Venting I am a 20 year old degenerate. I beat my dog, slammed my mother, and injured my grandmother. I hate every facet of my being.

[Deleted member 34772]

Years of bullying, being socially outcasted, being an incel has rotted my mind and turned be into a terrible person. All the joy in my body has turned into anger and discontentment.

A couple of months ago I hit my mother, slammed her onto a (cheap) couch and broke the couch. I fucked up her back and hips really bad. I also really fucked up my elderly grandma’s arms as I pulled a phone out her hand as she tried to call the police. My dog started getting really anxious and began barking loudly and jumping on me and my mom as me struggled and I threw/hit/pushed him hard. My mom ended up calling my aunt who called the police on me. My mother was having an anxiety attack and I ran away in the middle of the night.

I ended up laying in some bush for a couple of hours before police found me.

My mother didn’t press charges or anything. She just covered for me and lied about what had happened to the police.

Any time I think of this memory it makes me feel like a barbaric fucking animal and causes deep shame.


Why the fuck did I have to become this miserable, cynical, degenerate of a person? I spend everyday in hell watchin time pass me by as I rot and wagslave.

I can not truly express how much I absolutely loathe every fiber of my fucking being. How much I truly hate the world I inhabit. The fact that I was forced into this hell of a reality is a fucking joke to me.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

damn dude

 

[misterbean9]

I accidentally gave my mum a black eye cause I thought she was standing behind me when I threw a book to the side in rage

 

[Deleted member 34772]

Worse yet is now anytime my grandmother wakes up to a loud noise, she has PTSD from this moment. 2 times since the event my grandmotehr has woken up screaming in fear and calling for my mother.

Also, my family members now view me entirely differently and see me as unstable and dangerous.

 

[Deleted member 33902]

That's tragic. Sorry dude.

 

[AllanKing]

maybe oneday you will end up in mental hospital

 

[AnotherInsertCel1]

It's really over.

 

[JestER]

Remember it's not your fault and soyciety did this to you. Take your anger out on them, especially (((them))), your CHOice.

 

[Lebensmüder]

Brutal. Same here ngl. Am unironically a bitter, jealous and jaded person. I mostly screech around whenever something irritates me. I don't read any books or play video games anymore. I have no real interests or plans for my life anymore. I am extremely greedy, envious and mean with my money/possesions.

The only things I like to do are music (mostly real/ficitious marching music) and walking around in the forests/mountains/on the lakes. I have trouble with my family, I constantly tell them that I have no interest in continuing to work and that my dream life would be total NEETdom (I tell my parents that they can waste all the money they have because I wouldn't be able to appreciate it anyways and that they shouldn't restrict themselves for me). I also have regular shouting matches with them (especially when they ask me why I have no GF or success in my working life) because I cannot hear their assumptions anymore (even dropped the black pill on them in regards to height/face/neurotypicality).

Also I have an extreme sensibility towards noice while also being an extremely loud/easily to anger person. I have revenge phantasies that carry on for years and never forget the slightest misdemeanor towards me. I also hold many views that the normal people deem as distasteful - I am anti-intellectual, detest journalists, etc.; I mostly stay away in the night to watch True Crime, Nazi or animal attack documentaries. I am not compatible with other people and I hate them (a hatred that is reciprocal). It's not like I think I am better than them, but I am different. I am also quite a macabre person and like to read about injuries/infections/torture/etc. Sometimes I still have some level of regret.

The greatest myth is that repeated failures strengthen the character, rather you become a very defensive/unsympathetic, embittered person that defends the few things he has in his life with utter force and detests others. The greatest lie is that your own suffering must mean compassion for the suffering of others. It has robbed me of my compassion, my ability to empathize and my capability to withstand frustration. Sometimes I hate myself for it, sometimes not.

 

[BrettyBoy]

I draw the line at the part where you hit the dog but it appears you hate what you did so I will let you off the hook.

 

[Permabancel]

I'm too high inhib to do anything but I p much hate Everything now and can't enjoy anything I used to

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

Years of bullying, being socially outcasted, being an incel has rotted my mind and turned be into a terrible person. All the joy in my body has turned into anger and discontentment.

A couple of months ago I hit my mother, slammed her onto a (cheap) couch and broke the couch. I fucked up her back and hips really bad. I also really fucked up my elderly grandma’s arms as I pulled a phone out her hand as she tried to call the police. My dog started getting really anxious and began barking loudly and jumping on me and my mom as me struggled and I threw/hit/pushed him hard. My mom ended up calling my aunt who called the police on me. My mother was having an anxiety attack and I ran away in the middle of the night.

I ended up laying in some bush for a couple of hours before police found me.

My mother didn’t press charges or anything. She just covered for me and lied about what had happened to the police.

Any time I think of this memory it makes me feel like a barbaric fucking animal and causes deep shame.


Why the fuck did I have to become this miserable, cynical, degenerate of a person? I spend everyday in hell watchin time pass me by as I rot and wagslave.

I can not truly express how much I absolutely loathe every fiber of my fucking being. How much I truly hate the world I inhabit. The fact that I was forced into this hell of a reality is a fucking joke to me.

I’d rather die than ever hit my parents.
You have anger issues bro, get some help, whether self help or otherwise.
Maybe try meditation.

 

[Khaplain40KKK]

The only female members of my family that I tolerate is my great-grandma. She is direct and very crude which is refreshing. My grandpa was also very blackpilled as well.

But yeah I can relate to you wanted to hit your mother, mine is a fucking bitch. Just from a personality standpoint, even other people thinks shes weird. I inherited my autism from her.

 

[Deleted member 34772]

The only female members of my family that I tolerate is my great-grandma. She is direct and very crude which is refreshing. My grandpa was also very blackpilled as well.

But yeah I can relate to you wanted to hit your mother, mine is a fucking bitch. Just from a personality standpoint, even other people thinks shes weird. I inherited my autism from her.

I like my mother for the most part. I just have explosive fits of rage that buildup slowly over time.

 

[Khaplain40KKK]

I like my mother for the most part. I just have explosive fits of rage that buildup slowly over time.

I feel ya. I just cope with rage by being low-inhib, as personally that's an effective way of releasing steam.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

Brutal. Same here ngl. Am unironically a bitter, jealous and jaded person. I mostly screech around whenever something irritates me. I don't read any books or play video games anymore. I have no real interests or plans for my life anymore. I am extremely greedy, envious and mean with my money/possesions.

The only things I like to do are music (mostly real/ficitious marching music) and walking around in the forests/mountains/on the lakes. I have trouble with my family, I constantly tell them that I have no interest in continuing to work and that my dream life would be total NEETdom (I tell my parents that they can waste all the money they have because I wouldn't be able to appreciate it anyways and that they shouldn't restrict themselves for me). I also have regular shouting matches with them (especially when they ask me why I have no GF or success in my working life) because I cannot hear their assumptions anymore (even dropped the black pill on them in regards to height/face/neurotypicality).

Also I have an extreme sensibility towards noice while also being an extremely loud/easily to anger person. I have revenge phantasies that carry on for years and never forget the slightest misdemeanor towards me. I also hold many views that the normal people deem as distasteful - I am anti-intellectual, detest journalists, etc.; I mostly stay away in the night to watch True Crime, Nazi or animal attack documentaries. I am not compatible with other people and I hate them (a hatred that is reciprocal). It's not like I think I am better than them, but I am different. I am also quite a macabre person and like to read about injuries/infections/torture/etc. Sometimes I still have some level of regret.

The greatest myth is that repeated failures strengthen the character, rather you become a very defensive/unsympathetic, embittered person that defends the few things he has in his life with utter force and detests others. The greatest lie is that your own suffering must mean compassion for the suffering of others. It has robbed me of my compassion, my ability to empathize and my capability to withstand frustration. Sometimes I hate myself for it, sometimes not.

The ending was a perfect analysis. Even Dr. Jordan (cuck) Peterson says, a mouse has to at least win 30% of the games it plays, or it will stop playing games. People who keep losing socially isolate themselves because they don’t see any place for them in the society around them, and either lash out, socially isolate and rot alone, or leave altogether.

And based on your behaviours, you sound like you might have autism or something, but seems you already know you aren’t NT.

 

[FinnCel]

It's okay when chad does it

 

[Lebensmüder]

The ending was a perfect analysis. Even Dr. Jordan (cuck) Peterson says, a mouse has to at least win 30% of the games it plays, or it will stop playing games. People who keep losing socially isolate themselves because they don’t see any place for them in the society around them, and either lash out, socially isolate and rot alone, or leave altogether.

And based on your behaviours, you sound like you might have autism or something, but seems you already know you aren’t NT.

Yes. Am autistic, was diagnosed in fifth grade, was previously treated for ADHD and suspected brain damage/organic personality disorder (also back then there was attachment therapy which was quite a disaster). Was in the therapy/psychiatric system as a child and would under no circumstance ever go back there.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

Yes. Am autistic, was diagnosed in fifth grade, was previously treated for ADHD and suspected brain damage/organic personality disorder (also back then there was attachment therapy which was quite a disaster). Was in the therapy/psychiatric system as a child and would under no circumstance ever go back there.

Well, now that you lived through the consequences of attacking your mom and dog, I guess you have real world consequences you can remember that might scare you from ever doing that again.

 

[Deleted member 34772]

Well, now that you lived through the consequences of attacking your mom and dog, I guess you have real world consequences you can remember that might scare you from ever doing that again.

I am OP not @Lebensmüder

 

[Deleted member 15292]

Man, that s brutal eaven for a raging incel. You should be ashamed...

 

[Lebensmüder]

Well, now that you lived through the consequences of attacking your mom and dog, I guess you have real world consequences you can remember that might scare you from ever doing that again.

I think you meant the OP. I haven't beaten my mom ever -only defended myself sometimes when she hit me (because I didn't want to learn) or when she threw stuff at me, I only hurl insults. I mainly got into psychiatric care due to showing attachment issues, being too loud, obsessed with certain topics to a sickening degree (especially zoology which I constantly spammed and which led to me being bullied/beaten), not looking people in the eyes and showing signs of severe motoric disorders.

 

[WizardOfOz]

Man, that s brutal eaven for a raging incel. You should be ashamed...

This tbh

 

[SayanimCel]

Goddamn. Do you still live with your mother?

 

[Deleted member 34772]

I’d rather die than ever hit my parents.
You have anger issues bro, get some help, whether self help or otherwise.
Maybe try meditation.

Meditation is fucking stupid-

This was the first and only time i’ve ever hit her. When I would have bouts of rage I used to just scream but never hit her.

She also has anger issues and would attack me and I never retaliated. She punched me in the face without me noticing, she also pushed me into my dresser while I wasn’t paying attention to her I still had never hit her.

The event in the op happened after I got home from a party that was celebrating the life of a recently passing family member (mexican extended family). She died of a heroin overdose. I came back that day fucked up because the dead woman’s 13 y/o daughter was getting drunk because of her mom and crying at the party and it just stuck with me ig.

On the drive home from the party I got stuck in traffic because of a dead guy on the ground. Two people we’re over him giving him cpr and calling the police. I could already tell that the guy was gone. There was a giant pool of blood under him coming from his head.

Just a fucked up day tbh

 

[The Cagot]

Years of bullying, being socially outcasted, being an incel has rotted my mind and turned be into a terrible person. All the joy in my body has turned into anger and discontentment.

A couple of months ago I hit my mother, slammed her onto a (cheap) couch and broke the couch. I fucked up her back and hips really bad. I also really fucked up my elderly grandma’s arms as I pulled a phone out her hand as she tried to call the police. My dog started getting really anxious and began barking loudly and jumping on me and my mom as me struggled and I threw/hit/pushed him hard. My mom ended up calling my aunt who called the police on me. My mother was having an anxiety attack and I ran away in the middle of the night.

I ended up laying in some bush for a couple of hours before police found me.

My mother didn’t press charges or anything. She just covered for me and lied about what had happened to the police.

Any time I think of this memory it makes me feel like a barbaric fucking animal and causes deep shame.


Why the fuck did I have to become this miserable, cynical, degenerate of a person? I spend everyday in hell watchin time pass me by as I rot and wagslave.

I can not truly express how much I absolutely loathe every fiber of my fucking being. How much I truly hate the world I inhabit. The fact that I was forced into this hell of a reality is a fucking joke to me.

You're just like me. You are a Beast. You have 4 choices now :
- Go into a mental hospital forever
- Go to jail forever
- Commit suicide
- Fleeing away from society.

I chose the 4th one. My mind is completely fucked up, and extremely violent. So I decided to become a Keeper. The Keeper of the Beast. I am the Keeper AND the Beast to keep. I consider myself as a penitentiary keeper, who has to keep a very dangerous beast.

As a keeper of myself I have to advise other real people to stay away because "it" can be dangerous to come close to the Beast.
If the Beast becomes too dangerous it will be beaten, mutilated, or even killed by the Keeper if necessary.

You have become way too dangerous to continue, and you can't rope because it's a fault too.
So become the Keeper of the Beast inside you, before the Justice enjails you.
I don't care about why or how you became like this. You have to be mastered and only you can do this job.

Proudly wear the Jarden Municipal Uniform and Kevin Garvey and Kevin Garvey's beast at the same time.
You hate this world but they let you live, which is a gift they can take back.
By the name of the Judge of the fictionnal Jarden Court, Texas, in condemn you to 10 years of enjailment and you will be kept by the Keeper. May the Keeper keep you away from all the people on earth, as you hurt them repeatedly.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

I am OP not @Lebensmüder

over for adhd cels

 

[dirtykombatcel]

I draw the line at the part where you hit the dog but it appears you hate what you did so I will let you off the hook.

dogs are worthless npc's just like women, driven only by natural instinct (again, just like women). Stop coping.

 

[Deleted member 34772]

dogs are worthless npc's just like women, driven only by natural instinct (again, just like women). Stop coping.

He gives me more love than any foid will

 

[AutisticBeast]

Maybe you are 1/4 negro, maybe that is why you are acting that way.

 

[ldargoblin]

It's really over.

 

[yeahyeah]

I wish I could be there to tell you it’s okay or give you a hug. Because it’s the truth we’re all broken and feel like acting this way.

I experience the same feelings. And I’m basically the same age as you.

It’s not right that you should feel bad or ashamed of yourself after doing these things. Ashamed of the actions, yes. But don’t begin to hate yourself. You shouldn’t hate every fibre of your being, because God still loves you. And there’s people who have done much worse than you, yet God still loves them.

I think there’s a reason your mom didn’t send you off to jail.

 

[The Cagot]

God still loves you.

 

[Urekkim]

Retard lol

 

[BrettyBoy]

giga cuck

If you’re gonna use that term, use it correctly.

 

[Deleted member 27161]

Based. No shame in standing up for yourself, years ago I beat my father's ass when he had attacked me, even though I got arrested, glad I did it. He's never dared to try to hit me since.

Remember it's not your fault and soyciety did this to you. Take your anger out on them, especially (((them))), your CHOice.

dogs are worthless npc's just like women, driven only by natural instinct (again, just like women). Stop coping.

 

[Eightcel]

I feel just sad for you

 

[Deleted member 33805]

Should have stuck it in your mum

 

[Deta97]

I get it, man. As abhorrent as your actions were, I’m feeling the same thing. I have extreme resentment and a lot of pent up aggression for my family, my grandfather, my aunt, my mom, and a bunch of others. I never actually let them out all the way, but there were incidents where I snapped and almost got physical. Starting with my aunt when she threw a cup at me and busted my lip. I was about to chase and beat her into submission, when mom (who started this shit when she went into my pocket and revealed my “barf bag” then they both decided to go on a tangent about why I shouldn’t order anything from overseas and not listen to me) got in the way and I pushed her hard onto the couch. I was lucky to be able to be reasoned with by mom’s now ex boyfriend. He calmed me down and allowed me to take a nightly walk to cool myself down.

Then my grandfather after years of gaslighting and him slapping me around for disagreeing with him, which I snapped and was ready to fight him when he decided to walk towards me like he was going to hit me. Merely stepping from behind the counter and blading myself to prepare to defend myself just sets him off in a frenzy, saying he’s gonna knock the shit out of me. Which had it not been for my grandmother and my aunt holding him back, I would’ve gone bloodlust and it would’ve been ugly. In that event, after he threatened me, I went ahead and called him a nigger to goad him into throwing that first punch. We made up afterwards and during that event, I felt extreme remorse.

Then finally, my mom when she was drunk and not listening to anything I have to say… I just have to agree with her. Just like with my grandfather, then my aunt; but worse. I had an impulse of actually hurting her. I fortunately had an extreme level of restraint, despite my shitty day at work.

What it comes down to is that this is my life, I’m going to be powerless. I have to suck up and kiss ass, be a doormat or punching bag bah for everyone. And I know that even mom doesn’t really care much about me. Considering the things she’s said about me when drunk while I’m staying home from work taking care of her. She was ready to throw me out of the apartment if I called 911. She was in pain from osteonecrosis.
And considering how cold she often is towards me compared to my brothers.

I hate what I did, and what I’m becoming. And had I not had an outlet, I would’ve become much worse.

Maybe you should feel ashamed, but also recognize this is the product for what you’re going through. This isn’t entirely your fault. Just next time, try to keep it in check and find a way to deal with it.

 

[Threeyearoldcumsock]

die
idc if you're incel this is just unforgivable.

 

[WawelDragon1683]

Don't beat yourself about it. Anyone can lose their cool after years of suffering. The slight ammount of pain you influenced on them are nothing compered to what you suffered.

 

[Deleted member 34772]

die
idc if you're incel this is just unforgivable.

Kys grey. Cannot stand you fakecel grey pieces of shit tbh

 

[Deleted member 27159]

You did what needed to be done

die
idc if you're incel this is just unforgivable.

Joined June 13 2021

 

[Izayacel]

Low inhib

Dont feel ashamed or some Shit , its Not your fault for Ending Up Like this

 

[Deleted member 33827]

You are a highT Spartan stuck in this modern NPC world. You should move out and get into illegal business like selling drugs/extrotion etc. The risk is high but rewards are higher. You can channel your inner demon for your own good. You'll be dead in a few years but it'll be worth it. People like you never live for long and if they do it's almost always in a solitary confinement somewhere in a jail or a mental institution. You honestly can't live like a sheep beta cuckold so trying to confirm to societal norms is retarded anyways. Embrace your inner demon and fuck society. You don't belong here, you never did you sick cunt.

 

[PPEcel]

Dude are you sure you don't need any psychiatric attention?

 

[Deleted member 29230]

I feel you my mom has called the cops on me a few times and ran from home when I was younger we arent meant for this soyciety

 

[MarquisDeSade]

All of my family are dead, I'm the last of my genetic line and lineage where my family's genealogy dies with me if I don't have any kids of my own. There's a big part of me that wishes when I was younger that I would of treated my family with more respect, kindness, and compassion when they were still living, make up to your family right now or else you will grow up older like myself regretting it for the rest of your life. The years you have with your family currently you might not have later on down the road. It kills me thinking about the bullshit I did to my father when I was younger and now that he's dead there is no way for me to make up for my negligence towards him, I really wish he was alive right now. It's the kind of regret you don't want to live the rest of your life with, believe me when I say that.

Family is the only thing in this world that matters above all else, some of you may hate your families, but not having any family at all is the worst. Consider yourselves lucky in those regards.

 

[Izayacel]

I feel you my mom has called the cops on me a few times and ran from home when I was younger we arent meant for this soyciety

 

[FlyFace]

This world makes me wish for everywhere to have smog clouds like China.. then those face masks might actually come in handy.. until the Earths oceans boil out and everyone incinerates into ash.

I've almost assaulted my mother because she hit me once. My fathers hit me before. I just pretend to like my life and everyone in it. It is easier to be a chameleon this way. Make everyone believe you are hopeless and pathetic, then show your true power at a time when and where you can utilise it in a useful fashion. My idea of useful is anti to a normal persons idea of useful. A normal person would see that helping the world to thrive would be useful. I see helping the world to die as the most useful and selfless action. If I could kill this planet I would because it would cease our collective suffering.

Years of bullying, being socially outcasted, being an incel has rotted my mind and turned be into a terrible person. All the joy in my body has turned into anger and discontentment.

You see it's funny. My anger has manifested itself through thought rather than action. More suicidal than homicidal. Mostly comprising of Globally Suicide methods.

You hate this world but they let you live, which is a gift they can take back.

This gift feels a lot like a curse.