I just don't.
I Always questioned their and other Peoples believes, why they put so much priority on certaint Things.
I just don't understand.

 

[Cowcel]

Ok, now this is very relatable.
Have People called you Things like "Monk" or "Hermit"?

My Dream would be to live either in a very small room (think Monk cell) without a bed and just a foldable japanese matress, or to live in a small house far away.

I don't experience much pleasure either. I am very calm and it creeps People out.
In the mental Hospital they made us do Group exercises were everybody had to describe everybody else on a piece of paper, anonymously.
Because people didn't know each other, they would just look at the Person and write down their Impression.

I got my paper back with almost 20+ People writing something like
"calm"
"very calm"
"quiet and calm"
"just how can you be so calm?!"
etc...

The reason is probably that I have a very inexpressive face. Now, People on the autistic spectrum tend to have siginicantly less microexpressions per second than normal People.
If you want to visualize it, think of it like this: Your Body constantely visually communicates, it's speaking.
So your Body has a certain rythm, there is frequency to your movements etc...
Your face is constantely sending out subtle cues, like a subliminal tone that never Ends.
If this visual Vibrato is very weak, you get the characteristic issue of the "blank stare" or "dead face".
======================================

Now, As I said in my initial repsonse to your post, does this even pose a Problem?
You/Me, we are not psychopathic.
I definetely experience emotions but just not as strongly as other People.
It's not a one side Thing either.
I am not irrationaly Angry or Joyous all the time.
I dont feel resentment towards people.

Like I said, I have a certain amount of emotional investment I am willing to put on the table. But if the other person abuses that, they become nothing to me.
There is no malicious intent there. I just don't feel anything towards them.

My parents have complained About the same Things. I should care About this or that. But I just don't.
I Always questioned their and other Peoples believes, why they put so much priority on certaint Things.
I just don't understand.

The haven't called me either of those. I have been told that I look serious or calm and that I'm weird or say weird things.Yeah, my dream is that too. I already live in a relatively small city (approximately 30.000 people) but I'd really like to live in the nature, somewhere where no human can be found.I don't understand my parents need to show emotions either tbh, there's no reason to.

 

[penismaster768]

so damn true with the fat shoes that goths wear and when teachers extend their arm so you can stay away from them while they have a weird look on their face

 

[taloh]

View attachment 286821 View attachment 286822 View attachment 286824 View attachment 286823

I HATE CUNTS THAT WEAR THESE PIECES OF SHIT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
High effort post tbh.