Foids are no longer human to me. As far as anything like physical it all seems a waste to me, like we never get to enjoy this in our everyday lives as men it’s like we have the world to ourselves so why does anyone waste their time on a woman as your most beautiful thing is your hands and your voice and the thing you touch, the first time you touch someone and they kiss you it's not like you don’t want to, it's like you don't feel any of that emotion with a woman like we do with the male we are like the ultimate animal and once we are gone you will realise how big a miss we are on the world.
Once you’re done with the world you will realise how big a mistake we were and we were selfish with our time, when you look at other species it’s like they don’t give two fucks but when you look at humans it's just another side of the same coin we have destroyed our planet many many times now, god knows how we will destroy ourselves, it's just taking so long as we were all so stupid and never learned any kind of life skills or how to survive anywhere for anything, humans are a dying species, it really amazes me how we will destroy this world yet will rebuild cities and buildings, maybe we will, or maybe we will just die a nasty painful death, hopefully not.
I'll never be interested in a woman again I will not get close to them and they will never have any kind of genuine connection with me, they will see me as a rival for their female attention or as a threat and fear me not they will all just see me as the sexual outlet for when they are horny instead of a good man that cares for them but for the main woman that has just walked out of my life I will be in the sea fishing so I will not be able to contact her or at least not for some time, or maybe I can try to contact her but I wont I don't need this anymore.
So I will not be a good man no matter how much I try to become good and pretend to want to change, maybe I will not die in a fire I will get old and I will stay alone, I will have no work or friendships because I will not try to impress anyone, I will have no family and no girlfriend and nothing left but sadness, regret and depression, I will forget about my past and not care about what others are doing, even if I do try to be a good man and help the lady I will still be judged for not being with the right woman even though I was right in my decisions, I will no longer help anyone or give a fuck about others.
I will not be a part of this world anymore, I will not give a fuck about friends or family it will all be about me and nothing else, I can have everything that I ever wanted but I won’t even appreciate it and it will all be about me as I will not have any cares or responsibilities or worries or thoughts.
I will not live with regret or shame I will just not think about anything at all except for the one question which has been plaguing my mind for years, what did I do wrong?
What did I do to end up alone like this?
Why did I do nothing?
Why can I not find love?
Why can’t I fall in love?
Why can I not fall in love with a woman who i have feelings for and want to grow old with?
Why can’t I just live happily ever after with someone?
Why can’t I have the perfect relationship I have dreamed about since I was a little boy?
The endless question, the question which keeps my mind busy, it never leaves me no matter how much I try to divert it, no matter what I do the question remains the same, my thoughts about my life are never normal and never remain calm.
The minute I find something normal in my life I ruin it, I need to be doing something constantly, I need to keep myself busy, no calm and peace, I need to be jumping from one thing to the other to just have some kind of normality in my life, or as I prefer to call it a boring and normal life, I have to be busy and occupied with something, just something in my life to not think about the one big question which is haunting me, no matter how many happy and successful people I see around me it does not take the pain away but only makes it stronger.
I must go now as my fishing boat is about to leave, I will have to return to the big city before I end up dying on the sea, metaphorical of course, I have to do something or just simply accept that I am going to die alone and possibly never to find my love again.
Once you’re done with the world you will realise how big a mistake we were and we were selfish with our time, when you look at other species it’s like they don’t give two fucks but when you look at humans it's just another side of the same coin we have destroyed our planet many many times now, god knows how we will destroy ourselves, it's just taking so long as we were all so stupid and never learned any kind of life skills or how to survive anywhere for anything, humans are a dying species, it really amazes me how we will destroy this world yet will rebuild cities and buildings, maybe we will, or maybe we will just die a nasty painful death, hopefully not.
I'll never be interested in a woman again I will not get close to them and they will never have any kind of genuine connection with me, they will see me as a rival for their female attention or as a threat and fear me not they will all just see me as the sexual outlet for when they are horny instead of a good man that cares for them but for the main woman that has just walked out of my life I will be in the sea fishing so I will not be able to contact her or at least not for some time, or maybe I can try to contact her but I wont I don't need this anymore.
So I will not be a good man no matter how much I try to become good and pretend to want to change, maybe I will not die in a fire I will get old and I will stay alone, I will have no work or friendships because I will not try to impress anyone, I will have no family and no girlfriend and nothing left but sadness, regret and depression, I will forget about my past and not care about what others are doing, even if I do try to be a good man and help the lady I will still be judged for not being with the right woman even though I was right in my decisions, I will no longer help anyone or give a fuck about others.
I will not be a part of this world anymore, I will not give a fuck about friends or family it will all be about me and nothing else, I can have everything that I ever wanted but I won’t even appreciate it and it will all be about me as I will not have any cares or responsibilities or worries or thoughts.
I will not live with regret or shame I will just not think about anything at all except for the one question which has been plaguing my mind for years, what did I do wrong?
What did I do to end up alone like this?
Why did I do nothing?
Why can I not find love?
Why can’t I fall in love?
Why can I not fall in love with a woman who i have feelings for and want to grow old with?
Why can’t I just live happily ever after with someone?
Why can’t I have the perfect relationship I have dreamed about since I was a little boy?
The endless question, the question which keeps my mind busy, it never leaves me no matter how much I try to divert it, no matter what I do the question remains the same, my thoughts about my life are never normal and never remain calm.
The minute I find something normal in my life I ruin it, I need to be doing something constantly, I need to keep myself busy, no calm and peace, I need to be jumping from one thing to the other to just have some kind of normality in my life, or as I prefer to call it a boring and normal life, I have to be busy and occupied with something, just something in my life to not think about the one big question which is haunting me, no matter how many happy and successful people I see around me it does not take the pain away but only makes it stronger.
I must go now as my fishing boat is about to leave, I will have to return to the big city before I end up dying on the sea, metaphorical of course, I have to do something or just simply accept that I am going to die alone and possibly never to find my love again.
