How to get over the trauma of lost years / stop grieving?

[Gyros_Pretcel]

TL;DR in bold

It's hard for me to pick up where I left 7 years ago.

I wasted so much money and resources through ldar directly and indirectly. Easily 10000€, without considering ruined career prospects and not having turned my simulated portfolio into a real one. I ruined "friendships", my almost finished subject-linked eligibility of university admission expired. I lost opportunities in so many ways.

The grieving process is so hard for me. That I am autistic doesn't help here either. I have to consider solutions, that may not be ideal and make me go reeee.

I know I am not strong enough to solve everything and to go through / keep it up without further help. I think another breakdown will break my neck mentally and time wise.

I also lost any trust into other people. There is a chance that I will ruin more relationship prospects or even go ER. Any prolonged social interaction becomes quickly tiring to me to the point of having to regenerate at least half a year, not even talking about the practical barriers. Anyone remember the pill, that there are simply no women statistically, that would fit together with us? It's the same for every other relationship. The world is to small for non normies to make mistakes. There are naturally some things, you need to interact with other people for.

My conservator doesn't care at all. I will have to keep working on my problems anyway, but I fear in the end, even if I manage to get my life in order and should I ever get to the point of a lawsuit, the court will just say: "See Gyros managed it without his conservator's help." But at what price? I needed 7 years to get to where i am now and I am still not more mentally capable than before when I got into this situation (quite the opposite actually), just a bit wiser aka blackpilled and maybe a bit more confident thanks to the interchange here.

Also things feel futile, I feel like I am entering the next stage of my life while having put the previous one on hold long ago without completing it. My own life feels alien to me.

I have much more problems, but I am talking here more about the specific emotional side of things. It's not fear, more like sadness that stops me idk.

Any ideas how to cope with this and move on?

 

[BrendioEEE]

Honestly i'm not sure, I feel like I have lost several years of my life through job hunting and being jobless aswell. 7 to be exact. Now that i'm jobless again a lot of my hope is fucked. I am 23 years old and I am approaching 25 relatively soon, 2 years away, I know you're probably older than me but I hope no youngcels have to feel the dread of lost years either, shit is brutal.

 

[Bane of Arthropods]

Any ideas how to cope with this?

videogames. the real world clearly doesn't want us so i escape into digital worlds where i am a chad who slays monsters and demons.

Honestly i'm not sure, I feel like I have lost several years of my life through job hunting and being jobless aswell. 7 to be exact. Now that i'm jobless again a lot of my hope is fucked. I am 23 years old and I am approaching 25 relatively soon, 2 years away, I know you're probably older than me but I hope no youngcels have to feel the dread of lost years either, shit is brutal.

just be in another interview theory

 

[muharremabi]

I have no fucking idea. It's over for me.

 

[Barnacle]

I think of people who are in prison for many years or those who have had horrible fates, such as being burned and than disfigured.

 

[Deleted member 17889]

copemaxx aka do what death row prisoners do before being murdered

watch tv, play games, speaking to others is not a viable option for obvious reasons

 

[happiless]

Honestly i'm not sure, I feel like I have lost several years of my life through job hunting and being jobless aswell. 7 to be exact. Now that i'm jobless again a lot of my hope is fucked. I am 23 years old and I am approaching 25 relatively soon, 2 years away, I know you're probably older than me but I hope no youngcels have to feel the dread of lost years either, shit is brutal.

You were a 16 year old job hunter?

 

[Hate_my_life]

I have no fucking idea. It's over for me.

 

[Gyros_Pretcel]

videogames. the real world clearly doesn't want us so i escape into digital worlds where i am a chad who slays monsters and demons.

copemaxx aka do what death row prisoners do before being murdered

watch tv, play games, speaking to others is not a viable option for obvious reasons

The problem is I am to ill to ldar and long term also to poor. It's dumb, but you need to be pretty much NT to get any help here.

 

[Bane of Arthropods]

The problem is I am to ill to ldar and long term also to poor.

What illness do you have if you don't mind me asking?

Also you don't have to vidya and ldar long term. Just download steam and get battlefront 2 it's like 10 bucks and really fun

 

[Gyros_Pretcel]

What illness do you have if you don't mind me asking?

Also you don't have to vidya and ldar long term. Just download steam and get battlefront 2 it's like 10 bucks and really fun

Some type of cornea fogging (40% visus with glasses), dry mucosa, dust mite allergy, eczema, some breathway obstruction, diarrhea, spinal disc herniation, skoliosis, sleeping problems.

 

[Emba]

I too was a bridge burner! Now I'm old i regret the hell out of it!

Basically, the only thing anyone can do, is the best they can with what that have.

The sad truth is, no one human can totally survive on his own. It requires a group! So no matter what you simply have to build social capital as fast as you can. Any group is better than no group.

The older you get the harder it is to build trust. (And social capital) And thanks to today's jewed up world, it's almost impossible! Yet, it must be done.

Just do the best you can bro!
The trick is... To be useful in some way.

 

[Deleted member 20659]

I lost so much time with absolutely nothing it fills me with anxiety just to think about it

 

[Bane of Arthropods]

Some type of cornea fogging (40% visus with glasses), dry mucosa, dust mite allergy, eczema, some breathway obstruction, diarrhea, spinal disc herniation, skoliosis, sleeping problems.

it's extremely over. i'm very sorry for you brother not sure what kind of advice to give ngl

 

[BrendioEEE]

You were a 16 year old job hunter?

Yes

 

[Gyros_Pretcel]

yeah well you are in a classical negative feedback loop
a doom loop
a branch in the waves
a spectator in life
a drop in the eternal waterfall
especially now considering the years those waves hit you
it makes it harder and harder to finally move to the opposite direction
but the longer you wait ,the harder it will be
will you ever make the move ?

i'm curious how this book of gyros will play out honestly, keep me updated
maybe this long chapter will finally end and the dawn of a new era (2020+) will start?



the healing hurts more than the wound

 

[Sparrow's Song]

Suicide and revenge are the only way to heal the wounds of lost years.

 

[FukFeminism]

Suicide and revenge are the only way to heal the woulds of lost years.

Tbh

 

[Honeypot]

TL;DR in bold

It's hard for me to pick up where I left 7 years ago.

I wasted so much money and resources through ldar directly and indirectly. Easily 10000€, without considering ruined career prospects and not having turned my simulated portfolio into a real one. I ruined "friendships", my almost finished subject-linked eligibility of university admission expired. I lost opportunities in so many ways.

The grieving process is so hard for me. That I am autistic doesn't help here either. I have to consider solutions, that may not be ideal and make me go reeee.

I know I am not strong enough to solve everything and to go through / keep it up without further help. I think another breakdown will break my neck mentally and time wise.

I also lost any trust into other people. There is a chance that I will ruin more relationship prospects or even go ER. Any prolonged social interaction becomes quickly tiring to me to the point of having to regenerate at least half a year, not even talking about the practical barriers. Anyone remember the pill, that there are simply no women statistically, that would fit together with us? It's the same for every other relationship. The world is to small for non normies to make mistakes. There are naturally some things, you need to interact with other people for.

My conservator doesn't care at all. I will have to keep working on my problems anyway, but I fear in the end, even if I manage to get my life in order and should I ever get to the point of a lawsuit, the court will just say: "See Gyros managed it without his conservator's help." But at what price? I needed 7 years to get to where i am now and I am still not more mentally capable than before when I got into this situation (quite the opposite actually), just a bit wiser aka blackpilled and maybe a bit more confident thanks to the interchange here.

Also things feel futile, I feel like I am entering the next stage of my life while having put the previous one on hold long ago without completing it. My own life feels alien to me.

I have much more problems, but I am talking here more about the specific emotional side of things. It's not fear, more like sadness that stops me idk.

Any ideas how to cope with this and move on?

Watch anime openings full version and auto reproduce while chosing once in a while

 

[Frenchnibba]

Meditation is a good way to stay sane while in solidarity. I’m just wondering if staying sane is actually a curse since we remain conscious of our despicable situation.

 

[Irredeemable]

A thick, long and strong rope costs around 30 euros.

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

I have no fucking idea. It's over for me.

 

[Fat Link]

Well whatever you do don't go ER.

I view people like us as the good guys who are victims of our sick society and to become victimizers just makes all those scumbag NPC's out there feel vindicated in their hatred/persecution of us when they should be feeling guilt and shame for the way they've treated us and excluded us.

Like most on this board I'd wager you are probably young or at least young enough to start over.

If you need a person to compare your life to in order to start over and know that its possible you can check out AfterPrisonShow on youtube and watch some of the old "Danny" episodes that Joe (the runner of AfterPrisonShow) may still have up on his channel.

Anyway Danny spent 40 years in prison and is now out and despite getting up there in years he's started over quite nicely and now has a nice place to live and is I believe presently building new connections and making new friends as well finding various new jobs to do so if I am right unlike Danny you at least have greater youth on your side to move forward with and you can know that its possible to move forward because Danny did so even at his advancing age and after 40 years of horrible treatment (mostly by the guards) in prison.

 

[Mogged Loner]

A thick, long and strong rope costs around 30 euros.

Good investment

 

[Deleted member 16608]

It seems you have made progress but you are being too hard on yourself at the same time. Give yourself some credit for what you've done. I'm in a similar situation and its taken me five years to get out of a pretty deep hole I made for myself. Things do get better, even if you only make an inch of effort day by day.

In terms of ER, I hope that's just hyperbole. I think an incel low inhib maxxing and being outwardly blackpilled in public is more effective than shooting up a bunch of people. Better to change minds than to take them.

There's no "getting over" trauma, only coping. You seem very self-aware, so when those self sabotaging thoughts come up, just know it comes from a place of fear and you have proven to yourself in the past to overcome things. Trauma inflicts permanent brain damage and your only choice is to adapt. That's the bleak reality of it.