I now realized something...

[The Wolf]

In my parent's mind, I'm an "asshole", "unlikable", "unfriendly" and unpleasant. They have directly and indirectly stated that. However, they also provoke these reactions, believe me.

I've also realized that they never felt bad about my situation, any of its symptoms or impacts on my life.

Now it has become clear to me: feeling bad about my situation would be almost devastating. But they can now not feel bad, or more accurately, they are allowed to not care or feel bad, because I am after all, an "asshole" or "very unfriendly" to them. I'm not the friendliest, I can admit that, however I often think they overreact to or even provoke certain unfriendliness. Often, me being in a neutral mood is perceived by them as "unfriendly" - in German we have the word unsympathisch* - there is no direct English translation for it* (Google translate is wrong).

Anyway, I think its incredibly convenient. They often mistake my depression for just being an asshole, and then exaggerate my unfriendliness. I swear I'm not as unfriendly as they claim. Then, they can subconsciously not care that I will never have a gf (even they know that - they know it's my looks most of all). It makes me very sad, and I feel helpless. Not even my parents care.






*ChatGPT

The closest dictionary English translation of „unsympathisch“ is:

unlikeable / unpleasant / bad vibe

But the exact meaning depends on context.

In German, unsympathisch usually means someone gives you a bad or unpleasant impression. It can mean, depending on context, being:

• not likeable
• pompous, pretentious, self-important
• conceited
• arrogant
• rude
• unfriendly
• unpleasant to be around

Examples:

Er ist mir unsympathisch.
= I don’t like him / I find him unlikeable / He rubs me the wrong way / He is very arrogant, feels too good about himself.

Das ist eine unsympathische Person.
= That’s an unpleasant / unlikeable person.

Best natural translation in casual English:
“He/she gives me bad vibes” or “I don’t like their vibe.”

 

[Pancakecel]

From speaking with you for a while, you're certainly not unfriendly or an asshole. I'd say you're actually one of the kinder, and calm users here, which is surprising considering all the shit you've dealt with, and continue to do on a daily basis.

I'd completely understand if you chose to be a complete asshole to everyone and everything, but that's not who you are imo.

Honestly, this just sounds like your parents and their general delusion about your situation again. By telling themselves that your situation exists, because of something you've done/ do, they can wave any responsibility, and shield themselves from the reality.

 

[Chud Norris72]

From speaking with you for a while, you're certainly not unfriendly or an asshole. I'd say you're actually one of the kinder, and calm users here

 

[The Wolf]

From speaking with you for a while, you're certainly not unfriendly or an asshole. I'd say you're actually one of the kinder, and calm users here, which is surprising considering all the shit you've dealt with, and continue to do on a daily basis.

Thanks man

I'd completely understand if you chose to be a complete asshole to everyone and everything, but that's not who you are imo.

Honestly, this just sounds like your parents and their general delusion about your situation again. By telling themselves that your situation exists, because of something you've done/ do, they can wave any responsibility, and shield themselves from the reality.

Exactly... good points. Like I deserve being in this situation, because I'm an asshole. And because I deserve it, they don't have to feel bad or sad about it.

 

[deleted dude]

I think it's just an effect of horn effect. If you are negative once, they will blame you as cold and unsympathetic, even if you did nothing wrong. That is just the view they have about you.

Now, think about it. How would they act if a attractive chad or foid is unhappy? Would they say the same thing, or try to be more understanding. It's all a symptom of having one thing that is crucial to live a good life.

 

[mrlunatic]

In my parent's mind, I'm an "asshole", "unlikable", "unfriendly" and unpleasant. They have directly and indirectly stated that. However, they also provoke these reactions, believe me.

I've also realized that they never felt bad about my situation, any of its symptoms or impacts on my life.

Now it has become clear to me: feeling bad about my situation would be almost devastating. But they can now not feel bad, or more accurately, they are allowed to not care or feel bad, because I am after all, an "asshole" or "very unfriendly" to them. I'm not the friendliest, I can admit that, however I often think they overreact to or even provoke certain unfriendliness. Often, me being in a neutral mood is perceived by them as "unfriendly" - in German we have the word unsympathisch* - there is no direct English translation for it* (Google translate is wrong).

Anyway, I think its incredibly convenient. They often mistake my depression for just being an asshole, and then exaggerate my unfriendliness. I swear I'm not as unfriendly as they claim. Then, they can subconsciously not care that I will never have a gf (even they know that - they know it's my looks most of all). It makes me very sad, and I feel helpless. Not even my parents care.






*ChatGPT

The closest dictionary English translation of „unsympathisch“ is:

unlikeable / unpleasant / bad vibe

But the exact meaning depends on context.

In German, unsympathisch usually means someone gives you a bad or unpleasant impression. It can mean they seem:

• not likeable
• cold
• arrogant
• rude
• unfriendly
• unpleasant to be around

Examples:

Er ist mir unsympathisch.
= I don’t like him / I find him unlikeable / He rubs me the wrong way.

Das ist eine unsympathische Person.
= That’s an unpleasant / unlikeable person.

Best natural translation in casual English:
“He/she gives me bad vibes” or “I don’t like their vibe.”

They sound emotionally manipulative. Been there.

 

[SewerGoat]

It's just the: It must be your personality then. Heard it before from people trying to gaslight me. The innate believe is: If you do not have any luck in your life, you must be a bad person. Because attractive and successful people just can't be assholes in their worldview.

Some people, especially ugly NT people, just get unlucky. A normie could too for that matter. There is no meta morality governing this world. Normies can't fathom the idea that shit can happen to basically anybody, without any sound reason involving justice. They want to believe in a just world so hard, when the evidence just doesn't support this at all.

 

[The Wolf]

It's just the: It must be your personality then. Heard it before from people trying to gaslight me. The innate believe is: If you do not have any luck in your life, you must be a bad person. Because attractive and successful people just can't be assholes in their worldview.

Some people, especially ugly NT people, just get unlucky. A normie could too for that matter. There is no meta morality governing this world. Normies can't fathom the idea that shit can happen to basically anybody, without any sound reason involving justice. They want to believe in a just world so hard, when the evidence just doesn't support this at all.

Das stimmt alles. Über ein paar Punkte habe ich so noch gar nie nachgedacht.Bei meinen Eltern ist es aber so, dass sie genau wissen, dass ich nicht gut aussehe. Die Beschreibungen „Arschloch“ und "unsympathisch" kommen ihnen da gerade gelegen...

So müssen sie sich wegen meiner Situation nicht schlecht fühlen und kein Mitleid haben, weil ich auch mit 29 ziemlich sicher keine Freundin finden werde.

 

[SewerGoat]

Das stimmt alles. Über ein paar Punkte habe ich so noch gar nie nachgedacht.Bei meinen Eltern ist es aber so, dass sie genau wissen, dass ich nicht gut aussehe. Die Beschreibungen „Arschloch“ und "unsympathisch" kommen ihnen da gerade gelegen...

So müssen sie sich wegen meiner Situation nicht schlecht fühlen und kein Mitleid haben, weil ich auch mit 29 ziemlich sicher keine Freundin finden werde.

Ich würde an deiner Stelle schauen, dass du ausziehst sobald du genug Geld zusammen hast. Es ist besser nicht 24/7 sich mit so einem Zeug konfrontieren zu müssen. Finanziell kacke aber besser für die Nerven.

 

[DoomThreeKoala]

From speaking with you for a while, you're certainly not unfriendly or an asshole. I'd say you're actually one of the kinder, and calm users here, which is surprising considering all the shit you've dealt with, and continue to do on a daily basis.

This as well. TheGrayWolf is definitely a very friendly user. His family are th arseholes.

 

[H U N T E R]

From speaking with you for a while, you're certainly not unfriendly or an asshole. I'd say you're actually one of the kinder, and calm users here, which is surprising considering all the shit you've dealt with, and continue to do on a daily basis.

I'd completely understand if you chose to be a complete asshole to everyone and everything, but that's not who you are imo.

Honestly, this just sounds like your parents and their general delusion about your situation again. By telling themselves that your situation exists, because of something you've done/ do, they can wave any responsibility, and shield themselves from the reality.

I completely agree. I talked to him too, and he’s one of the nicest users on this forum. I saw positivity in him even through the brutal situations in life. It’s really painful to know that he hears those negative words from his own parents.

 

[H U N T E R]

This as well. TheGrayWolf is definitely a very friendly user. His family are th arseholes.

 

[parbate2025]

In my parent's mind, I'm an "asshole", "unlikable", "unfriendly" and unpleasant. They have directly and indirectly stated that. However, they also provoke these reactions, believe me.

I've also realized that they never felt bad about my situation, any of its symptoms or impacts on my life.

Now it has become clear to me: feeling bad about my situation would be almost devastating. But they can now not feel bad, or more accurately, they are allowed to not care or feel bad, because I am after all, an "asshole" or "very unfriendly" to them. I'm not the friendliest, I can admit that, however I often think they overreact to or even provoke certain unfriendliness. Often, me being in a neutral mood is perceived by them as "unfriendly" - in German we have the word unsympathisch* - there is no direct English translation for it* (Google translate is wrong).

Anyway, I think its incredibly convenient. They often mistake my depression for just being an asshole, and then exaggerate my unfriendliness. I swear I'm not as unfriendly as they claim. Then, they can subconsciously not care that I will never have a gf (even they know that - they know it's my looks most of all). It makes me very sad, and I feel helpless. Not even my parents care.






*ChatGPT

The closest dictionary English translation of „unsympathisch“ is:

unlikeable / unpleasant / bad vibe

But the exact meaning depends on context.

In German, unsympathisch usually means someone gives you a bad or unpleasant impression. It can mean, depending on context, being:

• not likeable
• pompous, pretentious, self-important
• conceited
• arrogant
• rude
• unfriendly
• unpleasant to be around

Examples:

Er ist mir unsympathisch.
= I don’t like him / I find him unlikeable / He rubs me the wrong way / He is very arrogant, feels too good about himself.

Das ist eine unsympathische Person.
= That’s an unpleasant / unlikeable person.

Best natural translation in casual English:
“He/she gives me bad vibes” or “I don’t like their vibe.”

Can relate.
I've written latest post about this.

 

[LeFrenchCel]

Just have good vibes bro