I’m struggling so much with just existing these days. I wish I could bring myself to believe in some higher power or ultimate purpose. I’m so tired all the time. My sleep schedule is shit. My health is shit. I’m tired. I’m in pain. I am misunderstood. I lived my whole life as a lie. I wish I could find a friend to listen. But I cant find a fellow man, let alone a woman, to hear me talk about my feelings and experience in life and why I reject much of what we were brought up to believe. It’s all meaningless. As gay as it sounds, sometimes I daydream about someone “saving me.” I wish I was “wanted.” It’s so cruel that only women are desired and wanted. It’s all meaningless. Why wasn’t it that both genders desire each other? I wish I was an animal, roaming around mindlessly with no pain or worry.
