I need help

[UnabomberJunior]

I joined here after many years of just reading at night topics and crying.
I, m 19 , I never had a friend, i was bullied and was beating to death at school 8 years everyday .
Mom and dad left me and birth, mom wanted to kill me.
Alcoholic grandpa and suicidal grandma which i lived with.
Never had a girlfriend, not holding a hand, not a kiss, i didn t speak 100 words in 12 years of school.
At the moment i have 0 empathy towards people and i want everybody to die.
The only reason i m now alive and i didnt killed myself and anyone else is because it s the hope who keep me alive.
The hope i cand find in this degenerate society a girl, a pure , loyal, lonely girl like me.
Im not that ugly, i want a pure girl, a girl who can trully love me.
And this is my last year, if this year i will not find that person i will QUIT but if i quit i will take as many i can with me, they need to feel my pain.
What i want can only be achieved young, the older people get the less they feel the emotions, especiall y the love. I want to be the first for a girl, to be her world and she mine.
I want your opinion not about what i wrote down below here, but about that video. Here is the video i watch and cry everyday at, because i never had that, and this is the only thing i ever wanted and want. I wish you don t start calling me pedo because of the kids in video . Can u watch this, and just tell me how realistic it is to find/have that? I m losing my minds, i had to much. Thank you.
Here is the video , skip to 0:23

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzmfkDv0Zys

Please if you watch, watch all and with background music. I dont want your answer to be cliche and bullshits like ,, try to find a passion , friends, or anything,, or wait more,, -
The only thing who can save me it s to get at least 50% of what this video show.. that pure.. inocent love. i dont care about sex, i hate all human race, disgusting creatures. Thank you for your time.
I get my motivation from hate, i m a MMA fighter which despite trash genetic i still do good.
But like i said, i read hundreds of opinions along the years about mass shoters, bla bla bla, mental health which is bullshit from my point of view, especially for me. I hate the most when people who had a good life/have a good life and didn t had the hell i had and the pain i have give opinion like they would have handled it better.
I m so full of hate, at the same time if one girl will touch my hand i will blush, i want her to hug me and look in my eyes, telling eachother ( i love you) and to make me feel safe.
I want her to be the first and last.
I have 3 knockouts in MMA and i always use that mindset ,, if i don t try to remove this guy head from the shoulder my ( potential/girlfriend will die),, , my life and survival is based on a hope, a hope which i can t controll anymore.
if you want more details, beside the video above, here u can see how my life was everyday before i started MMA and take my revenge.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh98_l3mOaM

Thanks everybody for their time and i m sorry if i upset someone because i know some may say i m bluepilled because i still wish

 

[Mod King Xerxes]

1. They won’t feel your pain, they are barely sentient, low IQ, NPC’s. The survivors of your massacre or their family and friends will just write you off as another sick asshole and move on with their lives.

2. Wait…are you saying you’re a girl too?

3. I love this movie but you should know the supposed female vampire in it is actually a boy with feminine features that get him mistaken as being a girl. I think there’s a book this movie is based on or perhaps it’s the other version of it that bares this fact of it’s creator’s intent out, so what you’re actually pining away for is to have a loving fag relationship but one based entirely in the supposed innocence of youth ie young love.

On a brighter note however the vampire’s actress actually is 100% female or at least in this version of the movie that’s the case.

4. If you really want to pay Jews and society back either push forward and succeed where they expected you to fail and so gym maxx and MMA max and become a champion and a Chad or if you can’t fully pull that off at least keep studying and practicing various combat and self defense forms and become a formidable incel nobody will fuck with.

Then get on NEETbux if you can and help destroy ZOG in a death by a thousand cuts sense or if you’ve got a big enough brain to generate wealth and fat stacks of cash like @PPEcel instead of going on a murder/suicide ER spree find better copes that ultimately are not quite as self destructive, such as stuffing your face with high quality 5 star restaurant food and fucking top tier Stacy high priced whores.

The normies hate the idea of incels not taking their own lives via suicide and so that’s the real way you get back at them somewhat ie you find a way to live and cope and ultimately make the best of a bad situation.

 

[TheProphetMuscle]

We’re your friends bro. Are you a MMAcel? I did a cage fight before

 

[fuckinggarbage]

Dude many girls are virgin even at 21 yo, if you work on improving yourself (you aren't ugly right?) you can have a virgin before 30, the trend show that girls are dating older and older dudes so the probability is in your favor