I was last online, I think, in May. That was because one day I was just chilling at home when my dad came in unannounced. I live alone, but he has keys to my apartment in case something happens. I was browsing this site and a few others while listening to music through my headphones. He walked into my room without me noticing and saw the huge “Incels.is” logo on the homepage. He has a rough idea of what an incel is. I guess he found out from the news or the nonsense they show on TV. Either way, I don’t resent my dad. If anything, he’s the person who has helped me the most throughout my life. He immediately asked me if I was an incel. He knows I don’t go out, that I’ve never had a girlfriend, and that I don’t have any friends. I guess he notices how insecure I am. I jokingly told him that I was, but he wasn’t joking. He was genuinely worried. He sat down and started talking to me, trying to cheer me up. We talked for about two hours. I told him everything, especially how lonely I am. After talking for a while longer, he gave me some motivation to start improving my life.
At first, I was excited. My symptoms had been getting worse, so the first thing I did was schedule an appointment with my psychiatrist. As always, she prescribed me some pills, and my symptoms came back under control. Then I forced myself to go out. I even considered going to the gym, but that was just too much. Instead, I started spending time in public places: parks, cafés, and similar spots. Not because I wanted someone to acknowledge my existence, but simply so I could get used to being in public for more than five minutes at a time. I did that four or five times a week, usually for about thirty minutes. The only interaction I got was from a homeless guy asking me for money. Funny. Regardless, nothing improved. I wasn’t feeling any better. Was I supposed to?
One day, I was buying Zyns as usual from my local 7-Eleven. It was busy that night, and I was standing in line when a filthy foid bumped into me. I got a little startled and looked at her. The expression of utter disgust and repulsion on her face when she saw mine was all I needed. I paid for my shit and went straight home.
After that, I stopped going out except to buy Zyns or junk food to eat alone at night while watching YouTube. I stayed like that for about two weeks. During that time, I kinda forgot about this forum. But tonight, while I was taking a shower, I realized that this is how I’m destined to live for the rest of my life. There’s no improvement. There’s no redemption. The only thing I have left is to moneymaxx, and if that doesn’t work, then I’ll just rope.
I have finally came across the realization that it’ll never get better and we were born to be alone.
At first, I was excited. My symptoms had been getting worse, so the first thing I did was schedule an appointment with my psychiatrist. As always, she prescribed me some pills, and my symptoms came back under control. Then I forced myself to go out. I even considered going to the gym, but that was just too much. Instead, I started spending time in public places: parks, cafés, and similar spots. Not because I wanted someone to acknowledge my existence, but simply so I could get used to being in public for more than five minutes at a time. I did that four or five times a week, usually for about thirty minutes. The only interaction I got was from a homeless guy asking me for money. Funny. Regardless, nothing improved. I wasn’t feeling any better. Was I supposed to?
One day, I was buying Zyns as usual from my local 7-Eleven. It was busy that night, and I was standing in line when a filthy foid bumped into me. I got a little startled and looked at her. The expression of utter disgust and repulsion on her face when she saw mine was all I needed. I paid for my shit and went straight home.
After that, I stopped going out except to buy Zyns or junk food to eat alone at night while watching YouTube. I stayed like that for about two weeks. During that time, I kinda forgot about this forum. But tonight, while I was taking a shower, I realized that this is how I’m destined to live for the rest of my life. There’s no improvement. There’s no redemption. The only thing I have left is to moneymaxx, and if that doesn’t work, then I’ll just rope.
I have finally came across the realization that it’ll never get better and we were born to be alone.
