Gladiatorcel
Pro World of Warcraft Player. Depressedcel.
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- Joined
- Jan 31, 2020
- Posts
- 857
They were talking amongst themselves as we were about to head to the same sidewalk when one of them started going the other direction to the opposide sidewalk and started giggling. Then I overheard one of them saying "omg hes like the ugliest guy Ive seen around here", whilst the other said "Wait, which one are you talking about", only for the other one to point towards me. The third foid said something like "OMG u cant said that out loud!" only for them to stop and wait until I had gained some further distance to them. They were drunk, but it still hurts. I didn't even look at them, I don't look at people in general, I just look into the distance, avoiding all eye contact. They were heading to a party it seemed, but still had the time to stop up so that they could avoid me at all costs and further talk shit about me.
I try to stay positive and do all the things necessary to keep a sane mind. I excercise, get enough sunlight, get fresh air, play with my cat, etc, but I still cannot justify why I should keep going in this world that so obviously doesn't want me. I know some IT members are gonna read this and probably say "They could probably sense ur misogyny" or "You probably have a creepy look", even though I dont even glance at the foids.
I'm confident now that I don't even live in the same world as most people. Nobody normal has to go through this. I wish guns were legal here so I could just sail into the ocean with my boat and end it all, for nothing but an empty boat to be found.
I think the world can be beautiful, I truly do. I love the vibrant colors, the sounds of the birds and trees, the winter snow, the sunset, the grain on a big field and the stars at night. But none of this matters. I will never be able to share these beautiful moments with a romantic partner, let alone a friend who respects me. I'm not suicidal because I'm depressed, I'm suicidal because I can't share the beauty of the world.
"A beautiful environment is the darkest hell if you have to experience it all alone." - Elliot Rodger
I try to stay positive and do all the things necessary to keep a sane mind. I excercise, get enough sunlight, get fresh air, play with my cat, etc, but I still cannot justify why I should keep going in this world that so obviously doesn't want me. I know some IT members are gonna read this and probably say "They could probably sense ur misogyny" or "You probably have a creepy look", even though I dont even glance at the foids.
I'm confident now that I don't even live in the same world as most people. Nobody normal has to go through this. I wish guns were legal here so I could just sail into the ocean with my boat and end it all, for nothing but an empty boat to be found.
I think the world can be beautiful, I truly do. I love the vibrant colors, the sounds of the birds and trees, the winter snow, the sunset, the grain on a big field and the stars at night. But none of this matters. I will never be able to share these beautiful moments with a romantic partner, let alone a friend who respects me. I'm not suicidal because I'm depressed, I'm suicidal because I can't share the beauty of the world.
"A beautiful environment is the darkest hell if you have to experience it all alone." - Elliot Rodger