it is so unattainable for me that I can't even imagine it. maintaining a long term relationship as an unattractive man is already a struggle, but since I'm autistic + KHHV with no relationship experience there is just no way for me to compete
I don't even know what couples do together honestly, let alone how to entertain a girl and socialize with her every day, indefinitely. there's so many elements to social skills and relationships that people gradually learn through decades of constant social interaction and experience, of which I have almost none. I will never be able to fully understand or relate to people who have a solid grasp on interpersonal skills/social norms, let alone have a successful relationship with one of them
very few people understand what it's like to know it's truly and utterly over, to know for a fact that the idea of you having a relationship is simply beyond the realm of possibility and will not happen in your lifetime