Life is brutal as a wizardcel and I hate my life more and more the older that I become. I don't have any motivation anymore and I don't even feel like getting out of bed most of the time. I keep a phone and laptop in bed to watch anime, browse the internet, and read. My entire life is mostly LDAR. That's what happens without having friends and love. The more I live, the more I feel like I don't have a place in this world. If I took nembutal, I wouldn't want to survive an overdose. I would want the most peaceful method of dying without any pain. What's the point of getting out of bed and doing anything if everything is suffering, loneliness, and pain?
At this point in my life I have anhedonia and a desire to die because I can't tolerate this world anymore. I hate almost all foids and I also hate almost all of humanity. I fantasize about annihilating this world and destroying humanity as retribution for my suffering and inceldom and oppression. When someone becomes a wizardcel, it's basically completely over, especially if a teenage girl is the only option which it is for me. Without having a high school girl, life won't ever be tolerable for me and at this point, the most life could ever be for me is tolerable.
Life will never be happy after a certain point of no return. That's why I ask myself why I don't just rope. I probably will in the next year or few years, especially if my life doesn't get any better, which it probably won't and never does. Why can't someone in this world invent a pill that puts a person to sleep and then a second is a slow release that after a person is asleep will painlessly kill them with a 100% success rate? That would be a good invention because it would help people such as myself have an easy merciful painless way to leave this cruel world. The only reason I haven't roped already is because I still wanted to try to win and get the high school girl I need to have some happiness. I also haven't roped yet because I'm afraid of it being physically painful or suffocating if it restricts oxygen. I think suicide is destiny for some people and it can't be avoided no matter how hard a person tries.
At this point in my life I have anhedonia and a desire to die because I can't tolerate this world anymore. I hate almost all foids and I also hate almost all of humanity. I fantasize about annihilating this world and destroying humanity as retribution for my suffering and inceldom and oppression. When someone becomes a wizardcel, it's basically completely over, especially if a teenage girl is the only option which it is for me. Without having a high school girl, life won't ever be tolerable for me and at this point, the most life could ever be for me is tolerable.
Life will never be happy after a certain point of no return. That's why I ask myself why I don't just rope. I probably will in the next year or few years, especially if my life doesn't get any better, which it probably won't and never does. Why can't someone in this world invent a pill that puts a person to sleep and then a second is a slow release that after a person is asleep will painlessly kill them with a 100% success rate? That would be a good invention because it would help people such as myself have an easy merciful painless way to leave this cruel world. The only reason I haven't roped already is because I still wanted to try to win and get the high school girl I need to have some happiness. I also haven't roped yet because I'm afraid of it being physically painful or suffocating if it restricts oxygen. I think suicide is destiny for some people and it can't be avoided no matter how hard a person tries.
