Venting I suspect that LDARing for years has ruined my mind

[Deleted member 8353]

Sometimes I forget something that I just looked at minutes to even seconds ago, such as a date, or the time. This never used to happen to me at all, years ago my short term memory was excellent. My spelling ability has gone to shit, can barely remember how to write complex words. I have no motivation to learn new things, even video games that I've never played before appear daunting. Also my reading comprehension and ability to remain focused while reading in depth sentences or paragraphs is fucking awful now, often I find myself having to reread something multiple times just to be able to process it.

I'm only 24.

It seems probable that if I continue like this I'll be a vegetable when I'm old. Then again, this may not matter, as I don't intend to live that long anyway. But it's just ridiculous what the LDAR lifestyle can do to you when adopted for a long period of time, it seems to essentially double the mental issues associated with loneliness.

 

[Insomniac]

I’m in a similar position, I’m nowhere near as intelligent and cognitive as I used to be. I was a pretty smart kid in my teens but I’m a complete retard now tbh. Everything is a challenge.

Doing drugs like weed probably doesn’t help but I need something to cope with.

 

[Deleted member 15752]

Yea dude its confusing I feel the same.

 

[JohnnySalami]

I feel it and I’m only 19 bro

 

[Deleted member 12355]

Idk, man. Some gay shit about not letting your life depend of validation from females, but then again, that's much easier said than done. LDARing seems like an easy gateway into the abyss which can only lead to further despair. You're not doing anything by slowly numbing yourself out. You tell yourself you're gonna kill yourself a few years down the line, but if it's too difficult now, just imagine how difficult it will be at that point after years of numbing yourself out, slowly thrusting away at your will power with drugs and rotting. If you want to kill yourself, it's best to get high now, maybe tonight even, while there's still some fuel and willpower left in the machinery of your brain, and then shoot yourself in the head. Nothing will come out of prolonging the suffering, it will only be harder the longer you wait. Then again, that's only if you really want to kill yourself. There's also other things you can do that will probably at least somewhat improve your mental state and make you feel a bit less depressed.

 

[Justdone]

Loneliness kills.

 

[Ritalincel]

try guanfacine or dextroamphetamine

 

[StaroRavager]

Loneliness kills.

 

[NEETAndTidy]

I’m in a similar position, I’m nowhere near as intelligent and cognitive as I used to be. I was a pretty smart kid in my teens but I’m a complete retard now tbh. Everything is a challenge.

Doing drugs like weed probably doesn’t help but I need something to cope with.

Damn i can relate.

I forget everything from school tbh

 

[Deleted member 8353]

Idk, man. Some gay shit about not letting your life depend of validation from females, but then again, that's much easier said than done. LDARing seems like an easy gateway into the abyss which can only lead to further despair. You're not doing anything by slowly numbing yourself out. You tell yourself you're gonna kill yourself a few years down the line, but if it's too difficult now, just imagine how difficult it will be at that point after years of numbing yourself out, slowly thrusting away at your will power with drugs and rotting. If you want to kill yourself, it's best to get high now, maybe tonight even, while there's still some fuel and willpower left in the machinery of your brain, and then shoot yourself in the head. Nothing will come out of prolonging the suffering, it will only be harder the longer you wait. Then again, that's only if you really want to kill yourself. There's also other things you can do that will probably at least somewhat improve your mental state and make you feel a bit less depressed.

I can't kill myself yet, my brain won't let me do it. It's my parents, I refuse to make them experience that. Besides, it's very difficult to kill yourself if you don't have a pressing reason to do so, and unless I'm forced to wageslave, or kicked out, then I don't really have an immediate motivation. Usually I can barely find the willpower to do anything, much less rope.

It would be nice if I could just die in my sleep, or have an accident which kills me fast and it doesn't hurt too much or for too long. But I know it won't be that easy.

 

[Bakura806]

yes, all the social skills I might have had have completely diminished

 

[Ritalincel]

Doing drugs like weed probably doesn’t help

nootropics help

 

[Cuyen]

You guys will age worse tbh please go to nature at least

 

[mylifeistrash]

LDARing is fucking stupid and just gives you literal brain damage.

To stay healthy you need exercise, have to do at least some work and get some socialization.

 

[BadBreathcel]

LDARing is fucking stupid and just gives you literal brain damage.

To stay healthy you need exercise, have to do at least some work and get some socialization.

 

[starystulejarz]

It will get worse trust me so enjoy your memory while you can, me personally most of the time can no longer remember stuff and recall it from long time memory. I can barely recall words to create the sentences.

 

[Cleftcel]

first you cant make it through a book, then eventually you cant sit through a film

 

[mybodyisrotting]

At your age I was at the end of my 5 year NEET LDAR streak; the mental deterioration kept progressing despite getting a job and some social life. I actually have to keep a journal in OneNote where I more or less describe the events that happened at work, otherwise my memories literally blend unrelated cases from several days into one. Some of my coworkers even expressed genuine concern and lowkey offered help for drug addiction I don't even drink alcohol

 

[Michael15651]

Yeah, it can definitely have a mental impact.