Ive always been a loser in the eyes of women, as if they can smell the stink of weakness on me. Every girl ive ever met has shown me im not her favorite boy, just the backup, the punchline when a better man comes by. Im always been set up for failure: the bullied weakling left to fade in Darwinian fashion as an alpha male descends upon the maidens. They look with pity, amusement, mockery in their eyes as I silently plea for mercy...and laugh at my humiliation. The choice of which male to mate with is obvious even to me, so i saunter off in sadness to masturbate alone--wasted seed, testes production depleted in submission. Sometimes he lets me watch, or teases me with the promise of getting seconds, just to see the hope in my eyes crushed as she says no and makes me leave the room unless i beg to hear and masturbate. Girls have nuclear rejected me, singled me out among over a dozen as the only one not to pursue a date with, seen my small weiner shrivel up under pressure.
i want to be a mall janitor, subjecting myself to the humiliation march everyday, having to go and be seen everyday at everyplace of the property as the lowest. i want to be the one who has to get on his hands and knees in front of potentially everyone and dirty his hands over trivial issues at the command of anyone who adds to his burden by littering that day. i want to clean the womens toilets and revel in their filth. i want to be the loser in the eyes of all women, the example of shame mothers use to scare their children to do well in school. i want an excuse for why i dont get girls, but enjoy an intimacy with them anyway, the one who sees the filth they hide away in our secret room only i can enter among women. I clean their dirty toilets and smell their menstrual blood, touch their fecal waste, their living punchline and servant. I want to take orders from a fat girl and be her subservient bitch in public, my meaty effeminate ass only touched in jest by mocking women on full display.
1) Ive been circumsized against my will so sll my orgasms are diminished, my bodily autonomy violated, my genitals scarred and numbed in accordance with a cruel policy of making sex less enjoyable on purpose.
2) The girls I liked always turned my down in public or saw me get humiliated by stronger men and never stood up for me--most enjoyed it. They saw other boys rough me up, pull my hood down over my head with trash in it, laughing along or pitying me as the harmless male.
3) My worst bully could see the fear when he laid eyes on me--we both knew i was a loser and i blushed with humiliation--because i was nothing so he could take me down to nothing. He made me his bitch: fetching his foul balls for him, heckling my athleticism/vigor, calling attention to my lack of luck with the ladies and making me dance or pantsing me in front of the pretty girls we both knew id never have. I look at women now and think "she's not for you, she doesn't date losers like you, catch your glimpses but keep your eyes on your mop or the others will shame you.
i want to be a mall janitor, subjecting myself to the humiliation march everyday, having to go and be seen everyday at everyplace of the property as the lowest. i want to be the one who has to get on his hands and knees in front of potentially everyone and dirty his hands over trivial issues at the command of anyone who adds to his burden by littering that day. i want to clean the womens toilets and revel in their filth. i want to be the loser in the eyes of all women, the example of shame mothers use to scare their children to do well in school. i want an excuse for why i dont get girls, but enjoy an intimacy with them anyway, the one who sees the filth they hide away in our secret room only i can enter among women. I clean their dirty toilets and smell their menstrual blood, touch their fecal waste, their living punchline and servant. I want to take orders from a fat girl and be her subservient bitch in public, my meaty effeminate ass only touched in jest by mocking women on full display.
1) Ive been circumsized against my will so sll my orgasms are diminished, my bodily autonomy violated, my genitals scarred and numbed in accordance with a cruel policy of making sex less enjoyable on purpose.
2) The girls I liked always turned my down in public or saw me get humiliated by stronger men and never stood up for me--most enjoyed it. They saw other boys rough me up, pull my hood down over my head with trash in it, laughing along or pitying me as the harmless male.
3) My worst bully could see the fear when he laid eyes on me--we both knew i was a loser and i blushed with humiliation--because i was nothing so he could take me down to nothing. He made me his bitch: fetching his foul balls for him, heckling my athleticism/vigor, calling attention to my lack of luck with the ladies and making me dance or pantsing me in front of the pretty girls we both knew id never have. I look at women now and think "she's not for you, she doesn't date losers like you, catch your glimpses but keep your eyes on your mop or the others will shame you.
