Eternatus
I shall surrender to the darkness beneath me
★★★
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2024
- Posts
- 2,265
- Online time
- 19h 49m
I accept hypergamy, that’s ok, fine. Im not an apex male bull Chad breeder perfect bones coitus bot I wasn’t born that I never will. I accept dying a virgin and girls being repulsed by my ectomorph deformed kyphosis spine and ribcage build that’s totally fine for me I get them that’s they’re nature choose the best outcome the most fit for a better life the stronger genes it’s, perfect the way as it is, I don’t think this makes women inferior beings it’s just their complementary approach to civilization, fine, they have a responsibility and if u were born a girl you would have been picky and hypergamous too, the animal kingdom works this way, the life birther chooses who passes on the seed.
That said, not being worthy of one moment of soft intimacy, destroys me. I don’t even look for long term because that would be an absurd for the genetic dead end on legs I was made to be, but once, I hope for once in my whole lifetime to receive this type of care, even if its for 10 minutes, even if it’s forgettable and done out of pity, that would make my entire lifetime.
I wish somebody could hold me, that I could be looked at without all of this disgust, hatred, misery, misery that I didn’t choose, that I could be forgiven from the sin of my reflection, that I may be lifted from the shadows that have followed me relentlessly. So that the rigid math and ratios could show compassion over my imperfect self and seal a fraction of mercy for my soul. How hard can it be for a gentle hand to run through my hair, on my temples, to be hugged, to feel some warmth.
I always have in mind this girl from many years ago, I knew I was gonna be destined to fail, but my heart still hopes so much for her to have a realization, the residues of her softness would heal me, forever, because Im a stray dog born to be let down slowly, kept alive by yearning for a kindness I never got to know.
That said, not being worthy of one moment of soft intimacy, destroys me. I don’t even look for long term because that would be an absurd for the genetic dead end on legs I was made to be, but once, I hope for once in my whole lifetime to receive this type of care, even if its for 10 minutes, even if it’s forgettable and done out of pity, that would make my entire lifetime.
I wish somebody could hold me, that I could be looked at without all of this disgust, hatred, misery, misery that I didn’t choose, that I could be forgiven from the sin of my reflection, that I may be lifted from the shadows that have followed me relentlessly. So that the rigid math and ratios could show compassion over my imperfect self and seal a fraction of mercy for my soul. How hard can it be for a gentle hand to run through my hair, on my temples, to be hugged, to feel some warmth.
I always have in mind this girl from many years ago, I knew I was gonna be destined to fail, but my heart still hopes so much for her to have a realization, the residues of her softness would heal me, forever, because Im a stray dog born to be let down slowly, kept alive by yearning for a kindness I never got to know.
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