so idk where to even start with my story,im 25 now,living alone in a big house my parents left me and they moved somewhere else out of the country,started isolating myself in the last year from all friends i had as i see no more point because they just cant fucking understand me,i got blackpilled when i was 21 back in 2021,my experience was not that brutal and sudden but it came over years and years of rejection since early childhood as no foids ever gave me any attention and they just used me as a clown to make fun off,it destroyed me mentally but to cope i started clowning myself whole middle and high school till i dropped out in second grade,then i started making lots of money via some online scamms/ccs and then the reality hit once i started building up that money,it wasnt the money,it wasnt the looks i would say 50-50 but the main issue is my fucked up mind as i was always in and out of the psych ward since i was 11 and stopped at 18 and im anxious and awkward as fuck,i lack basic social skills for everyday life and suffer from extreme anxiety where i cant even go out without at least 20mg on benzos,i even suspect im on the spectrum but never diagnosed,cant sleep last few days its a horror im just soo fucked i know its over and i just cant take this bs anymore,it came to a point where i dont even want to go outside as i get extreme explosive rage as soon as i see foids and couples,i just fucking want to kill myself and end this nightmare.... my worst problem is that im just enabling and delaying what has to come for the past 5 years and it gets worse and worse by each day and now to the point where i cant even sleep or go out in peace anymore... i joined here just to vent off and discuss shit,this maybe all sounds hard to understand but i had like max 13 hours of sleep in the past 5 days and im sitting at my pc knowing i cant take it anymore but im too much of a coward to off myself... yeah thats my introduction to the community,be open to ask anything you want
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