I swear to god, as someone who hasn't solved the issue of a partner but rather got away from it by involuntary experiencing hardships in different aspects, I don't care anymore.
At this point, while my attraction stands true and all, i have this emotion in me, that looks at me and says: fuck me. 25 years of maddening because of my mental background, fuck having a partner.
At this point, my ego is too big to let god make up to me. I want to keep suffering, fuck having a partner, let mm die alone.
I suffered so much of it that I hate the mere subject, i get red when people talk to me abou it.
In my mind, i want to keep suffering and just declare this my enemy in stead of pretending the past 25 years haven't happened.
At this point, while my attraction stands true and all, i have this emotion in me, that looks at me and says: fuck me. 25 years of maddening because of my mental background, fuck having a partner.
At this point, my ego is too big to let god make up to me. I want to keep suffering, fuck having a partner, let mm die alone.
I suffered so much of it that I hate the mere subject, i get red when people talk to me abou it.
In my mind, i want to keep suffering and just declare this my enemy in stead of pretending the past 25 years haven't happened.
