Masturbation is one of the only things that makes me happy, at least for a few seconds when I orgasm.
But after that, my mind is choosing to remind me that I'm in a cold room, alone, in the dark - with no one that actually loves me. No laughs, no cuddles, and no warm female touch.
I hate that feeling of regret, even though i never did anything wrong. I never hurt anyone right? But why do I feel so bad about myself? It's because your mind and body knows that you are faking it, sex is more than just orgasm as normies like to say. It's an indisputable validation that you are accepted and loved by someone else.
Even if you had a bad day, you know that you are going to be okay because you have someone looking out for you - that will get you release and frustration out of you. But if you are an incel, you return to an empty home. And those feelings of frustration and anger - aren't released. So you become bitter and depressed, day by day, this snowballs into depression, insomnia or other mental issues.
Your mind can only take so much abuse and neglect before somethings break, just like a car.
This is why I believe that no amount of self improvement will repair you mindset - you can't take a broken, autistic loner and transform him into a sigma CEO by doing pushups and taking leadership courses. It's like trying to duct tape a cracked cylinder head.
I don't know what the solution is, but sometimes what helps me is realizing that i can at least make decisions that won't turn my life from bad to worse. And, if I'm lucky, just a little easier to bear. But most of the time I'm just paralyzed to do anything. If you got this far, i wish you have a good and stable day.
But after that, my mind is choosing to remind me that I'm in a cold room, alone, in the dark - with no one that actually loves me. No laughs, no cuddles, and no warm female touch.
I hate that feeling of regret, even though i never did anything wrong. I never hurt anyone right? But why do I feel so bad about myself? It's because your mind and body knows that you are faking it, sex is more than just orgasm as normies like to say. It's an indisputable validation that you are accepted and loved by someone else.
Even if you had a bad day, you know that you are going to be okay because you have someone looking out for you - that will get you release and frustration out of you. But if you are an incel, you return to an empty home. And those feelings of frustration and anger - aren't released. So you become bitter and depressed, day by day, this snowballs into depression, insomnia or other mental issues.
Your mind can only take so much abuse and neglect before somethings break, just like a car.
This is why I believe that no amount of self improvement will repair you mindset - you can't take a broken, autistic loner and transform him into a sigma CEO by doing pushups and taking leadership courses. It's like trying to duct tape a cracked cylinder head.
I don't know what the solution is, but sometimes what helps me is realizing that i can at least make decisions that won't turn my life from bad to worse. And, if I'm lucky, just a little easier to bear. But most of the time I'm just paralyzed to do anything. If you got this far, i wish you have a good and stable day.
