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SuicideFuel I hate my porn addiction, I just want to be loved

TrueMFincel

TrueMFincel

מזל טוב
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Nov 28, 2025
Posts
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January 28, 2026
— trueMFincel



This morning, out of habit, I opened the same site again.
Not for pleasure. Never for that.
But to watch two souls pretend to connect,
to borrow the illusion of warmth,
just for a few minutes.


Because deep inside,
I’m convinced I will never live something like that.


I don’t crave bodies.
I crave presence.
A woman who would love me for who I truly am.
Who would stay.
Who would support me.
Who would choose me, without hesitation.


But today, something broke open.
As I scrolled, the weight became unbearable.
Sadness.
Anger.
Jealousy.
Longing.
All colliding at once.


And I collapsed onto the floor,
with nothing left but silence
and tears that wouldn’t stop.


In the end, this is just the story of a heart
still aching for real love,
still believing somewhere, quietly, that it might exist.
 
January 28, 2026
— trueMFincel



This morning, out of habit, I opened the same site again.
Not for pleasure. Never for that.
But to watch two souls pretend to connect,
to borrow the illusion of warmth,
just for a few minutes.


Because deep inside,
I’m convinced I will never live something like that.


I don’t crave bodies.
I crave presence.
A woman who would love me for who I truly am.
Who would stay.
Who would support me.
Who would choose me, without hesitation.


But today, something broke open.
As I scrolled, the weight became unbearable.
Sadness.
Anger.
Jealousy.
Longing.
All colliding at once.


And I collapsed onto the floor,
with nothing left but silence
and tears that wouldn’t stop.


In the end, this is just the story of a heart
still aching for real love,
still believing somewhere, quietly, that it might exist.
you'd be better off watching a romance for that lol, instead of just straight porn
 
The emotions found in romance works feel too cliché and even repulsive to me.
and porn has any emotions? Porn separates sex from its purpose, thus making it meaningless, find like a movie or something to watch. And besides you'll find far more comfort in accepting your never going to have that and instead doing things like being in nature and watching the sun and moon rise and set. trust me its far better when you accept that
 
and porn has any emotions? Porn separates sex from its purpose, thus making it meaningless, find like a movie or something to watch. And besides you'll find far more comfort in accepting your never going to have that and instead doing things like being in nature and watching the sun and moon rise and set. trust me its far better when you accept that
its soo ovER
 
Nofap helps refine hatred. Love doesn't exist. Contrary to popular belief, hatred is the closest thing to the concept we identify as "love". You have to know what hurts to know what helps. That's why "love" doesn't exist, at least not in a way tangible to you. Nobody loves anyone.

To me "love" is something that has an anti-death effect on me. So a foid can't do that. Love is asexual and defies physics and science, maybe it comes from the future. I don't associate it at all with hylics/breeders but rather when the heavens answer the cries of the lepers, eunuchs, and povers under the sorrowing yoke of the sarkic barbarians.
 

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