Venting I miss my dad

[sub3genecel]

My dad died 2 days before my 13th birthday and his birthday is coming up. He was found dead in his bed at a halfway home after battling with heroin addiction for most of my life. My life has been so painful since my parents divorced when I was 4. He was always struggling with addiction so he was in and out of my life so I basically grew up without an adult male role model. My family always likes to tell me stories about who he was and he sounds like such an amazing man. I remember crying to myself around the time I got my first car because I knew he would be proud of me and he was really into cars. I believe he would have understood and accept me for who I really am and my inability to get a girlfriend. I am considering going to his gravestone for his birthday on February 5 th this year because I have never felt strong enough to but I still don’t know if I am now. I just wish he was still here because based off my handfuls of memories of him and all the stories I heard of him I believe he would truly care about me unlike anyone else ever did. I’ve never felt like anyone would care if I told them my full story about him irl so I’m doing it anonymously online

 

[undesiredsamsung]

View: https://youtu.be/fKqKM-gvK_w

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

stop lying grey

 

[sub3genecel]

stop lying grey

What do u think im lying about

 

[GrokGhoul]

RIP to your pops dude. Sorry to hear about what your going through. Just know I hope you keep going, I know that would make Your Dad proud.

 

[sub3genecel]

RIP to your pops dude. Sorry to hear about what your going through. Just know I hope you keep going, I know that would make Your Dad proud.

Thank you I try to make him proud I’m just sad that I won’t be able to carry on his name or name my kids after him

 

[VanGobbel]

Rip ur dad

 

[Barlog]

I don't even think about my dad. He was unremarkable in every way. When he died I only cried for attention. I wanted to be hugged by the foids in my family.

 

[itneverevenstarted]

don't even think about my dad. He was unremarkable in every way. When he died I only cried for attention. I wanted to be hugged by the foids in my family.

based manh

 

[flute_snoop]

Rip ur dad

 

[ItsOverMan]

My dad died 2 days before my 13th birthday and his birthday is coming up. He was found dead in his bed at a halfway home after battling with heroin addiction for most of my life. My life has been so painful since my parents divorced when I was 4. He was always struggling with addiction so he was in and out of my life so I basically grew up without an adult male role model. My family always likes to tell me stories about who he was and he sounds like such an amazing man. I remember crying to myself around the time I got my first car because I knew he would be proud of me and he was really into cars. I believe he would have understood and accept me for who I really am and my inability to get a girlfriend. I am considering going to his gravestone for his birthday on February 5 th this year because I have never felt strong enough to but I still don’t know if I am now. I just wish he was still here because based off my handfuls of memories of him and all the stories I heard of him I believe he would truly care about me unlike anyone else ever did. I’ve never felt like anyone would care if I told them my full story about him irl so I’m doing it anonymously online

Aw I'm sorry. I understand. My dad died when I was 10. Also my mom died a little over a year ago so just gone done marking the 1 year anniversary of her death.

 

[poorenglishcel]

I am sorry man

 

[nystagmuscel]

stop lying grey

Shut up and let the guy grieve faggot.

And to OP: I can relate to you. My dad struggled with alcohol and Xanax addiction after he was prescribed it in the hospital after getting hit by a motorcycle. He was in and out of my life, even being homeless and going to prison at times. I miss him everyday, and although it doesn’t get “easier” ( in that the pain will always be there.) it can become more livable over time. There will be times when it flares up, like on holidays and such, but eventually you will be able to know in advance and sort of steel yourself ( not that it won’t still hurt, but still.) I would encourage you to go to his grave like you said, it may help you get closure, which isn’t a cure, but may help the restlessness of it. I would also like to recommend r/longtermtre on Reddit. ( yes I know Reddit is cringe, but this specific one is less bad) have you ever wondered why wild animals don’t get trauma despite being hunted and shit? It is because they use up all of the “energy” (for lack of a better word) through a tremor response. (Have you ever seen a dog shake during fireworks, for example?) trauma is what happens when the situation is unable to be escaped from or fought off, and this “energy” becomes trapped in the body. Emotional and mental trauma can have all kinds of physical effects, because it changes the brain on a chemical level. Too many to list here, but you can look into it. TRE is a way to activate this tremor response manually in order to get rid of the “energy” stuck in the body. ( I keep putting quotes around energy because this isn’t some spiritual bullshit, but the physical effects of adrenaline causing long term wear and tear to the body. But I have no better word) I know there are no words that can fully make you feel better, but I hope you feel like you’re not alone, and that you will be able to live more freely soon.

 

[DeformedDysgenicCel]

RIP to your dad bro, my condonlences

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

Shut up and let the guy grieve faggot.

What do u think im lying about

I just hate people who take other people's suffering as their own. Plus, why would you love your parents as an Incel it makes no sense

And I can assure you that OPs dad (and yours too) couldn't care less about how you guys are doing in life, I mean, they killed themselves with their self-destructive habits when they were alive and you think they cared back then? JFL

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

People who genuinely care about you are rare as fuck. You’ll meet maybe one or two in your life , and your father sounds like one of them.

He was always struggling with addiction so he was in and out of my life so I basically grew up without an adult male role model.

Yeah
sounds like he cared about his son

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

I know that would make Your Dad proud.

Guy was doing hard drugs when he was alive and you think he would care now that he's being eaten by maggots JFL

 

[StoryOfMyLaugh]

I forgot what my Dad was even doing when he died, but he was overall unremarkable as a Father and was pretty irresponsible with us, but i’m pretty sure he tried his best? I don’t think I cried once when at his funeral at a very young age. In some form I do think it’s instinctual to miss someone despite them being irresponsible, because I even feel like i’m doing something wrong by being real about how irresponsible he was.

I was genuinely more sad when my Grandfather had died because I had more useful advice from him and he at least have a semblance of responsibility, even when I was taking care of him and seen him deteriorate over 3 years before he passed. So overall I was forced into poverty and barely had any family alive by the time I was a Teenager, impacted my mental health back then but nobody gave a fuck unfortunately, lol

 

[sub3genecel]

I just hate people who take other people's suffering as their own. Plus, why would you love your parents as an Incel it makes no sense

And I can assure you that OPs dad (and yours too) couldn't care less about how you guys are doing in life, I mean, they killed themselves with their self-destructive habits when they were alive and you think they cared back then? JFL

Ur rage baiting there’s no way ur actually this retarded and think addiction is that easy to quit

 

[sub3genecel]

Guy was doing hard drugs when he was alive and you think he would care now that he's being eaten by maggots JFL

I hope you are able to find peace one day if you’re so miserable your hating on people grieving and making fun of addiction

 

[sub3genecel]

Shut up and let the guy grieve faggot.

And to OP: I can relate to you. My dad struggled with alcohol and Xanax addiction after he was prescribed it in the hospital after getting hit by a motorcycle. He was in and out of my life, even being homeless and going to prison at times. I miss him everyday, and although it doesn’t get “easier” ( in that the pain will always be there.) it can become more livable over time. There will be times when it flares up, like on holidays and such, but eventually you will be able to know in advance and sort of steel yourself ( not that it won’t still hurt, but still.) I would encourage you to go to his grave like you said, it may help you get closure, which isn’t a cure, but may help the restlessness of it. I would also like to recommend r/longtermtre on Reddit. ( yes I know Reddit is cringe, but this specific one is less bad) have you ever wondered why wild animals don’t get trauma despite being hunted and shit? It is because they use up all of the “energy” (for lack of a better word) through a tremor response. (Have you ever seen a dog shake during fireworks, for example?) trauma is what happens when the situation is unable to be escaped from or fought off, and this “energy” becomes trapped in the body. Emotional and mental trauma can have all kinds of physical effects, because it changes the brain on a chemical level. Too many to list here, but you can look into it. TRE is a way to activate this tremor response manually in order to get rid of the “energy” stuck in the body. ( I keep putting quotes around energy because this isn’t some spiritual bullshit, but the physical effects of adrenaline causing long term wear and tear to the body. But I have no better word) I know there are no words that can fully make you feel better, but I hope you feel like you’re not alone, and that you will be able to live more freely soon.

It’s hard to piece together when my father started doing drugs. His job was actually to help others with addiction but different people in my family think it started at different times like my mother believed he stole her pain meds after she gave birth to use but my uncle believes it started when I was like 3 after he hurt his back and got prescribed pills. I have come a long way since when he first died and I went to some therapy. I appreciate your Reddit recommendation I will check it out

 

[ravisk]

Me and my Dad have a love hate relationship. Lmao

 

[Chud Norris72]

 

[andrej]

RIP to your dad. Stay strong brocel

 

[andrej]

Guy was doing hard drugs when he was alive and you think he would care now that he's being eaten by maggots JFL

Heroin addiction sucks you can't quit it even if you want because it feels better than even fucking a virgin foid

 

[currycell900]

brootal mang sometimes i feel i refuse to acknowledge apart from being lucky with foids i am privileged in lot of spaces. more power and strength to you.

 

[Mr. Subhuman]

Kill your mum

 

[WastedPotential]

My dad died too recently, had the funeral today actually. u can send me a dm if u want to talk about it.

 

[Qrie]

My dad died 2 days before my 13th birthday and his birthday is coming up. He was found dead in his bed at a halfway home after battling with heroin addiction for most of my life. My life has been so painful since my parents divorced when I was 4. He was always struggling with addiction so he was in and out of my life so I basically grew up without an adult male role model. My family always likes to tell me stories about who he was and he sounds like such an amazing man. I remember crying to myself around the time I got my first car because I knew he would be proud of me and he was really into cars. I believe he would have understood and accept me for who I really am and my inability to get a girlfriend. I am considering going to his gravestone for his birthday on February 5 th this year because I have never felt strong enough to but I still don’t know if I am now. I just wish he was still here because based off my handfuls of memories of him and all the stories I heard of him I believe he would truly care about me unlike anyone else ever did. I’ve never felt like anyone would care if I told them my full story about him irl so I’m doing it anonymously online

Rip to your dad. Stay strong and go visit that gravestone. Won't lie saying that it's gonna be alright or some bs but I hope things turn out to be better for you. Heres a digital hug
*hugs*

 

[AutismHaver]

parents who divorce are all selfish, like seriously guys? it's not your life anymore, you have an obligation to your kids, but ig only your happiness matters now

 

[minimaltz]

RIP to your dad. Stay strong brocel