Venting I can't do this anymore.

[Internalizzz]

No matter what hobby I take up, what activity I do, what "positive mindset" I try to have, it all seems benign when compared to the astronomical problem which lies inside me, I am perpetually depressed, occasionally borderline suicidal, and suffer from lack of sleep, I've tried everything, gymmaxxing, running, sports, staying healthy, taking serotonin supplements, st john's wort, you name it, I can't seem to find a single redeeming reason to even keep moving forward, everything in the upcoming ears seems solemnly bleak.

There's just something so pessimistic about this way of thinking, I know I shouldn't have it, I should feel different, but I can't seem to connect the dots in my head to be able to overcome this.

I'm tired of this shit, I can't anymore, I'm currently just wasting my days studying, lifting until my arms hurt, to try and achieve what was predetermined to be denied to me since birth: a relationship and happiness. It sucks, I'm working a dead ass end minimum wage job which I don't even feel comfortable or succeeded with, I literally have no one in my family close to me, no one I can talk to, no one to reassess or reassure me, to tell me it's gonna be alright in the end, it all seems so empty, I wake up dreading the day and wishing I could fall back asleep until I literally have to pour cold water on my face to fully wake myself up. Force myself to shower and get dressed, force myself to put on a jacket to go run, etc.

I just can't, seeing all the other guys my age with happy relationships they take for granted, something which was just given and achievable to them from the natural flow of life, something that came perpetual and natural. it kills me inside and will probably also outside as well

Fuck this clown world.

 

[Blackcel rigth wing]

I understand way your coming from brocel and to be honest I can’t help and no one can help me or anyone one on this site with having a relationship.

I’ll rather hookercel when I moneymax, relationships always fail anyway eventually, too much headache.

 

[Internalizzz]

I understand way your coming from brocel and to be honest I can’t help and no one can help me or anyone one on this site with having a relationship.

I’ll rather hookercel when I moneymax, relationships always fail anyway eventually, too much headache.

Honestly bro same here, my only motivation nowadays is at least in making some basic fundamental degree of income which I can use to further pursue things that might bring in a relationship.

 

[starcrapoo]

Do what works for you, keep looking.

As for me, I really like world of warcraft. I just like mindlessly spending several hours or more a day on grinding endlessly. I can think about things and just quietly snide at normies and thinking about the gradual destruction of America.

I also really like cats. I have extreme anxiety and its like they can read my mind and come up to me when I'm having an episode. Usually they just want my body warmth but sometimes they just like to cuddle.

I also love watching the news whether that be mainstream or alternative. I love seeing evidence year by year of this degenerate rotten society currently falling in a uncontrollable death spiral. It is just so plain foul. Sadly not a lot of people realize how doomed America is but I certainly do. The demographic trends, culture, etc... This country is rotting and I love it. They get what they damn deserve.

Those are my major copes for now.

Minor ones would be alcohol, cigarettes, and escortmaxxing.