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I feel completely trapped

Caesercel

Caesercel

Take a look to the sky just before you die.
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Jun 14, 2020
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I feel trapped in this body. This reality that I'm living. This exceedingly mediocre world and all its trappings. I feel trapped by fate , by genetics, by biology.

But moreover I feel trapped by my past, by the various failings which may or may not guided by will.

The biggest trap is of course this life itself. There's no escaping it's reality. That this is all there is. Be a human, live a human, die a human. The very phenomenal world that exists inside this head. The inner world completely driven by forces outside one's control much like the outer world. Can one never be anything more than the sum it's internal and external parts? Is there really no soul?

What's even funny is that even my contemplation and feeling of entrapment is still a part of the illusion, the matrix. There really is nothing outside this. No escape

 
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That's why I like sleeping, so I can temporarily switch off from it all.
 
Bro, you’re overthinking yourself into a corner. All this “trapped by fate” and “no escape” talk is just you feeding the same beast you claim to hate. You’re stuck in your own head, convinced the script is written and you’re just playing along like a cog in some cosmic machine. But here’s the kicker—if life’s a trap, then the only freedom you’ve got is choosing how you deal with it. You can sit here spiraling about the "illusion," or you can break the loop and do something.

You wanna talk about being more than the sum of your parts? That’s on you. Soul or no soul, you decide what you make of the cards you’ve been dealt. The system sucks, biology sucks, yeah, yeah, we all know. But complaining about it changes nothing. Stop chasing the idea of “escape” and start focusing on what you can actually control, even if it’s just the tiniest thing.
 
you can break the loop and do something.
Except everything one does is still bound by this cage of existence. I can become a trillion with a new chick every night and the reality of the human condition still won't change. I would still be a product of things around me
 
How do you get to 1500 elo
Memorise openings and hope for opponent to make mistake in middle game.

I got extremely lucky to reach 1500. I don't play chess anymore. My elo always remained around 1100-1200 in rapid and 900-1000 in blitz
 

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