I remember in gradeschool, I would Always go to bed at the same time and wake up around the same time.
I would be in my comfy bed at 8pm, read my favourite books, Sleep and wake up 8h later around 4-5am in the morning.
Then I would get up and make myself a comfy Cup of tea and just sit in the kitchen, Eating toast, drinking tea, reading and being happy.
Make no mistake, I was still an outcast and looser and got bullied in School but this was the best part of my day. Sitting in the dim kitchen, drinking tea.
No Radio, no noise...
At some Point my mom started working again. Like my brother, she Needs to unfold like a nuke to feel validated.
I remember the day, I was sitting there, perfect equilibirum, sipping my tea and reading when suddenlly….
BAM, BAM BAM BAM
my mom rushing up the stairs, naked, into the kitchen. I was shocked.
RADIO: ON
COFFEE MACHINE: ON
LIGHTS: ON
She rotates between the bathroom, kitchen and Living room and gradually gets dressed, like a fucking SIMS character.
For example, she runs around with no pants, a Shirt on, Holding a coffee Cup in one Hand while still having her toothbrush in her mouth.
It's the anti-Thesis to everything I am.
And so I went in my room, sat at my desk and cried.
In my Memory, this marks the beginning of the end for my Health.
As I progressed into puberty and High School, I needed stronger and stronger Copes to handle the barage of shit that I was exposed to everyday.
I would stay up till midnight or longer, I wouldnt Sleep anymore.
5 Hours a night was top notch, 3 was Standard.
I couldn't drink tea anymore, I couldnt relax in the morning, I couldnt relax at School,...
I could only semi-relax by Coping in the evening, from around 7pm to midnight. I would Play Video games like a madman,
headphones on max to drown everything out.
It has been like this ever since.
I tried Fixing myself but it is too late. Damage that happens during developmental stages like puberty is permanent.
I am permanentely fucked, mentally and physically.
Highschool fucking took my life. It destroyed that Little Boy that just coped by being nice and reading his stupid books.
I still have not recovered from that time period.
Graduated in 2014.
Still struggling with the aftermath.
Did HS have a similar effect on anyone else?
I would be in my comfy bed at 8pm, read my favourite books, Sleep and wake up 8h later around 4-5am in the morning.
Then I would get up and make myself a comfy Cup of tea and just sit in the kitchen, Eating toast, drinking tea, reading and being happy.
Make no mistake, I was still an outcast and looser and got bullied in School but this was the best part of my day. Sitting in the dim kitchen, drinking tea.
No Radio, no noise...
At some Point my mom started working again. Like my brother, she Needs to unfold like a nuke to feel validated.
I remember the day, I was sitting there, perfect equilibirum, sipping my tea and reading when suddenlly….
BAM, BAM BAM BAM
my mom rushing up the stairs, naked, into the kitchen. I was shocked.
RADIO: ON
COFFEE MACHINE: ON
LIGHTS: ON
She rotates between the bathroom, kitchen and Living room and gradually gets dressed, like a fucking SIMS character.
For example, she runs around with no pants, a Shirt on, Holding a coffee Cup in one Hand while still having her toothbrush in her mouth.
It's the anti-Thesis to everything I am.
And so I went in my room, sat at my desk and cried.
In my Memory, this marks the beginning of the end for my Health.
As I progressed into puberty and High School, I needed stronger and stronger Copes to handle the barage of shit that I was exposed to everyday.
I would stay up till midnight or longer, I wouldnt Sleep anymore.
5 Hours a night was top notch, 3 was Standard.
I couldn't drink tea anymore, I couldnt relax in the morning, I couldnt relax at School,...
I could only semi-relax by Coping in the evening, from around 7pm to midnight. I would Play Video games like a madman,
headphones on max to drown everything out.
It has been like this ever since.
I tried Fixing myself but it is too late. Damage that happens during developmental stages like puberty is permanent.
I am permanentely fucked, mentally and physically.
Highschool fucking took my life. It destroyed that Little Boy that just coped by being nice and reading his stupid books.
I still have not recovered from that time period.
Graduated in 2014.
Still struggling with the aftermath.
Did HS have a similar effect on anyone else?
