I hate my life so much. It's like 80% suffering and 20% pleasure, which is a bad deal. Before I realized this, I thought life was valuable, and I was lucky to be alive, but when I realized that life is mostly suffering, it was like a Hiroshima Nagasaki blackpill. And any copes are just distractions from this fact, like a drug that temporarily reduces negative emotions. I realized that I would be better off dead. I frequently have thoughts of suicide, but I'm too scared of what will happen after. Humans also have a natural fear of death. So I will never commit suicide no matter how hard it gets. I'm stuck here, whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.
My parents said that suffering is a part of life, and I resent them for deciding to have me, but they also supported me, so it's like a love-hate relationship. The most likely reason they had me is because of pride (Pride can be bad). They wanted to continue their bloodline. When I was younger, I caught pneumonia. I do feel like the pneumonia was trying to save me from all this suffering I would experience later on. When I was a baby, I could have died peacefully from pneumonia because I didn't know what death meant back.
My parents said that suffering is a part of life, and I resent them for deciding to have me, but they also supported me, so it's like a love-hate relationship. The most likely reason they had me is because of pride (Pride can be bad). They wanted to continue their bloodline. When I was younger, I caught pneumonia. I do feel like the pneumonia was trying to save me from all this suffering I would experience later on. When I was a baby, I could have died peacefully from pneumonia because I didn't know what death meant back.
