InevatibleRope
deformed khhv tren enjoyer
★★★★
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2021
- Posts
- 308
I am consensually being raped by my captain. I can't handle my crippling self disgust.
I'm a 20 year old apprentice officer. You need an year of apprenticeship in order to be a fully qualified deck officer.
The maritime field doesn't welcome females, especially on board vessels. I wanted to prove everybody wrong by doing well and being successful in the field.
Things went well in the beginning. I was doing great for an apprentice and other officers awknowledged this as well. However, what really matters is the master's evaluation and that single sheet of paper has full control over my school grades and my future chances of employment. I really thought honest work would earn me good scores.
On the 16th of november, the bastard wanted me at his cabin after lunch. He had the evaluation paper on the desk, and he wasn't wearing anything under his waist. He asked what I'm willing to do for it and I realized what's going on, but I was too shocked and was unwilling to lose dignity for that sheet of paper. He walked over to me and ejaculated on my uniform, then told me to fuck off.
This was the beginning of two tormenting weeks. Since the master has the keys, he has access to my room even if I lock the door. When I come back to my cabin after duty, my room would be messed up and my drawers are open. My underwears are nowhere to be found, and I later find them in the waste rags container. Waste rags are very often used by ratings, and I would find the ratings fooling around with what used to be my underwear. Of course they don't know they were mine but it's extremely humiliating just to see the sight of it.
He also called me in the middle of the night just to ask me for water or other small errands. This screwed my sleeping schedule and mentally destroyed me.
I had nowhere to turn to, as other officers had/still has no idea of what went on. Third officer was always nice to me, but he hit on me on a very early stage of my apprenticeship and things were still a bit awkward. I only had myself to me, and I just kept telling myself that things would get better and somehow kept my shit together.
I really shouldn't have. I really should have lost my shit and should have done some crazy things.
November 30th, he called me half a dozen times at night. I was extremely tired the day before as we departed from our previous port. I barely had any sleep that night and almost passed out during morning watch. The next day he called me to his cabin after lunch. I saw the same exact shit I saw two weeks ago.
I gave up. I was too physically/mentally exhausted. I just wanted to end this hell. I did what he wanted me to do. I had little experience as because of family backgrounds, and he slapped my face for not being good enough. I lost all the will to fight back. Afterwards He asked me to strip off. I did. I consented. Then he groped me, then washed me. He then sent me to my cabin.
I passed out emotionless. I was off duty for the evening and I slept for 16 hours straight. I didn't feel anything during the next morning watch and stood like a zombie. After lunch he called me again. I went to his cabin, and he showed me the video of myself willingly stripping off.
I had no physical evidence of him tormenting me for the past two weeks or forcing me the previous day. He had solid proof of naked me doing what he wanted, without any resistance.
The past 5 days have not been kind. I'm just a toy now. I have crawled naked. He raped me while I'm tied. I hid under his desk giving him blowjob naked while other officers were also in the room.
I'm having mental breakdowns and at the same time I'm not feeling anything anymore. At this point its not at all about completing my apprenticeship. Now its about having to live on or not. I really just needed to vent. I just don't know what to do and I'm disgusted with myself. I hate what I've gotten myself into and I hope tommorow never comes.
I really don't work good marks anymore. I don't care and that doesnt matter anymore. I'm just scared of his taking advantage of the evidences he made. Even that I didn't do for marks, but to end his bullying that lasted two weeks. But please, thinking that others think I did it because of the marks really crushes me. I didn't... I really didn't.
I'm a 20 year old apprentice officer. You need an year of apprenticeship in order to be a fully qualified deck officer.
The maritime field doesn't welcome females, especially on board vessels. I wanted to prove everybody wrong by doing well and being successful in the field.
Things went well in the beginning. I was doing great for an apprentice and other officers awknowledged this as well. However, what really matters is the master's evaluation and that single sheet of paper has full control over my school grades and my future chances of employment. I really thought honest work would earn me good scores.
On the 16th of november, the bastard wanted me at his cabin after lunch. He had the evaluation paper on the desk, and he wasn't wearing anything under his waist. He asked what I'm willing to do for it and I realized what's going on, but I was too shocked and was unwilling to lose dignity for that sheet of paper. He walked over to me and ejaculated on my uniform, then told me to fuck off.
This was the beginning of two tormenting weeks. Since the master has the keys, he has access to my room even if I lock the door. When I come back to my cabin after duty, my room would be messed up and my drawers are open. My underwears are nowhere to be found, and I later find them in the waste rags container. Waste rags are very often used by ratings, and I would find the ratings fooling around with what used to be my underwear. Of course they don't know they were mine but it's extremely humiliating just to see the sight of it.
He also called me in the middle of the night just to ask me for water or other small errands. This screwed my sleeping schedule and mentally destroyed me.
I had nowhere to turn to, as other officers had/still has no idea of what went on. Third officer was always nice to me, but he hit on me on a very early stage of my apprenticeship and things were still a bit awkward. I only had myself to me, and I just kept telling myself that things would get better and somehow kept my shit together.
I really shouldn't have. I really should have lost my shit and should have done some crazy things.
November 30th, he called me half a dozen times at night. I was extremely tired the day before as we departed from our previous port. I barely had any sleep that night and almost passed out during morning watch. The next day he called me to his cabin after lunch. I saw the same exact shit I saw two weeks ago.
I gave up. I was too physically/mentally exhausted. I just wanted to end this hell. I did what he wanted me to do. I had little experience as because of family backgrounds, and he slapped my face for not being good enough. I lost all the will to fight back. Afterwards He asked me to strip off. I did. I consented. Then he groped me, then washed me. He then sent me to my cabin.
I passed out emotionless. I was off duty for the evening and I slept for 16 hours straight. I didn't feel anything during the next morning watch and stood like a zombie. After lunch he called me again. I went to his cabin, and he showed me the video of myself willingly stripping off.
I had no physical evidence of him tormenting me for the past two weeks or forcing me the previous day. He had solid proof of naked me doing what he wanted, without any resistance.
The past 5 days have not been kind. I'm just a toy now. I have crawled naked. He raped me while I'm tied. I hid under his desk giving him blowjob naked while other officers were also in the room.
I'm having mental breakdowns and at the same time I'm not feeling anything anymore. At this point its not at all about completing my apprenticeship. Now its about having to live on or not. I really just needed to vent. I just don't know what to do and I'm disgusted with myself. I hate what I've gotten myself into and I hope tommorow never comes.
I really don't work good marks anymore. I don't care and that doesnt matter anymore. I'm just scared of his taking advantage of the evidences he made. Even that I didn't do for marks, but to end his bullying that lasted two weeks. But please, thinking that others think I did it because of the marks really crushes me. I didn't... I really didn't.