I have to say I’m new to all of this, and I honestly don’t know where to go to talk about this. So bare with me as I try to communicate all the nitty-gritty details of my circumstance.
To give some background: I’m a twenty-six year old with no romantic experience to speak of. I’ve always suffered from a horrible metabolism, leading me to be highly overweight. Couple that with a horrible speach-impediment and it’s easy to see why most women would not find me an enthralling romantic partner to say the least.
The icing on this disgustingly fucked cake is my infatuation with horror and slasher-films. Every woman I’ve come across has looked at my interest in my midnight walks in the woods with my horror interest as a huge ominous RED FLAG.
Why I’m here is not to bitch and complain about my physical appearance and personality. I want to know:what did I do wrong?
Several months ago while I worked at a grocery store I befriended a woman who I will be calling Erika. Erika was a 9/10 tall chick with porcelain skin and short dark hair. Since I’m a bagboy and she was a clerk, I would usually bag for her. When I first met her, she seemed anxious and unnerved. I did something I never did before and tried talking to her, and it actually worked. I made nihilistic jokes about our jobs, and I was able to not stumble on my words like I usually do.
She actually found them funny and actually gave a fuck about what I had to say. Months pass and she would actively seek me out in the break room and talk to me. Turns out she had a huge infatuation with horror films, and loves spooky shit. I developed a crush over her, and I discover she’s actually engaged.
I try doing the right thing and just remain friends. Time passes, and she actually want to hang outside of work. First time we hang out: she trusts me so much she actually goes walking in the woods with me in the dead of night. Hours in to our excursion I realize I’m talking about my favorite book: Frankenstein, and she’s not telling me to shut my stuttering mouth. She then gets a call from her fiancé. She seems distressed and saddened by his phone call “yeah I’m safe. Everything’s fine...” she closes up the phone saying we need to go home. We make the treck back to the open road and part ways.
We meet again and again and I discover her drinking problem. I try my best to support her as a helping friend, but it gets worse and worse. She tells me that the only time she can drink is outside the house. Because if her fiancé found out: he’d kick her out.
Then one night she texts me plastered, saying I don’t really know her. I tell her that “if I don’t know the real you, I’d like to understand the real you.” I meet her down town leaning up against a stop sign laughing hysterically. I tell her that I can bring her somewhere where she can sober up. She insists we visit the harbor. All the while the winds howling like a bitch. It’s so fucking cold, and she leans on me for support. It felt like electricity being that close to somebody who I actually gave a fuck about. We sit at the harbor for some time and she smiles at me saying “you hear that sound?” She gestures as the wind is howling off the open ocean. “You remind me of it. It’s a dark, beautiful, and pure sound.” I didn’t know what to say to that, so we sat in awkward silence whilst the wind tore through the docks.
Since she was still drunk and I couldn’t take her home, I walked her over to my house. I don’t have a car so it was a good 30min before we got home. She sat down and joked about how hungry she was. Looking in the pantry I realize I had no food. Freaking out I ordered a taxi and brought back food from the grocery store. When I came back she smiled at me in a way that a woman never even dared look at me before. She said “I really have a thing for you.”
“Your drunk” I told her. “You don’t know what you are saying.” Then she gets very emotional and says “the only way I can admit anything like this is when I’m drunk!” Then all form of restraint went out the window. We sat down in my bed. No sex. No touching. Just being close to one another until the sun came up.
Then she says “I don’t know what will become of us now.” She leaves.
She won’t even look at me anymore, or even talk to me. I don’t know what I did wrong. The one time anything remotely romantic comes my way and I fucked it up.
What did I do wrong?
To give some background: I’m a twenty-six year old with no romantic experience to speak of. I’ve always suffered from a horrible metabolism, leading me to be highly overweight. Couple that with a horrible speach-impediment and it’s easy to see why most women would not find me an enthralling romantic partner to say the least.
The icing on this disgustingly fucked cake is my infatuation with horror and slasher-films. Every woman I’ve come across has looked at my interest in my midnight walks in the woods with my horror interest as a huge ominous RED FLAG.
Why I’m here is not to bitch and complain about my physical appearance and personality. I want to know:what did I do wrong?
Several months ago while I worked at a grocery store I befriended a woman who I will be calling Erika. Erika was a 9/10 tall chick with porcelain skin and short dark hair. Since I’m a bagboy and she was a clerk, I would usually bag for her. When I first met her, she seemed anxious and unnerved. I did something I never did before and tried talking to her, and it actually worked. I made nihilistic jokes about our jobs, and I was able to not stumble on my words like I usually do.
She actually found them funny and actually gave a fuck about what I had to say. Months pass and she would actively seek me out in the break room and talk to me. Turns out she had a huge infatuation with horror films, and loves spooky shit. I developed a crush over her, and I discover she’s actually engaged.
I try doing the right thing and just remain friends. Time passes, and she actually want to hang outside of work. First time we hang out: she trusts me so much she actually goes walking in the woods with me in the dead of night. Hours in to our excursion I realize I’m talking about my favorite book: Frankenstein, and she’s not telling me to shut my stuttering mouth. She then gets a call from her fiancé. She seems distressed and saddened by his phone call “yeah I’m safe. Everything’s fine...” she closes up the phone saying we need to go home. We make the treck back to the open road and part ways.
We meet again and again and I discover her drinking problem. I try my best to support her as a helping friend, but it gets worse and worse. She tells me that the only time she can drink is outside the house. Because if her fiancé found out: he’d kick her out.
Then one night she texts me plastered, saying I don’t really know her. I tell her that “if I don’t know the real you, I’d like to understand the real you.” I meet her down town leaning up against a stop sign laughing hysterically. I tell her that I can bring her somewhere where she can sober up. She insists we visit the harbor. All the while the winds howling like a bitch. It’s so fucking cold, and she leans on me for support. It felt like electricity being that close to somebody who I actually gave a fuck about. We sit at the harbor for some time and she smiles at me saying “you hear that sound?” She gestures as the wind is howling off the open ocean. “You remind me of it. It’s a dark, beautiful, and pure sound.” I didn’t know what to say to that, so we sat in awkward silence whilst the wind tore through the docks.
Since she was still drunk and I couldn’t take her home, I walked her over to my house. I don’t have a car so it was a good 30min before we got home. She sat down and joked about how hungry she was. Looking in the pantry I realize I had no food. Freaking out I ordered a taxi and brought back food from the grocery store. When I came back she smiled at me in a way that a woman never even dared look at me before. She said “I really have a thing for you.”
“Your drunk” I told her. “You don’t know what you are saying.” Then she gets very emotional and says “the only way I can admit anything like this is when I’m drunk!” Then all form of restraint went out the window. We sat down in my bed. No sex. No touching. Just being close to one another until the sun came up.
Then she says “I don’t know what will become of us now.” She leaves.
She won’t even look at me anymore, or even talk to me. I don’t know what I did wrong. The one time anything remotely romantic comes my way and I fucked it up.
What did I do wrong?
