no pussy, no peace
- Feb 21, 2020
Do not even think about doing this unless you want immediate ropefuel. This is the suicidefuel that being a NEET leads to as your life passes you by. I graduated from high school almost six years ago and really have nothing to show for it since; meanwhile my peers went on to do bigger and better things. A couple of days ago I decided to break out my yearbook out of curiosity since I hadn't done so in a couple of years and preceded to look up my former peer's names on google. My high school was relatively small so it was easy to look up the majority of people. Since most people don't use their real name on social media, the names quickly led to most of my former classmates in the form of their linkdn/other online resume sites. People that I sat with that I know were objectively less intelligent (not some cliche incel feeling of grandiosity) passing me by in unimaginable ways. College degrees, study abroad, internships, working for big companies, going for a master's degree, you name it... That isn't even to mention the myriad of social experiences that I was able to find out about a decent amount of them. Relationships, parties, living on their own, etc.. I missed out on all of it. It wouldn't even be the same if I were to attain such things in the future. I'm completely dead inside. Not even in a depressed way at this point, just an indescribable feeling of resentment, rage/rancor, and severe envy simultaneously mixed together with numbness and apathy. I attended a very academically rigorous high school where I surpassed the majority of these people on tests and essays and when I didn't it was because I was severely depressed the entire time and could have excelled even further if that hadn't been the case. I've been a NEET for years now and this is what it leads to. I'm at a complete impasse and total loss for words. If you were not socialized properly during your formative years then you are completely fucked and will be playing catch-up for the rest of your life.