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SuicideFuel I feel like I never truly existed

Meus

Meus

Banned
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Joined
Jan 13, 2021
Posts
7,501
Like I was born and already a non-entity.

Never had any dreams or desires, always just an observer who is fine with anything that might happen and doesn't really care.
 
i wish i was dead
 
extremely relatable, always felt like this too tho i had some dreams of being a game developer
 
Like I was born and already a non-entity.

Never had any dreams or desires, always just an observer who is fine with anything that might happen and doesn't really care.
We all wish.
In reality incels are subject to the whims of the society and government and are just as likely as anyone (if not more) to be made an example out of.
 
As a kid I was full of myself. I thought I was going to be a doctor and always saw myself as smarter and better than everyone else.

That didn't last long tho
 
Sometimes I even wonder if my personality is even genuine, like it's a construct of what I'm trying to be. I had to teach myself social skills at a young age just to barely fit in; I also think as a kid, my brain was mostly understimulated, because I didn't have a social life outside of school and my mom didn't allow me to watch tv or any other entertainment either, so I was exposed to the same shit everyday.
 
we are phantoms since we are genetically dead ends
our bodies exist but we were born to die
 
Same. I feel weird all the time, I cannot belive my existence it’s too bad to be true.
 
As a kid I was full of myself. I thought I was going to be a doctor and always saw myself as smarter and better than everyone else.

That didn't last long tho
You still can. Just learn to do riqyya .

Raqis make more money per session than actual doctors in my shithole .
 
Like I was born and already a non-entity.

Never had any dreams or desires, always just an observer who is fine with anything that might happen and doesn't really care.
Extremely relatable. I feel like I'm always watching a TV show of actors and actresses playing out life in front of me, I just go home after each session and turn off the TV. Back to my room. I hear people do things or having done things that seem incomprehensible to me. The very act of going to a party and taking a girl somewhere to fuck is incomprehensible to me. Going on a road trip to another state. Going to a club and dancing in public. Having sex in high school. Getting so drunk you just black out and can't remember anything (I've gotten drunk to passing out and throwing up hung over the next morning, never got so drunk I couldn't remember anything). None of this is comprehensible to me.

This, along with three other feelings:

1. My mind is never in the now; I'm always making plans for the future, what's next for the next 3-5 years of my life. I never stop to think about living in the moment, because life is always miserable in the moment.

2. I feel like a 13 year old stuck in a 20 something year old body, with the past decade or so just flown by. Nothing really happened to me to warrant change other than I guess I act more mature now and am more comfortable talking to people, but besides that, nothing. It's incomprehensible to me that I'm at the age I'm at. I feel like the entire world moved and I stood still.

3. I feel like I have giant invisible red markings on me that signify "poison" to people, and they stay away from me. In the same way that a bee can see markings on a flower where nectar is that we, as humans, aren't able to see, human beings see some kind of mark on me and just...stay away.
I have literally ripped apart my entire soul trying to find what within me is this "red mark," and I am unable to properly identify it. It might be my face...it might be my lack of life experience...it might be the fact that I come across as pompously intelligent (even though I'm not) unintentionally...it might be how serious I am as a person...I do not know.
 
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Mogs me, with tons of bad shit, I can say that I'm really existing.
 
As a kid I was full of myself. I thought I was going to be a doctor and always saw myself as smarter and better than everyone else.

That didn't last long tho
Stop lying! You are still full OF yourself! And FULL OF SHIT! No offense... Just saying... Keeping it real and all that.
Extremely relatable. I feel like I'm always watching a TV show of actors and actresses playing out life in front of me, I just go home after each session and turn off the TV. Back to my room. I hear people do things or having done things that seem incomprehensible to me. The very act of going to a party and taking a girl somewhere to fuck is incomprehensible to me. Going on a road trip to another state. Going to a club and dancing in public. Having sex in high school. Getting so drunk you just black out and can't remember anything (I've gotten drunk to passing out and throwing up hung over the next morning, never got so drunk I couldn't remember anything). None of this is comprehensible to me.

This, along with three other feelings:

1. My mind is never in the now; I'm always making plans for the future, what's next for the next 3-5 years of my life. I never stop to think about living in the moment, because life is always miserable in the moment.

2. I feel like a 13 year old stuck in a 20 something year old body, with the past decade or so just flown by. Nothing really happened to me to warrant change other than I guess I act more mature now and am more comfortable talking to people, but besides that, nothing. It's incomprehensible to me that I'm at the age I'm at. I feel like the entire world moved and I stood still.

3. I feel like I have giant invisible red markings on me that signify "poison" to people, and they stay away from me. In the same way that a bee can see markings on a flower where nectar is that we, as humans, aren't able to see, human beings see some kind of mark on me and just...stay away.
I have literally ripped apart my entire soul trying to find what within me is this "red mark," and I am unable to properly identify it. It might be my face...it might be my lack of life experience...it might be the fact that I come across as pompously intelligent (even though I'm not) unintentionally...it might be how serious I am as a person...I do not know.
1
I used to care about the future. Be a survivalist, gardener, plant trees...
But i can barely live in the now, now.
I wish i had a HAPPY past. But no.

2
Now i know why old dudes are so stubborn. It's because in our heads we are still young. But or bodies are crippled. I can barely fucking walk now. I don't even have HAPPY memories.

3 the red Mark.

THAT is a brutal thing. It's real. I think it's a aura thing. Where someone can see your DAMAGED SOUL and want to run away so theirs doesn't get damaged too.

They think we are infectious! But in fact our soul damage is the Easiest Thing In The World to fix. It just takes a few regular hugs and a bit of real love and caring. Not a goddamned meme of a dangling cat saying, "hang in there!" Or a fast pat on the back as you say out the side of your mouth in passing, "Cheer up bro! Have a good weekend!"
 
Stop lying! You are still full OF yourself! And FULL OF SHIT! No offense... Just saying... Keeping it real and all that.
You smell
 
You smell
Maybe it's from my lack if shower. Maybe it's FROM the pissbottle that fell on me and broke. Maybe its from all the corpses that my dog rolled around in then put on me via a doggie hug?
It might be from the shit still stuck to my ass because im not an ass wiping WEIRDO like you!
 
we are phantoms since we are genetically dead ends
our bodies exist but we were born to die
i wish i was dead

extremely relatable, always felt like this too tho i had some dreams of being a game developer

We all wish.
In reality incels are subject to the whims of the society and government and are just as likely as anyone (if not more) to be made an example out of.

As a kid I was full of myself. I thought I was going to be a doctor and always saw myself as smarter and better than everyone else.

That didn't last long tho

Sometimes I even wonder if my personality is even genuine, like it's a construct of what I'm trying to be. I had to teach myself social skills at a young age just to barely fit in; I also think as a kid, my brain was mostly understimulated, because I didn't have a social life outside of school and my mom didn't allow me to watch tv or any other entertainment either, so I was exposed to the same shit everyday.

Same. I feel weird all the time, I cannot belive my existence it’s too bad to be true.

You still can. Just learn to do riqyya .

Raqis make more money per session than actual doctors in my shithole .

Extremely relatable. I feel like I'm always watching a TV show of actors and actresses playing out life in front of me, I just go home after each session and turn off the TV. Back to my room. I hear people do things or having done things that seem incomprehensible to me. The very act of going to a party and taking a girl somewhere to fuck is incomprehensible to me. Going on a road trip to another state. Going to a club and dancing in public. Having sex in high school. Getting so drunk you just black out and can't remember anything (I've gotten drunk to passing out and throwing up hung over the next morning, never got so drunk I couldn't remember anything). None of this is comprehensible to me.

This, along with three other feelings:

1. My mind is never in the now; I'm always making plans for the future, what's next for the next 3-5 years of my life. I never stop to think about living in the moment, because life is always miserable in the moment.

2. I feel like a 13 year old stuck in a 20 something year old body, with the past decade or so just flown by. Nothing really happened to me to warrant change other than I guess I act more mature now and am more comfortable talking to people, but besides that, nothing. It's incomprehensible to me that I'm at the age I'm at. I feel like the entire world moved and I stood still.

3. I feel like I have giant invisible red markings on me that signify "poison" to people, and they stay away from me. In the same way that a bee can see markings on a flower where nectar is that we, as humans, aren't able to see, human beings see some kind of mark on me and just...stay away.
I have literally ripped apart my entire soul trying to find what within me is this "red mark," and I am unable to properly identify it. It might be my face...it might be my lack of life experience...it might be the fact that I come across as pompously intelligent (even though I'm not) unintentionally...it might be how serious I am as a person...I do not know.

Mogs me, with tons of bad shit, I can say that I'm really existing.

You smell

Maybe it's from my lack if shower. Maybe it's FROM the pissbottle that fell on me and broke. Maybe its from all the corpses that my dog rolled around in then put on me via a doggie hug?
It might be from the shit still stuck to my ass because im not an ass wiping WEIRDO like you!
Omae wa Mu Shinderu.
We are already Dead.
We are nothing more than just dead men walking, We never will reproduce, never have kids, a legacy, or even any memories of our existence, We will be forgotten and washed away by the tides of History.
Indeed, We are already dead.
 
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my mom didn't allow me to watch tv or any other entertainment either, so I was exposed to the same shit everyday.
What was that like? My parents were pretty negligent and basically gave me unfettered media access from a young age, so your experience is pretty alien to me.
 
What was that like? My parents were pretty negligent and basically gave me unfettered media access from a young age, so your experience is pretty alien to me.
I just remember reading the same books over and over again or playing with my younger brother, or sometimes I would just do homework.
 

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