7:45AM
I enter the classroom, its empty. I go to my seat in the back, right corner of the classroom and sit down. Im the first one there and i was feeling alright, i was listening to music on the way to school and im kind of relaxed. Not too stressed or worried about anything. Just a normal thursday schoolday.
8:00AM
More classmates are entering the classroom, the only guy i talk to in there, is nowhere to be found and im a little dissapointed, but its OK. The first lesson starts, its maths. Im farily good at maths, not the best not the worst. My maths teacher is a complete asshole, he questions one student every lesson and they have to go to the front of the class and face the other students. (I was asked before and i failed miseralby because I felt all 20 eyes on my back while i was scribbling some parable formula and because of that i completely panicked internally and had a full blackout and got a F+)
9:25AM
Maths comes to an end and we get a 15 minute break to eat or drink something. Im usually alone or with that one guy I previously mentioned. Today i was walking down the stairs next to the popular guys in my class, one of them, a 6'11 chadlite who constantly makes fun of people (the envy I feel towards him is indescribeable). I was walking down the stair next to him and he says my name, i turn to him and i have to look up, as he is almost 45cm taller than me. It was extremely humiliating and i wanted to dissapear into the ground right there.
Sadly thats not possible and I had to face him. He says: "You dont talk to that many people, dont you?" I just smile it off while my brain is already planning my suicide. He continues to say: "Youre an Incel, man." Fucking hell man, im feeling extreme levels of shame, while im reliving that moment, right now. His droid normscum friends laugh at his hilarious statement and i walk away and eat the sandwich i packed.
I dont usually go out too often, outside of school. So this kind of conversation happens very rarely, this is why this jab at my integrity cut so deep.
I hate this shitty, autist life man. Most of the time i see someone with features i wish i had, i dont even feel envy anymore. Just pure hate.
I enter the classroom, its empty. I go to my seat in the back, right corner of the classroom and sit down. Im the first one there and i was feeling alright, i was listening to music on the way to school and im kind of relaxed. Not too stressed or worried about anything. Just a normal thursday schoolday.
8:00AM
More classmates are entering the classroom, the only guy i talk to in there, is nowhere to be found and im a little dissapointed, but its OK. The first lesson starts, its maths. Im farily good at maths, not the best not the worst. My maths teacher is a complete asshole, he questions one student every lesson and they have to go to the front of the class and face the other students. (I was asked before and i failed miseralby because I felt all 20 eyes on my back while i was scribbling some parable formula and because of that i completely panicked internally and had a full blackout and got a F+)
9:25AM
Maths comes to an end and we get a 15 minute break to eat or drink something. Im usually alone or with that one guy I previously mentioned. Today i was walking down the stairs next to the popular guys in my class, one of them, a 6'11 chadlite who constantly makes fun of people (the envy I feel towards him is indescribeable). I was walking down the stair next to him and he says my name, i turn to him and i have to look up, as he is almost 45cm taller than me. It was extremely humiliating and i wanted to dissapear into the ground right there.
Sadly thats not possible and I had to face him. He says: "You dont talk to that many people, dont you?" I just smile it off while my brain is already planning my suicide. He continues to say: "Youre an Incel, man." Fucking hell man, im feeling extreme levels of shame, while im reliving that moment, right now. His droid normscum friends laugh at his hilarious statement and i walk away and eat the sandwich i packed.
I dont usually go out too often, outside of school. So this kind of conversation happens very rarely, this is why this jab at my integrity cut so deep.
I hate this shitty, autist life man. Most of the time i see someone with features i wish i had, i dont even feel envy anymore. Just pure hate.
