A lot. It's not as if I'm dwelling on it because I actually want to, but it just too frequently hinders me in things, so I can't help but be frustrated by it.
I used to think I was somewhat smart, but when I actually took a proper IQ-test, I got something around ~85 IQ (they wouldn't even give me my exact score, so it could be below that). It was shocking to see at first, but in hindsight, it really did make sense. It explained why I struggled with comprehending a lot of things, even that which should be basic, and why I was such a slow-learner.
To this day, my reading comprehension skills are abysmal. I recently decided to start reading basic literature, and I often find myself having to reread a page three to four times over just to finally be able to move on to the next. It's not as if I'm illiterate (obviously), but what people don't understand is that in my IQ-range, it's really difficult to actually connect events together to, for a lack of better wording, 'forge a picture.' I simply read sentences as they are, and not as a grander portion of a piece of text.
I would have started reading literature earlier, but I had withheld myself from it for some time because I tried to read Oliver Twist, and was nearly brought to humiliated tears all due to the fact that I could barely understand a single page.
These days, it doesn't affect me as much. I will never "accept" it and leave myself bereft of envy for others or the hatred stemming from me being forced to endure this curse—that's common blue-pill drivel. But what is it that I'm supposed to do? It's something static and endemic to me, just like my height. Just another negative trait that Fate decided to stick onto me as She toys with my life in Her disgusting little play. I just have to work with it, even as much as I hate the thought as well as the accursed trait itself.
