I went to my GP a few days ago to get anti-depressants. The doctor was this pretty women in her mid 30s with black hair. When I was talking about my adverse life experiences, she gave me reassuring affirmations with her comforting soft voice.
"I understand how difficult it must've been" she says. Despite this, I found it difficult to feel acknowledged.
Because I imagine her going back home and is getting her cheeks clapped by her husband or boyfriend to relief this stressful work day.
I often ask them "what were doing when you were my age". They'll usually say, oh "I was studying", "I went travelling in the summer" etc.
But I know it's not true. It really isn't. They were out partying, drinking in the pubs with their friends. Visiting different venues and hangouts in the city and making memorable memories.
How do these people not feel shame at all? To see another human being in despair and are self-aware of their own opportunities, experience and privilege. All they do is brush me aside with shitty charities and helplines! Oh just take these pills! Why why why why why.
I just want a sip of what they've experienced in their life. They know that. I even tell them that. And they give me nothing that will help me directly. I want to have friends, to fit in.
Do you guys get what I'm trying to say? Do you not see this bullshit. It's all gatekept.
"I understand how difficult it must've been" she says. Despite this, I found it difficult to feel acknowledged.
Because I imagine her going back home and is getting her cheeks clapped by her husband or boyfriend to relief this stressful work day.
I often ask them "what were doing when you were my age". They'll usually say, oh "I was studying", "I went travelling in the summer" etc.
But I know it's not true. It really isn't. They were out partying, drinking in the pubs with their friends. Visiting different venues and hangouts in the city and making memorable memories.
How do these people not feel shame at all? To see another human being in despair and are self-aware of their own opportunities, experience and privilege. All they do is brush me aside with shitty charities and helplines! Oh just take these pills! Why why why why why.
I just want a sip of what they've experienced in their life. They know that. I even tell them that. And they give me nothing that will help me directly. I want to have friends, to fit in.
Do you guys get what I'm trying to say? Do you not see this bullshit. It's all gatekept.
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