- May 6, 2021
- 48d 8h 31m
How to Screen Out Promiscuous Women (15 Red Flags Every Man Should Know)
“You’re so judgmental!!!”
That’s the response I get when I delve a little too deep into my analytical side.
I’m somewhat of a perfectionist myself, so it’s no surprise that I hold others to my own lofty standards. And that’s one of many flaws I’m still working on.
There are certain times, however, when I’m unapologetic in my ways. And as you can see by the title of this article, this is one of those times.
The ability to screen out promiscuous women is one of the most valuable skills any man can have. It keeps you from wasting precious resources on a girl who couldn’t care less about you, and it protects you from being yet another clueless man in the dark.
A girl who sleeps around is never a good choice for your investment. And no matter what our culture tries to prove, the truth is that past sexual experience will always affect future relationships for the worse.
That’s why I created this list of 15 red flags to look for when you evaluate a potential partner.
This list is by no means exhaustive, and I’m sure there are plenty more signs you should be aware of too. But this one is intended to be a relatively quick check, and I’ve tried to limit it to signs you can notice within a few weeks at the most, or that you can easily find out with a scan of her social media.
Now I’m sure both you and I will catch some flak here for being “judgmental”, but remember, it’s not wrong to look out for your own interests. And in order to protect those interests, you need to discern the character of the people closest to you.
Being judgmental is assuming people’s character based on qualities outside their control. Discernment is deducing their character based on info they freely provide.
Only a fool would need a DNA test on an apple tree to confirm what it is…
Smart people just look at the fruit.
The 15 Red Flags Every Man Should Know
#1 She can’t stay at home. / She’s a party girl.What it means: She needs excitement.
If she can’t enjoy a quiet night at home, walk away.
These kind of girls seem fun and interesting at first, but their lifestyle gets old fast. Plus there’s no telling how many intoxicated guys have taken their shot at her.
So find a girl who would rather read a book, watch a TV show, work out at home, cook a new meal, or talk to her friends on the phone.
“But that doesn’t sound like fun…”
No, most guys would say it doesn’t. But you know what’s more important than fun in relationships?
A girl who runs out of her place every night has a need for excitement. And that need will find a way to bite you.
Sure, everything will be great when you’re both in a good mood, but what happens when she gets bored, or worse, when she’s unhappy?
If she needed excitement before she met you she will need it afterwards. And those thrills won’t be limited to a few drinks with the girls.
Most people are plenty fun when you get to know them anyway. So instead of worrying about that, ask yourself some more important questions:
- Will she be there during a rough patch in your life?
- Will she say “no” when a bigger fish comes along?
- Does she avoid situations where she’ll be unnecessarily tempted?
Work on all those first. Then you can talk about fun.
#2 She has too many male friends.What it means: She’s addicted to male attention.
Notice I said friends here and not acquaintances.
There’s nothing wrong with a woman having a conversation with a man. And if you do have a problem with that, you’re too possessive. A woman making small talk with her male coworker isn’t cause for concern.
But if she has close relationships to other guys, and she consistently talks to them about personal issues, that’s when you should be worried.
What you’ll need to be to keep her around
The true number of platonic male-female relationships is very small, and most of them only exist due to special circumstances.
But for the most part, men and women do not just become friends.
The truth is that the two sexes are equal, but different. And it’s tough for us to form close bonds outside of a romantic or sexual relationship.
Any girl who has tons of guy friends is bad news because almost all of them are attracted to her. And since she hasn’t made an effort to turn them down, it means she’s addicted to their attention.
If you don’t meet the requirements of such a popular girl, she’ll eagerly pick a replacement from her pool of waiting “friends”.
#3 She has tattoos or piercings on interior body parts.What it means: She’s impulsive.
I’ve never been a fan of tattoos, so I wouldn’t look for a significant other who has any. But this red flag is more about the positioning of the ones she has.
If a girl has tattoos or piercings on any interior body parts (i.e. her upper thighs, torso, etc.), it is not a good sign. And here are only a few reasons why:
- Someone had to put it there
- People don’t get tattoos to cover them up
- She makes long-term decisions based on short-term results
It doesn’t make sense to me.
But in a way, I guess you should be happy when you see a girl like this. She’s made your job easy by effectively saying, “Don’t take me serious.”
#4 She’s a (moderate to heavy) drinker. / She does recreational drugs.What it means: She allows unnecessary temptation.
Contrary to popular belief, human beings are not inherently good. And when given the choice, we will always be inclined to do what’s morally wrong.
Many times our conscious thought overrides this inclination, but whenever alcohol or drugs are involved, that inhibition goes out the window.
The point here is related to the first red flag about party girls—she allows herself to be tempted. And why would you ever trust a girl who intentionally lowers her self-control?
You are playing with fire and you know it.
Yes, crimes like theft will always be wrong, but we all have a responsibility to lock our doors.
#5 She’s a man hater. / She tests you to see if you’re man enough.What it means: She lacks healthy relationships with the men in her life.
- “All men are blah blah blah…”
- “Guys only care about blah blah blah…”
- “Men don’t deserve blah blah blah blah blah…”
Man haters are the worst. I understand that some of us really are terrible, but if every guy she meets is like that, take a look at the common denominator.
A beautiful attitude is just as important.
Yes, I’m tough on the opposite sex sometimes, but even I know that there are fantastic women out there.
You can’t let the good ones convince you that all girls are sweet and innocent, and you can’t let the bad ones blind you to the praiseworthy women either.
The same is true about our side.
So if a girl always complains about the men in her life, she’s either still bitter about a failed relationship, or she presents herself as an object for men to lust after.
#6 She can’t put her phone down. / She’s addicted to social media.What it means: She craves attention and drama.
The online version of too many male friends.
A smart girl knows that male attention doesn’t result from her “amazing personality”.
The number of friends and likes she gets is directly proportional to how attractive people think she is.
This stuff is honestly common sense by now but you still see the same thing all the time. A fairly attractive girl only has to post a few pictures, and boom, she’s got 50 dudes trying to hit her up.
She probably won’t give any of them the time of day—unless one of them is like, so hot—but at least she got her daily attention fix. Plus she’s found a new group of reliable “friends” to support her.
It’s ridiculous. And don’t even get me started on the drama.
If she’s more interested in her phone than she is in you, don’t try to change her mind.
#7 She’s comfortable in revealing clothes. / She’s insensitive to male touch.What it means: She’s used to it.
Do you really think she dresses that way for you?
Do you honestly believe it’s normal for guys to hug and hold her like it’s no big deal?
She’s used to it, man. And even if she isn’t promiscuous now, it won’t take much effort for her to get that way.
But going back to her style of dress, you might believe her choice of clothes doesn’t matter anymore. You think that times have changed, and this girl is different. So different in fact that she’s above all of human nature.
Yeah, keep believing that.
The reality is that men are visual creatures. And both men and women instinctively know that the way a women dresses determines the type of attention she gets.
Our society doesn’t like to acknowledge that fact nowadays, so we try to ignore it as best as we can.
Instead, we say she has high self esteem, that she deserves to show off her body. And if you don’t like it, you’re living in the past.
But please don’t buy the “I’m-proud-of-my-body-so-I-need-to-be-half-naked” excuse.
People who are comfortable with a fit body, or great wealth, or whatever else they have don’t feel the need to show it off. They rest assured in the knowledge that it’s there.
The only people who show off are the ones who need validation. And they always need it from multiple people.
So if any girl shows too much skin, or if she’s fine with being hugged or touched any kind of way, you need to reconsider.
#8 She believes that things just happen. / She follows her heart. / She’s in love with “love” and relationships.What it means: She lacks emotional control.
These girls are tricky for inexperienced guys, so let me explain.
It feels great at first to be the focus of a girl’s undying love. And the highs of having a beautiful woman enraptured by you is something straight outta the movies.
But guess what?
You will never be the only one.
“It’s a trap!”
You just happen to be her drug of the month. And all it takes is a more attractive or manipulative man to change her loyalties.
That is the dark reality of girls who “follow their heart.”
So instead of chasing a girl who’s crazy (this link is an extremely must-read content, it's about BPD disorder and how it can ruin your relationship and yourself altogether, don't be fucking lazy and read it)….about you, find a girl who tempers her heart with her head.
Don’t be afraid of love. Just make sure it’s the real thing first.
#9 She uses profanity.
What it means: She doesn’t value purity.I don’t like profanity.
Sure, I went through a phase where it was cool to sprinkle in some “sentence enhancers”, but even then it still felt wrong.
Pure speech is something I value now, and it really does bother me to hear people—male or female—casually drop f-bombs. I don’t give them a stare or anything, but I know that profanity usually indicates that something is off in your life.
That’s one reason why I never use profanity on this site. Out of all the posts on HFE, I haven’t used a single curse word, and I plan to keep it that way.
But getting back to the meaning of this red flag, it just shows a lack of class.
If a girl doesn’t have the decency to control something as simple as her conversation, think about how ugly the rest of her lifestyle is.
#10 She’s friends with known promiscuous women. / She takes an interest in promiscuous celebrities.
What it means: She won’t be shamed for sleeping around, and she will probably be encouraged to do so.
Men compartmentalize their friends.
Of course not every guy is the same, but usually he’ll have his videogame pals, his college study group, his boys from work, his basketball squad, his fantasy football crew, and so on.
And what’s funny about all these friend buckets is that they usually include men from all walks of life.
You’ll have a mix of low income guys, wealthy guys, smart guys, dumb guys, you get the point. But as long as they all have that one thing in common, they don’t really care about much else.
Women are different.
Almost every girl I know has friends who are very similar to her. Everything from the way they dress, to the grades they get, to the income they earn, to the guys they like, and even their political stance—it’s almost always the same.
While men care more about the one activity they have in common, women focus more on similar lifestyles.
And now you see where I’m going.
You may not be able to tell if she sleeps around, but if you know her friends do, it’s a giant red flag.
Even if this girl is completely innocent, she knows her friends won’t look down on her if she does indulge, and that’s why she’s surrounded herself with them.
It’s even worse if she takes an interest in promiscuous celebrities. They’re just like her friends who get around but with additional influence and social status.
If [blank] can do [blank] and still be [blank], why can’t she?
#11 She uses New Age lingo. / She’s into horoscopes.
What it means: She won’t take responsibility for her actions.
If you meet a girl who always goes on about people’s “energy”, the workings of karma, or the meaning behind her horoscope, you need to run and run quickly.
I have numerous reasons why I wouldn’t get with a girl like this, but one of the more practical ones is that she won’t take responsibility for anything.
The stars are what drive her behavior, and she will be justified in spiting you because her negative-energy-sense was tingling.
It’s bad enough dealing with people who can’t control their impulses, but if she truly believes that “the universe” is causing her actions, avoid her at all costs.
#12 She has no discernible skills outside of her physical appearance.
What it means: She’s going down the wrong career path.
Everyone needs money. And if that need is not met, people will resort to all kinds of evil to meet it.
If this particular girl doesn’t have any marketable skills outside of being “hot”, she is going down the wrong road.
Eventually she will…
A. Find some way to make money off her appearance
B. Get bailed out by another man, or…
C. Be left in a financial hole when her beauty fades
Now you could argue that A wouldn’t be too bad of a scenario depending on the work involved (e.g. innocent modeling), but none of these are favorable to her developing a solid set of skills when she had the chance.
Not only has she put herself in a position where her beauty can be abused, but she’s also shown that she’s fine with being a drain on people’s resources.
That’s not good.
Everyone needs a strong work ethic, no matter who they are. And if she doesn’t have one, she’ll be pressured into compromising situations.
#13 She rushes the relationship. / She’s a little too perfect. / She tries too hard to seem like a good match.
What it means: She’s overcompensating.
Another tricky one here.
The average guy won’t deal with many girls like this, but the name of this site isn’t Hunger for Average, so you need to look out for this one.
As you start to care more about your appearance and get your life in order, you’ll notice that girls will seemingly come out of nowhere. And the ones you were invisible to before will make it obvious that they’re interested. (This, if you have potential to look better in some way, of course, this does not apply to everyone because some people simply can't be saved)
Sounds great right?
But the problem is that some of these girls won’t have the best intentions.
Almost every semi-attractive girl has been treated like a princess her whole life (and that’s one reason why a man who’s trained himself to be immune to beauty is so attractive to them).
But the side effect of this treatment is that many women expect partiality from every guy they meet. So now when they see you—a man who’s in good shape and has his life together—they don’t see a person, but rather, a tool who has the means to carry “her highness” through life.
The “lock-him-down” look
This is particularly an issue with a girl in her late 20’s or early 30’s. Her internal clock is ticking and she knows she has to find a man before her beauty fades.
But you can’t let her clock dictate your life.
People get burned all the time by making hasty choices. And it’s a known manipulation tactic to rush people into big decisions.
Yes, there will be girls who genuinely like you, and they’ll be eager to start something special together. But you need to be aware of the other scenario too.
Beauty doesn’t get ignored. And if an attractive girl hasn’t locked down a man by this time in her life, it’s very possible that she used her beauty for other means when she was younger, and now she’s scrambling to find a man who doesn’t know any better.
Of course this isn’t always the case. Breakups happen and some people just have an unfortunate streak with relationships. But barring any significant change to her appearance, and without any other special cause, the former is a real possibility.
Remember that your interests are important too. And you are not obligated to take any dude’s leftovers simply because she needs a man now.
“But she’s changed! She’s not like that anymore! And she’s committed to doing better!”
That’s great. And I applaud her. But that doesn’t mean you owe her a relationship. (This makes women seethe when someone says they don't owe them anything or they are not entitled to something)
I’m all for acceptance and forgiveness, but I also know that forgiveness isn’t the removal of all consequences.
#14 She accuses you of being promiscuous, or worse, tries to prove you are.
What it means: She’s telling you how she would act if she was in your position (a.k.a. projection).
A girl who makes accusations (this link is another must-read content that everyone should read to battle false accusations against you) like this doesn’t understand how any decent looking person could say no to their suitors. Especially since she could never hope to do the same.
You’re just a stupid boy who couldn’t possibly deny easy pleasure, and it’s her job to prove that assumption right.
It’s all so silly.
I’ve dealt with girls who tried to find faults that weren’t there and I had a real good laugh afterwards.
But while it is funny that a former acne-faced, overweight, emo guy would have to convince anyone he’s not about that life, I am very serious about guarding my integrity.
So if any girl accuses me of something like this, I know we need to part ways.
#15 Your gut tells you so.
What it means: You’re not comfortable with her.
Attraction is weird.
The first time anyone sees a person they like, comfort is nowhere to be found. There’s excitement, there’s anxiety, and there’s interest—not comfort.
But that all changes as time goes by.
The more you get to know someone, the more comfortable you feel around them.
The guy you thought was an antisocial creep just happens to be the life of the party. The girl you thought was such a snob before is actually kind and warm-hearted. And this new familiarity generally leads to more comfort.
But if time passes and you still don’t feel comfortable around this girl, it’s a bad sign. Your body is subconsciously telling you that something about her is off. And you know deep down that you can’t trust her.
“But didn’t you just make fun of girls and their ‘negative-energy-sense’? So how is it okay for guys to do the same thing?”
Because what I’m talking about here isn’t just a feeling. What I’m describing are physiological changes that happen solely because of this person.
Yes, it sounds far-fetched, but if you are fine around every person except her, something is wrong. And I’m not talking about a few butterflies in the stomach here.
If you start breaking a sweat when she shows up, if your sleep schedule suddenly changes, and if you’re always on your toes around her, your body is in alert mode. And instead of being able to work, or perfect your craft, or do anything else, you will constantly be thinking about her.
But again, don’t confuse this with some middle school crush obsession. This is about a girl who won’t give you any assurance that she is committed to you.
You will have to do everything to keep the relationship afloat, and that always leads to disaster. The minute you fall short in her eyes your worst fear will come true.
This gets old real fast.
Of course you still want to be as attractive as possible to make her decision easy, but if the success of the relationship depends solely on you, find someone else.
Good leaders set an example for others and create a vision for the future…
They don’t do all the work.
Successful relationships will always take effort, but if you can’t relax at all with her, it’s a bad sign.
Weed ‘Em Out So if you read this whole post, you’ve probably noticed a theme here.
All of these are signs that stem from a lack of one character trait:
This list is all about discerning if a girl has that one critical trait.
If she doesn’t have it, don’t try to change her, don’t make excuses for her, and please don’t waste time thinking about her. Just walk away.
And if you have a hard time doing that, ask yourself if you would help a man who acted the same way.
Sure, this may all seem cold-blooded, but when the stakes are this high, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. There is simply too much at risk when you choose a long term partner. And if you can’t trust someone you’ll eventually think about marrying, you need to end it as soon as possible.
No amount of beauty is worth the headache and embarrassment. If a woman’s actions show that she doesn’t respect you, move on and find a girl who does.
Just remember that nothing here is foolproof either. Some girls are crafty and they won’t show many of the signs listed here—but that’s okay.
The point isn’t to catch every girl who’s like this. The point is to save time by weeding out the easy ones. And once you do that, you’ll be closer to finding a girl who’s worth the investment.
So be smart, stay strong, and have a little fun too. It’s easy to get too serious about things like this, but keep a good attitude and you’ll be fine.
If you know what all to avoid, just imagine how much you can cherish a keeper.
All the sources with more information for those interested and there are meaningless links removed from the post. The source has all the links that I removed and might be good for the religious people + the ones that are very into self-improvement somehow in some way on the forum or would like to see different perspectives on this subject of improvement. (I am not religious nor into "self-improvement", nor do I believe all of it can work or does work at all for most people)
The ability to screen out promiscuous women is one of the most valuable skills any man can have.
That's it for today, folks.