Runt171
Trapped in a pre determined hell
★★
- Joined
- May 9, 2024
- Posts
- 5,166
Ive had so many times I was betrayed by friends in my life
I still have a couple friends now but they were the ones who stayed with me through all this shit and I still cant fully enjoy spending time with them because
being betrayed so many times made me extremely paranoid about being abandoned or secretly bullied behind my back and shit like that
Even when my friends will do the slightest thing like saying they are going to work Im paranoid about them lying to me and betraying me somehow or meeting other friends behind my back
I have very bad trust issues now that I never had before I was 15
I remember being so trusting towards the “friends” I had and their betrayal ruined my brain
The constant stress from the ups and downs of being paranoid and untrusting are brutal
I will go from being happy these people are my friends to thinking that they hate me
I think even after all the abuse in my childhood this is the thing that made me break and really start to hate people
Ill give a few storys
When I was still in school
me and my “friend” did some dumb shit that I wont go into and He was going to be kicked out of school by himself as I was never caught
I thought that he wouldnt be able to cope in another school on his own because he had aspergers and I thought he would end up being bullied
so I owned up to my part in what we did
At the time I didnt realise that we would be split up so we ended up going to two different schools
He was very quickly put into a new school
He ended up making friends easily But I had to spend a year in a pru school filled with thugmaxxers Who bullied me constantly
After that I was transfered to a few other schools and I was treated like shit in every one I went to and never felt comfortable again like I did in the school I was kicked out of
He knew why I did this and that I was trying to be a good friend but he never thanked me for It or valued me as a real friend despite knowing that this completely ruined my life
After we were kicked out of school I stayed friends with him for years Because he was still friends with other people in my group
This is another story that involves him if you are interested
This story is when I genuinely realised it was over for me and lost hope in my life
Things like This in my life is what proved to me that personality doesn’t mean shit
I had showed loyalty to my friend and went out of my way to show kindness to try and help him and yet he didnt even give me basic respect for any of this
Arent these good personality traits??
yet They didnt help me at all in life
I have always been loyal to anyone I view as a friend and most of the time It has never helped me
You'd think that these days where most people are selfish and out for themselves that people would value genuinely loyal people but just because I am subhuman they dont care
Another time I can remember I was meant to be meeting this same guy his cousin and my other friend
My other friend called me and said to meet at his house and I told him I would have to walk because My mum was at work and couldn't drive me there
I then had to walk from my house to his
He knew that I had bad anxiety and that this would be horrible for me
After an hour or so I finally got to his house and knocked on the door
No answer
I knock a couple more times and then realise no one is in
Im thinking maybe they went to the shop to buy some food or something so I call them to see whats going on
Im walking around his garden because normally I was welcomed by his family in their house so I didnt think it would be a problem and I didnt want to sit out in the street because people were walking by constantly
He picks up the video call
I see all of their faces underneath some trees looking down at the camera
I can picture this so vividly as this moment was the start of the downfall of my life
“Where are you what are you doing “ I said
“Are you at my house” he said
“Yeah”
“Get the fuck out of my house and fuck off”
He starts laughing with the other guys cousin but my other “friend” doenst laugh
Maybe he felt bad idk
I felt a pit drop in my stomach and I felt sick
I hate this feeling so much Ive exprienced it so many times the feeling you get when You know you are not valued and you know that you are just subhuman trash
I felt angry sad and confused I didnt know why they had done this to me I had done nothing wrong
I had walked all that way and suffered for nothing and now I had to do it all again just to go home
I wasn't expecting this because up to this point nothing like this had never happened to me and we had been good friends as far as I knew for a year
The brutal thing is I stayed “friends” with these people for years after this because I was scared of being alone
Later on another cunt joined the group and he brutally bullied me pretty much every time we met
Sometimes he would treat me normally so every time before we met I would just hope that He wouldnt bully me that day and that I could just be treated like a normal human like everyone else but most of the time I wouldnt be
There was no way I could defend myself or make him stop because this guy was way stronger then me
I tried to defend myself against him one time but He just overpowered me to show me could beat my ass if he wanted to
This went on for a year and a half and It was pretty much the only socialising I could get so I would always meet them
Everyday I would be picked on and I was the only one in the group this happened to
I remember one time He dared me to burn a cigarette on my hand and I did it to try and prove myself to him because I thought he would stop bullying me if I did
He forced the lit cigarette into my palm and I just remember staring at him in the eyes while It happened and it barely even hurt
It felt good to see how disappointed he was that I wasnt in pain
Im not sure how this didnt hurt because normally my pain tolerance is terrible but its like my pain went away just to spite him
Im guessing he didnt push it in that hard though because It never scarred my hand or anything but it still felt good just to spite him
Theres so many other stories that I can’t remember Well from this time but Pretty much everyday there was another brutal experience
After this Ive never been able to trust anyone fully again
There is always apart of me that thinks they are just using me for whatever reason or bullying me behind my back and That will never go away
My brain has been completely ruined by people from the abuse I suffered as a kid to the way all the fucking people in my life have treated me
Society will say that all you need to do to get a good social life is have a good personality obviously this isnt true and even if it was
how is that even fucking possible after experiencing things like this
Normal people never have to suffer through the experiences that we do they could never understand
The friends I have now are the only ones that didn't treat me like shit and treated me normally but I still cant fully trust them because Of how fucked my brain is now
Its strange to think about how pathetic of a person I used to be compared to now
Im not saying that Im a strong confident guy now but I would never put up with any of this shit now
but back then I was just a lonely dumb subhuman kid
I wish the worst on all the people that treated me like shit and all the people that have abused members of this site
This will never happen realistically though because this world rewards Evil people
I saw that mf that bullied me recently and He is living a good life while Ive been questioning killing myself everyday For months now
I still have a couple friends now but they were the ones who stayed with me through all this shit and I still cant fully enjoy spending time with them because
being betrayed so many times made me extremely paranoid about being abandoned or secretly bullied behind my back and shit like that
Even when my friends will do the slightest thing like saying they are going to work Im paranoid about them lying to me and betraying me somehow or meeting other friends behind my back
I have very bad trust issues now that I never had before I was 15
I remember being so trusting towards the “friends” I had and their betrayal ruined my brain
The constant stress from the ups and downs of being paranoid and untrusting are brutal
I will go from being happy these people are my friends to thinking that they hate me
I think even after all the abuse in my childhood this is the thing that made me break and really start to hate people
Ill give a few storys
When I was still in school
me and my “friend” did some dumb shit that I wont go into and He was going to be kicked out of school by himself as I was never caught
I thought that he wouldnt be able to cope in another school on his own because he had aspergers and I thought he would end up being bullied
so I owned up to my part in what we did
At the time I didnt realise that we would be split up so we ended up going to two different schools
He was very quickly put into a new school
He ended up making friends easily But I had to spend a year in a pru school filled with thugmaxxers Who bullied me constantly
After that I was transfered to a few other schools and I was treated like shit in every one I went to and never felt comfortable again like I did in the school I was kicked out of
He knew why I did this and that I was trying to be a good friend but he never thanked me for It or valued me as a real friend despite knowing that this completely ruined my life
After we were kicked out of school I stayed friends with him for years Because he was still friends with other people in my group
Does anyone else have any brutal party stories?? (Long story)
:blackpill:This is a long story I had kind of blocked it out of my memory until I saw someone else post An experience they had at a party and it reminded me of this story :blackpill: This was around a year ago now maybe longer I went with My “friend” who goes to alot of raves and partys it...
incels.is
This is another story that involves him if you are interested
This story is when I genuinely realised it was over for me and lost hope in my life
Things like This in my life is what proved to me that personality doesn’t mean shit
I had showed loyalty to my friend and went out of my way to show kindness to try and help him and yet he didnt even give me basic respect for any of this
Arent these good personality traits??
yet They didnt help me at all in life
I have always been loyal to anyone I view as a friend and most of the time It has never helped me
You'd think that these days where most people are selfish and out for themselves that people would value genuinely loyal people but just because I am subhuman they dont care
Another time I can remember I was meant to be meeting this same guy his cousin and my other friend
My other friend called me and said to meet at his house and I told him I would have to walk because My mum was at work and couldn't drive me there
I then had to walk from my house to his
He knew that I had bad anxiety and that this would be horrible for me
After an hour or so I finally got to his house and knocked on the door
No answer
I knock a couple more times and then realise no one is in
Im thinking maybe they went to the shop to buy some food or something so I call them to see whats going on
Im walking around his garden because normally I was welcomed by his family in their house so I didnt think it would be a problem and I didnt want to sit out in the street because people were walking by constantly
He picks up the video call
I see all of their faces underneath some trees looking down at the camera
I can picture this so vividly as this moment was the start of the downfall of my life
“Where are you what are you doing “ I said
“Are you at my house” he said
“Yeah”
“Get the fuck out of my house and fuck off”
He starts laughing with the other guys cousin but my other “friend” doenst laugh
Maybe he felt bad idk
I felt a pit drop in my stomach and I felt sick
I hate this feeling so much Ive exprienced it so many times the feeling you get when You know you are not valued and you know that you are just subhuman trash
I felt angry sad and confused I didnt know why they had done this to me I had done nothing wrong
I had walked all that way and suffered for nothing and now I had to do it all again just to go home
I wasn't expecting this because up to this point nothing like this had never happened to me and we had been good friends as far as I knew for a year
The brutal thing is I stayed “friends” with these people for years after this because I was scared of being alone
Later on another cunt joined the group and he brutally bullied me pretty much every time we met
Sometimes he would treat me normally so every time before we met I would just hope that He wouldnt bully me that day and that I could just be treated like a normal human like everyone else but most of the time I wouldnt be
There was no way I could defend myself or make him stop because this guy was way stronger then me
I tried to defend myself against him one time but He just overpowered me to show me could beat my ass if he wanted to
This went on for a year and a half and It was pretty much the only socialising I could get so I would always meet them
Everyday I would be picked on and I was the only one in the group this happened to
I remember one time He dared me to burn a cigarette on my hand and I did it to try and prove myself to him because I thought he would stop bullying me if I did
He forced the lit cigarette into my palm and I just remember staring at him in the eyes while It happened and it barely even hurt
It felt good to see how disappointed he was that I wasnt in pain
Im not sure how this didnt hurt because normally my pain tolerance is terrible but its like my pain went away just to spite him
Im guessing he didnt push it in that hard though because It never scarred my hand or anything but it still felt good just to spite him
Theres so many other stories that I can’t remember Well from this time but Pretty much everyday there was another brutal experience
After this Ive never been able to trust anyone fully again
There is always apart of me that thinks they are just using me for whatever reason or bullying me behind my back and That will never go away
My brain has been completely ruined by people from the abuse I suffered as a kid to the way all the fucking people in my life have treated me
Society will say that all you need to do to get a good social life is have a good personality obviously this isnt true and even if it was
how is that even fucking possible after experiencing things like this
Normal people never have to suffer through the experiences that we do they could never understand
The friends I have now are the only ones that didn't treat me like shit and treated me normally but I still cant fully trust them because Of how fucked my brain is now
Its strange to think about how pathetic of a person I used to be compared to now
Im not saying that Im a strong confident guy now but I would never put up with any of this shit now
but back then I was just a lonely dumb subhuman kid
I wish the worst on all the people that treated me like shit and all the people that have abused members of this site
This will never happen realistically though because this world rewards Evil people
I saw that mf that bullied me recently and He is living a good life while Ive been questioning killing myself everyday For months now
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