I went to a party today. I don’t go out—ever, really—but this guy, my mum’s friend’s son, goes to my school and said I should come to this party after we finished. He said there’d be alcohol and weed. I got excited. I’ve never done anything like that before. Never been to a party. My parents are strict—proper health freaks. Even now, at 18, they wouldn’t let me go to a party, even if there was no alcohol involved.
I walked three miles to his house so he could take me. The party was deep in the woods, middle of nowhere. When we got there, I ended up sitting by myself for hours, just waiting for something to happen. It was dark, and I planned to leave eventually—not stay all night. There were loads of girls there, all way out of my league. So I just sat up on a hill and stared at there tits from a distance, trying not to exist to disturb them
Then came the weed. I was hyped to try it—something new. I took a few puffs and felt nothing. Ended up taking nine. Still nothing. No high, no buzz, just me, still sitting there while everyone else laughed, talked, connected. People I’ve grown up around. I pulled out my phone, just to escape for a bit, and this guy goes, “Get off your phone, we’re at a party,” like I was the one ruining it.
It was a huge party, and I was just… there. No one noticed me. I got a text saying I needed to head back, so I told my “friend,” and he said, “20 more minutes, then we’ll go.” But when it was time to leave, he said he wasn’t going. Just like that. I thought about staying, but the moment I turned around, there was a couple making out on the trail. Felt like something out of a movie—one where I’m not the main character, just the guy walking away alone.
I tried finding my way back through the woods. It was pitch black. I got lost, stuck near rivers and trees with no clue where I was. There were these sketchy guys from earlier, probably gang members. Weird thing is, I wasn’t scared. Maybe the weed did do something. That was probably the only good part
Eventually, I stumbled out into some shity part of town. Had to call my mum to pick me up. while I was stressing about getting robbed
So yeah. I hate my life. I hate everyone. I had to sit through hours of silent humiliation, surrounded by people I couldn’t talk to, watching others live the life I’ll never have. The girls, the fun, the connection. I don’t get how people enjoy this I might write me in another post because I have so much to say
I walked three miles to his house so he could take me. The party was deep in the woods, middle of nowhere. When we got there, I ended up sitting by myself for hours, just waiting for something to happen. It was dark, and I planned to leave eventually—not stay all night. There were loads of girls there, all way out of my league. So I just sat up on a hill and stared at there tits from a distance, trying not to exist to disturb them
Then came the weed. I was hyped to try it—something new. I took a few puffs and felt nothing. Ended up taking nine. Still nothing. No high, no buzz, just me, still sitting there while everyone else laughed, talked, connected. People I’ve grown up around. I pulled out my phone, just to escape for a bit, and this guy goes, “Get off your phone, we’re at a party,” like I was the one ruining it.
It was a huge party, and I was just… there. No one noticed me. I got a text saying I needed to head back, so I told my “friend,” and he said, “20 more minutes, then we’ll go.” But when it was time to leave, he said he wasn’t going. Just like that. I thought about staying, but the moment I turned around, there was a couple making out on the trail. Felt like something out of a movie—one where I’m not the main character, just the guy walking away alone.
I tried finding my way back through the woods. It was pitch black. I got lost, stuck near rivers and trees with no clue where I was. There were these sketchy guys from earlier, probably gang members. Weird thing is, I wasn’t scared. Maybe the weed did do something. That was probably the only good part
Eventually, I stumbled out into some shity part of town. Had to call my mum to pick me up. while I was stressing about getting robbed
So yeah. I hate my life. I hate everyone. I had to sit through hours of silent humiliation, surrounded by people I couldn’t talk to, watching others live the life I’ll never have. The girls, the fun, the connection. I don’t get how people enjoy this I might write me in another post because I have so much to say
