L
It's been more than 4 years since I've felt happiness. I live alone with no friends or family (I study in a different country), and I'm now in my final year. During these four years, my daily routine has been simply the same wake up, watch movies, play games (alone), occasionally study, order food, and sleep. I can't remember having a meaningful conversation with anyone in a long, long time (besides calling my parents), and in the past 2 years, I couldn't even go back to see them because I can't afford it and i dont want to get a job and interact with people. I tried really hard in the first month of university since I was desperate to make connections, but all that happened was me getting mocked, ridiculed, and most of the time, feeling invisible (anyone I would talk to would utter 2–3 words and tell me that they had to go). After that, I stopped talking and leaving my room, which led me to forget how to feel happy and think about how meaningless life is. The saddest part is I didn't want to worry my parents, so I would send them videos online of other people having fun and tell them that was me. I even photoshopped a picture of myself with random people. im really depressed andi want to know if anyone is in the same situation .
