Well brocels,
i took a long break posting on this forum, but yet, here i am, again....
In my country (switzerland) every young guy has to go to the military or serve a year in civil services.
When I had my [UWSL]recruitment I was declared suitable for the military service and I got assigned to the radio troops, later on I was told because of my good results I could go to the air force and become a fighter pilot...[/UWSL]
[UWSL]My job would have been set up big antennas, pic related...[/UWSL]
[UWSL]
[/UWSL]
[UWSL]But somehow I knew what fate would await me. I mean what is more laughable than a 21 year old KHV....[/UWSL]
[UWSL]I was desperate, I thought that there would be a big chance I would get bullied once others would find out that I am an incel, it happened before...
[/UWSL]
[UWSL]I applied for my civil services where I would just do simple stuff like working 9-5 in a school, nursing home, hospital, etc....[/UWSL]
I got accepted for civil service and got asked to confirm my request so that they could offically discharge me from the military.
But somewhere deep down in me I wanted to go, I wanted to be the man my father wanted me to be, hell i even got a recommendation as a fighter pilot, which is very rare...
I literally was laying on the floor in my room for days, I couldn't make a decision. In the end i confirmed my request, and I got assigned to the civil service.
For all those who made it to this point, thanks for reading brocels
Here I am now, in my first month of civil service, thinking about where it all went wrong.
If I would've had a girlfriend at the age of 18, 19 or even 20 my life would have went a completely other way.
I wouldnt feel betrayed and robbed of my youth...
I just couldn't go to the military, not for this government, not for this society.
Being an incel destroyed me, my will, my hope for the future. Why should i even fight for a country, where I am worthless to at least half of the people my age??? (You know which half)
Today I saw two fighter Jets (FA-18) fly over my school, I almost cried when I saw them, the sound of those mighty engines roaring above in the sky, I knew that i could have been up there in the sky, if only I had the will for it....
Dont get me wrong!
...before inceldom destroyed me I had the will to work hard for my goals, I was among the best students at the end of my apprentice ship, I even got called on the stage at my graduation and got handed a price
I feel as nothing but a shell of a man. The kind boy I was raised to be is long gone, countless rejections later I realised that being a "nice boy with very good manners" is a nope for 95% of girls my age (21).
Bros... am I lost?.... I dont want to live anymore...I know I am torturing myself but.....I failed myself and my father....
When does it end??
i took a long break posting on this forum, but yet, here i am, again....
In my country (switzerland) every young guy has to go to the military or serve a year in civil services.
When I had my [UWSL]recruitment I was declared suitable for the military service and I got assigned to the radio troops, later on I was told because of my good results I could go to the air force and become a fighter pilot...[/UWSL]
[UWSL]My job would have been set up big antennas, pic related...[/UWSL]
[UWSL]
[UWSL]But somehow I knew what fate would await me. I mean what is more laughable than a 21 year old KHV....[/UWSL]
[UWSL]I was desperate, I thought that there would be a big chance I would get bullied once others would find out that I am an incel, it happened before...
[/UWSL][UWSL]I applied for my civil services where I would just do simple stuff like working 9-5 in a school, nursing home, hospital, etc....[/UWSL]
I got accepted for civil service and got asked to confirm my request so that they could offically discharge me from the military.
But somewhere deep down in me I wanted to go, I wanted to be the man my father wanted me to be, hell i even got a recommendation as a fighter pilot, which is very rare...
I literally was laying on the floor in my room for days, I couldn't make a decision. In the end i confirmed my request, and I got assigned to the civil service.
For all those who made it to this point, thanks for reading brocels
Here I am now, in my first month of civil service, thinking about where it all went wrong.
If I would've had a girlfriend at the age of 18, 19 or even 20 my life would have went a completely other way.
I wouldnt feel betrayed and robbed of my youth...
I just couldn't go to the military, not for this government, not for this society.
Being an incel destroyed me, my will, my hope for the future. Why should i even fight for a country, where I am worthless to at least half of the people my age??? (You know which half)
Today I saw two fighter Jets (FA-18) fly over my school, I almost cried when I saw them, the sound of those mighty engines roaring above in the sky, I knew that i could have been up there in the sky, if only I had the will for it....
Dont get me wrong!
...before inceldom destroyed me I had the will to work hard for my goals, I was among the best students at the end of my apprentice ship, I even got called on the stage at my graduation and got handed a price
I feel as nothing but a shell of a man. The kind boy I was raised to be is long gone, countless rejections later I realised that being a "nice boy with very good manners" is a nope for 95% of girls my age (21).
Bros... am I lost?.... I dont want to live anymore...I know I am torturing myself but.....I failed myself and my father....
When does it end??
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