I want to rope so bad but death is terrifying when I think about it. My life has been nothing but isolation and being bullied, always being the low hanging fruit everywhere I go why can't I just stop being high inhib for once and finally end my suffering. But I'm to paranoid it will fail or that it will hurt way more than I anticipated, also if their is a afterlife what will happen to me, nothing happening after in itself also scares me.
