A
During my second year of high school, I started drinking alcohol in school to become more social and be able to talk to people. Especially girls. I have autism and social anxiety, so my social skills suck.
I did it by mixing vodka with sprite and putting it in a water bottle. I would hide it in my bag and bring it to school. I would often leave during math class and go to the toilet to drink it there. I always had about 2 dl of vodka and a lot of sprite to mask the taste of alcohol because I hated it. I’d finish it in about 10-15 minutes, and then I’d brush my teeth, chew gum and use a slight amount of body spray to hide the smell.
When I returned to class in about 10-15 minutes, I would be buzzed and sit quietly in class and observing everyone while being drunk. For those who are wondering why I was able to leave class for no reason, it’s because in my country in high school you are allowed to leave whenever you want without the teacher’s approval. However, it’d get you on the ”absence list”
However, my maths teacher was always chill and didn’t seem to notice or care that much. And when the lecture ended, it would be time for lunch. This is the time where I would approach girls in my class and talk to them. I would even sit with them during lunch. I had always wanted to talk to the girls in my class, but I was too shy and scared. But with alcohol, I was finally able to talk to them.
There was one particular guy and girl from another class who noticed I was drunk, but they didn’t really care to tell others. What’s important is that the teachers never noticed anything.
It was an amazing feeling, being drunk and able to talk to people. It became a regular thing where I’d do it two or even three times a week. I’d do it on days where I had long recess. However, I eventually stopped because it felt like shit. I was scared of damaging my body and health further. So that was the end of it. Or so I thought.
However, during my third (final) year of high school, I developed a huge crush for this girl who was a first year student. I found her Instagram, followed her and asked for her Snapchat through DM’s. She wrote ”sure” and gave me it. But this crush turned into an obsession.
At first, everything was going okay. We spoke a few times and stuff like that, but the conversations didn’t really go anywhere. I was too shy and unable to hold a conversation with her. These conversations gave me so much anxiety because they were short and useless. Every conversation basically went like this: ”hi, how are you? What lecture do you have now? Okay I have to go now, bye”.
One day I kinda snapped and decided that I wanted to start drinking alcohol again, even though I had promised myself that I wouldn’t do it again. My urge to be able to talk to her was so strong that I decided to get drunk in school again. So one day I took alcohol in a water bottle to school. This time it was whiskey instead of vodka, because vodka would sometimes make me throw up. I would mix it with coca cola and drink it before her lecture ended (I checked her schedule).
I would be drunk once their lecture was finished and it was now time for lunch. I joined her and her friends during lunch and she looked nervous. I went from not being able to talk, to suddenly having an amazing self confidence. After lunch, I gave her a box of chocolates as a gift. She became happy and said ”oh no that’s so kind of you but you didn’t have to do that”. I asked her out and she said she was busy this weekend but maybe another time.
Next week I got drunk again, same day and time. But this time their lecture was cancelled so they all went home. So I got drunk for no reason.
One day I walked up to her at the gym and like the typical autist I am, I told her I had a crush on her and she told me she liked someone else. So I basically got rejected. I got really sad and jealous so I decided to make one final move before letting go for real. I decided that I wanted to get revenge on her for rejecting me. I wanted to do this by singing a love song for her in front of her whole class.
One month later, I asked one of her teachers if I could enter his classroom during their math lecture to sing a song for her class. He said yes. But I knew I would never have the balls to do this, so I got drunk.
Once the teacher said yes, I locked myself in the toilet and drank alcohol that I had hidden in a water bottle. I got slightly too drunk. Normally I’d drink 2 dl of whiskey but this time I increased it to about 2.5 or 3 dl because I really wanted to make sure that I had the courage to sing in front of her whole class.
But before I did that, I decided to sing for a random substitute teacher in his office. He thought I did this because I wanted him to rate my voice, but in reality I did it to see if I was able to control my voice while being drunk. My voice was slightly shaky, but it was too late to back now.
I entered the classroom just at the end of their math lecture, and sang ”Thinking out loud” by Ed Sheeran. During the bridge of the song I took out a box of chocolates (again) but this time it was heart-shaped, and gave it to her. In front of her whole class. She was looking down the whole time and looked really uncomfortable. After the song ended, everyone clapped. After that, she blocked me on social media.
I planned this for a whole month and I’m extremely lucky that it worked. I’m lucky her teacher said yes and that he didn’t know that I had a crush on her. I basically lied to him that I was friends with her class, but in reality I barely knew any of them.
Aside from revenge, I also did it because I loved the attention that I got from doing stupid shit while being drunk. I wanted to embarrass her in front of her whole class because she rejected me. I got a lot of shit from the teachers and counselors after that incident. They basically banned me from ever approaching her again. The teachers, counselors and even her female friends told me exactly the same thing, that she felt offended by my actions. I basically traumatized her. She hates me now. Thanks for reading.
I did it by mixing vodka with sprite and putting it in a water bottle. I would hide it in my bag and bring it to school. I would often leave during math class and go to the toilet to drink it there. I always had about 2 dl of vodka and a lot of sprite to mask the taste of alcohol because I hated it. I’d finish it in about 10-15 minutes, and then I’d brush my teeth, chew gum and use a slight amount of body spray to hide the smell.
When I returned to class in about 10-15 minutes, I would be buzzed and sit quietly in class and observing everyone while being drunk. For those who are wondering why I was able to leave class for no reason, it’s because in my country in high school you are allowed to leave whenever you want without the teacher’s approval. However, it’d get you on the ”absence list”
However, my maths teacher was always chill and didn’t seem to notice or care that much. And when the lecture ended, it would be time for lunch. This is the time where I would approach girls in my class and talk to them. I would even sit with them during lunch. I had always wanted to talk to the girls in my class, but I was too shy and scared. But with alcohol, I was finally able to talk to them.
There was one particular guy and girl from another class who noticed I was drunk, but they didn’t really care to tell others. What’s important is that the teachers never noticed anything.
It was an amazing feeling, being drunk and able to talk to people. It became a regular thing where I’d do it two or even three times a week. I’d do it on days where I had long recess. However, I eventually stopped because it felt like shit. I was scared of damaging my body and health further. So that was the end of it. Or so I thought.
However, during my third (final) year of high school, I developed a huge crush for this girl who was a first year student. I found her Instagram, followed her and asked for her Snapchat through DM’s. She wrote ”sure” and gave me it. But this crush turned into an obsession.
At first, everything was going okay. We spoke a few times and stuff like that, but the conversations didn’t really go anywhere. I was too shy and unable to hold a conversation with her. These conversations gave me so much anxiety because they were short and useless. Every conversation basically went like this: ”hi, how are you? What lecture do you have now? Okay I have to go now, bye”.
One day I kinda snapped and decided that I wanted to start drinking alcohol again, even though I had promised myself that I wouldn’t do it again. My urge to be able to talk to her was so strong that I decided to get drunk in school again. So one day I took alcohol in a water bottle to school. This time it was whiskey instead of vodka, because vodka would sometimes make me throw up. I would mix it with coca cola and drink it before her lecture ended (I checked her schedule).
I would be drunk once their lecture was finished and it was now time for lunch. I joined her and her friends during lunch and she looked nervous. I went from not being able to talk, to suddenly having an amazing self confidence. After lunch, I gave her a box of chocolates as a gift. She became happy and said ”oh no that’s so kind of you but you didn’t have to do that”. I asked her out and she said she was busy this weekend but maybe another time.
Next week I got drunk again, same day and time. But this time their lecture was cancelled so they all went home. So I got drunk for no reason.
One day I walked up to her at the gym and like the typical autist I am, I told her I had a crush on her and she told me she liked someone else. So I basically got rejected. I got really sad and jealous so I decided to make one final move before letting go for real. I decided that I wanted to get revenge on her for rejecting me. I wanted to do this by singing a love song for her in front of her whole class.
One month later, I asked one of her teachers if I could enter his classroom during their math lecture to sing a song for her class. He said yes. But I knew I would never have the balls to do this, so I got drunk.
Once the teacher said yes, I locked myself in the toilet and drank alcohol that I had hidden in a water bottle. I got slightly too drunk. Normally I’d drink 2 dl of whiskey but this time I increased it to about 2.5 or 3 dl because I really wanted to make sure that I had the courage to sing in front of her whole class.
But before I did that, I decided to sing for a random substitute teacher in his office. He thought I did this because I wanted him to rate my voice, but in reality I did it to see if I was able to control my voice while being drunk. My voice was slightly shaky, but it was too late to back now.
I entered the classroom just at the end of their math lecture, and sang ”Thinking out loud” by Ed Sheeran. During the bridge of the song I took out a box of chocolates (again) but this time it was heart-shaped, and gave it to her. In front of her whole class. She was looking down the whole time and looked really uncomfortable. After the song ended, everyone clapped. After that, she blocked me on social media.
I planned this for a whole month and I’m extremely lucky that it worked. I’m lucky her teacher said yes and that he didn’t know that I had a crush on her. I basically lied to him that I was friends with her class, but in reality I barely knew any of them.
Aside from revenge, I also did it because I loved the attention that I got from doing stupid shit while being drunk. I wanted to embarrass her in front of her whole class because she rejected me. I got a lot of shit from the teachers and counselors after that incident. They basically banned me from ever approaching her again. The teachers, counselors and even her female friends told me exactly the same thing, that she felt offended by my actions. I basically traumatized her. She hates me now. Thanks for reading.
for some reason this was pretty nostalgic
