Since I was a small child, I sometimes have moments where I completely escalate. I take off my clothes, make faces, scream loudly (I'm afraid that the neighbors will hear it), I hit walls, lie on the floor, beat myself, be make myself even more ugly in front of the mirror and scream at myself, scream loudly peverse thing, make fucking movements at my refrigerator. Then I look out the window, stick my tongue out and open my mouth sharply. I press my hands together and it looks like I'm having a seizure. I think I'm seriously ill. It usually happens when I'm alone. sometimes I make grimaces when others are there.
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