Just a brief vent about this fact, a fact coming ever into the forefront of my mind as it draws deathly close. Only a few short months separate me from becoming a 21-year-old KHHV. Leaving teenage last year was hard in itself, but I fear this next one is going to be devastating. Why? It is because 21 is one of those ages that is sort of a societal rite-of-passage—it is idolized in a way that few other ages are. For those unaware, there is a whole fucking clothing brand dedicated to it called Forever21. I often saw one Forever21 store as a child when I went to a mall near my home, and it became sort of ingrained into my mind. Now that child is dead, and I am about to become that store's namesake, with not one girl in between. What went wrong…
Another obvious facet in the fixation on 21 is of course alcohol, in which I have no interest. (I have very addictive tendencies and would probably become an alcoholic and ruin my education if I started drinking.) Yet this lack of interest does not detract from the way that 21 is perceived in the world around us, hailed as the crowning jewel of youth, the prime of life—I would go so far as to argue that this celebration extends to a near-fetishization of the age. And as with anything sexual, I cannot partake in it. In all likelihood, the birthday so sweet to some will be wormwood to me.
Another obvious facet in the fixation on 21 is of course alcohol, in which I have no interest. (I have very addictive tendencies and would probably become an alcoholic and ruin my education if I started drinking.) Yet this lack of interest does not detract from the way that 21 is perceived in the world around us, hailed as the crowning jewel of youth, the prime of life—I would go so far as to argue that this celebration extends to a near-fetishization of the age. And as with anything sexual, I cannot partake in it. In all likelihood, the birthday so sweet to some will be wormwood to me.
