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I Debased Myself Today, For Nothing

tulasdanslos

tulasdanslos

East though, they heading to the East
★★★
Joined
May 30, 2018
Posts
4,761
Fuck, where do I even begin with this madness?

I began this day very optimistic and full of hope. "This is it" I thought. "This is the day I speak about my feelings with my beloved".

I think an aseptic retelling of how my day went will be the best approach.

I went to school. It's not a regular school, mind you, I'm 25 yo, it's an adult school for disabled people. With that out of the way, I went to classes and only one thing changed. I talked to my teacher that I wanted to have a 1 on 1 conversation about an "existential question" after class ended. I wasn't wrong back then. Had I asked her out PROPERLY, it would have been an existential question indeed.

The redpill reared its ugly head. "Fuck. I'm definitely not going to be alone in the room with her when I ask her out, that's just a recipe for disaster" I cogitated. Around recess, I find the admin side of business guy. I ask him upfront: "Are you okay with being in a second hand embarrassment situation?"

If I wasn't an aspie, I would have backed down at this step; the guy was obviously concerned, he had EVERY right to be concerned about this, but I pushed on.
-"What, like are you embarrassed at the school or something?"
"No," I answered, "this has nothing to do with class".
He asked me a few more questions and I had him on board. Big fucking mistake.

Recess ended and it was back to the boring class. It's about a subject I have some degree of mastery in, or at least on the material shown so far, so it's boring. I make a conscious effort to participate, as I have every day since the beginning. I should have skipped this part of the story, but sunken cost fallacy so here it stays, lmao.

Finally, the moment of truth came. Everyone was leaving except for a few stragglers who were asking questions to said admin guy, my teacher, and me. I was so nervous I did a "pulse check": held out my hand in a 180 degree angle (in human, I made a palm) and checked for any movement. I twitched once or twice.

Once every student left, it was the admin guy, my beloved and me.

I prefaced my request with an attempt at a joke.

"Heh, at least two people will have an anecdote to tell about today".

I fumbled it so hard, nobody laughed nor smirked, they took it seriously and even I could tell they were somewhat startled.
Convo guide
· admin guy
+ my beloved teacher
- me

·"So what were you going to tell us?"
-"I'll cut straight to the chase. (Teacher name), what's your marital status?"
+"Why are you asking me this?"
-"Because I fancy you"
·"Sorry, I didn't catch that. You what to her?"
-"I fancy her"

*Cue long, awkward explanation about how teachers and students can't mingle, even if there's interest (over for me, implying there wasn't)*

·"You've been very brave to come forward with this, but it's not appropriate in this context"
+"Even in other contexts we expect you to navigate, such as rules in a company, this kind of thing is not possible"
-*dying inside*"OK, I'll just talk to you about school curriculum from now on"
·"Still, we have resources to help people like you, such as psychologists, coaches on work, etc etc" :soy::soy::soy:
·"I hope everything has been made clear. However, I have to thank you for your bravery, since if more people were like you, the world would be a better place" wtf this guy is an antinatalist? cringe

I say goodbye and head out the school. On my commute, it hits me.
"What have I done? Even if my words had an infinitesimal chance of having got through to her, the presence of the guy cockblocks me in 100% of the simulations! He couldn't have just let me hit on her because that's unethical!"

So yeah, Today I Learned I deserve to be alone, because I'm a duplicitous, scheming, malevolent cunt more akin to a foid than a man. Hence the title.

I could talk for hours about how this whole situation is fucked up. How it was akin to a Satanic ritual, by inverting a marriage, (man, woman and faggot[admin guy is a faggot] as opposed to man, woman and priest), how I didn't feel anything after the rejection except a grip on my chest, etc. But this thread is mega long as it is, so I won't bother.
 
You actually got the school admin to come with you to ask your own teacher out, not even knowing if she was married? :feelsugh:

JFL, low inhibs me to hell and back; I could never see the point of doing that, especially if subhuman, there was no way she was going to say "yes" to a mentally disabled sub 5 at all, even if you took a less cringeworthy approach. :smonk:
 
Why do you go to an adult school for people with disabilities? What kind of disability do you have?
 
You actually got the school admin to come with you to ask your own teacher out, not even knowing if she was married? :feelsugh:

JFL, low inhibs me to hell and back; I could never see the point of doing that, especially if subhuman, there was no way she was going to say "yes" to a mentally disabled sub 5 at all, even if you took a less cringeworthy approach. :smonk:
Thank you for the kind words I guess.
Why do you go to an adult school for people with disabilities? What kind of disability do you have?
I'm autistic.
 
I'm autistic.

I’m sorry dude, unless you’re at least chadlite, nevER began if you have autism

Asking out a woman is something you should do in private without others being present

asking a third-person to be there while you ask out a woman shows a lack of masculinity and confidence, but also shows that you don’t understand social norms which is a major indicator of your autism
 
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This has to be a larp, no way you asked your teacher out :feelswhat: man thought he was adolf rizzler for a second
 
This has to be a larp, no way you asked your teacher out :feelswhat: man thought he was adolf rizzler for a second
She's angelic, think Ana de Armas with a better body, like bigger boobs and taller. I must be insane to have asked her out, she's Stacy.
 
She's angelic, think Ana de Armas with a better body, like bigger boobs and taller. I must be insane to have asked her out, she's Stacy.
Welp sorry that this happened to you if it's true. Not all of our lives can be like a porn plot sadly...
 
You're really brave, but i don't think this "love" of yours is really that important. We usually are such shallow creatures, how can you love someone you don't know at all? You just know her working persona, she may be sucking a 40cm niggers cock after class and then kissing you on the cheek the day after.

I must say that you're really really braver than most people, also the fuck about having an admin guy? lol imagine adding 9000% of stress more just because you could, props to that.
 
You're really brave, but i don't think this "love" of yours is really that important. We usually are such shallow creatures, how can you love someone you don't know at all? You just know her working persona, she may be sucking a 40cm niggers cock after class and then kissing you on the cheek the day after.

I must say that you're really really braver than most people, also the fuck about having an admin guy? lol imagine adding 9000% of stress more just because you could, props to that.
Thank you for the compliment brocel!

I dunno, she just has a bubbly personality. Always positive vibes, shows some convoluted method to do stuff in the software then when confronted with the easy way, says everyone has their own way kek... I won't hold this against her because she really is genetic elite and I'm the opposite, but I'd be lying if I said it won't sting tomorrow.
 
Thank you for the compliment brocel!

I dunno, she just has a bubbly personality. Always positive vibes, shows some convoluted method to do stuff in the software then when confronted with the easy way, says everyone has their own way kek... I won't hold this against her because she really is genetic elite and I'm the opposite, but I'd be lying if I said it won't sting tomorrow.
You can't control how you look and it has a really big impact on how your life turns out to be. It's not your fault. It's shitty but it is what it is. I also have a ton of good looking female coworkers and i know i have a negative chance of getting with any of them.

It's just how life is, we have to ignore certain thing to focus on things we can achieve
 
ngl youre braver than me. At least u put in the effort
 
·"Still, we have resources to help people like you, such as psychologists, coaches on work, etc etc"

I may be reading way too much into this but if that's really what you have been told just after confessing to her that's incredibly mean spirited towards you. Offering you help in form of psychologists, etc. moments after you confessed...

Anyway you certainly got more balls than I'd ever have confessing to her with that other guy in the room. Respect.
 
Flowers for Aligernon feels
 
Larpforaliving
 
You never stood a chance as a disabled guy in adult education hitting on a teacher, you're seen as children.
If you looked like a superchad she would of sucked you off in secret before you knew what was up.

That dude was always gonna cockblock you too.

I will also add that there being support like psychologists is basically saying you're crazy for asking her out, how is that crazy?

I'm sick of "professionals" & normies asking questions like they genuinely don't understand such as "why are so many autistic males not in relationships" then they think it's due to us not wanting them lol. They think we can just go make that happen if we choose to.
 
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That was very brave, even if extremely stupid. But yeah, she wouldn't go out with you. She's there to do a job, which is to teach and take care of you.

Next time will be easier to ask a girl out and you won't have a guy cockblocking you. You should take that psychology help.
 

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