bigantennaemay1
Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
- Posts
- 15,550
A few years back, I managed, through some divine miracle, to land a full-time software job. Since things were starting to look alright financially, I decided to take up lessons to learn to play the saxophone, because I've always loved saxophones and always wanted to learn to play one.
But after a while, I got laid off from my job for budget reasons. I've since been hired back on at the same place, but only part-time. I'm currently working there 8 hours a week, while putting myself through school again. But when I got laid off, I couldn't afford the lessons anymore, because I was unable to land any other software position, except the one I'm currently working, which I didn't get back until just last year. So I decided to end my lessons, and my instructor told me to at least keep practicing until I could afford to resume lessons. Well, I continued practicing for a while; 6-8 months or so after I quit my lessons, I think. But then I gave up due to depression. My job situation wasn't really improving, and I lost the motivation to carry on. I still have my saxophone, it's an alto, and it was a rental that I had eventually paid off before I got laid off. But I haven't touched it in the last two years.
I wonder if I've completely forgotten how to play. I'm afraid to pick it up again and find out, because I don't want to find out that I have forgotten everything. And I know, I know, it's a self-perpetuated negative feedback loop. But I'm too afraid to know.
But after a while, I got laid off from my job for budget reasons. I've since been hired back on at the same place, but only part-time. I'm currently working there 8 hours a week, while putting myself through school again. But when I got laid off, I couldn't afford the lessons anymore, because I was unable to land any other software position, except the one I'm currently working, which I didn't get back until just last year. So I decided to end my lessons, and my instructor told me to at least keep practicing until I could afford to resume lessons. Well, I continued practicing for a while; 6-8 months or so after I quit my lessons, I think. But then I gave up due to depression. My job situation wasn't really improving, and I lost the motivation to carry on. I still have my saxophone, it's an alto, and it was a rental that I had eventually paid off before I got laid off. But I haven't touched it in the last two years.
I wonder if I've completely forgotten how to play. I'm afraid to pick it up again and find out, because I don't want to find out that I have forgotten everything. And I know, I know, it's a self-perpetuated negative feedback loop. But I'm too afraid to know.