I had a dream last night where I was venting to my friend (I do not have any friends in reality). I was telling him things were getting hard to bear. But he was fed up of my constant venting, and he tied a noose and hung it from the wall. He explained to me that if I was actually suicidal and not an attention seeker, I would hang myself. He then left the room to go talk to people outside the building.
I understood that I was being tested. It was very clear to me that I could not bear the shame of being outed as an attention seeker. I walked up to the noose, put my head through it, and tightened it. I began suffocating. To make the suffocation easier, I began counting the seconds so I could focus on something besides the asphyxiation, but time was moving very fast and I could only count upwards in terms of 2 seconds. My friend came back by 3 minutes and 30 seconds, but I had already lost consciousness at this point. He screamed for help, and multiple people came in the room to get me out of the noose. I then woke up in an hospital that evening with multiple people greeting me. They didn’t have sad faces though, they were smiling with glee. Then my dream ended.
My dream reminded me of this video I saw. A dipshit father hands his son a gun, telling him to fix his life or shoot himself. The son shoots himself dead, and the parents become hysterical. Why are people such dipshits and assholes when you are alive, but all of a sudden start caring when you are dead? It's worse than them not caring outright when you die, because they aren't emotionally blackmailing you to stay here.
I understood that I was being tested. It was very clear to me that I could not bear the shame of being outed as an attention seeker. I walked up to the noose, put my head through it, and tightened it. I began suffocating. To make the suffocation easier, I began counting the seconds so I could focus on something besides the asphyxiation, but time was moving very fast and I could only count upwards in terms of 2 seconds. My friend came back by 3 minutes and 30 seconds, but I had already lost consciousness at this point. He screamed for help, and multiple people came in the room to get me out of the noose. I then woke up in an hospital that evening with multiple people greeting me. They didn’t have sad faces though, they were smiling with glee. Then my dream ended.
My dream reminded me of this video I saw. A dipshit father hands his son a gun, telling him to fix his life or shoot himself. The son shoots himself dead, and the parents become hysterical. Why are people such dipshits and assholes when you are alive, but all of a sudden start caring when you are dead? It's worse than them not caring outright when you die, because they aren't emotionally blackmailing you to stay here.
