From the very early age I already knew my life will never be 'normal'. I knew that I will always be an outcast, I always knew I was not good looking but not until I turned 22 years old and read ER manifesto did I begin to realize just HOW much my looks are impacting my life, I was still a redpill coping retard believing I can just personalitymaxx to get affection. But it isn't even affection I was missing, my entire life was just fucked from the very beginning.
In school I was bullied and forced to play with special education retards because nobody else would associate themselves with me, I was picked last in football and picked on as easy target, I could never find my place anywhere, In university I even joined 'losers' clubs like anime clubs and stuff, and I couldn't fit in with people there either, when I went the other way and hanged out with chadlite fuckboys I was an outcast and a joke there too. One of the chadlite even showed me a group chat of other chadlites that made fun of me for no reason and asked the chadlite I was hanging out with why is he hanging out with me and that I got no future (brutal asf)... By that point, those remarks didn't even phase me anymore because I already got dragged through mud multiple times in life.
I never got to know what it is to experience teenage love, when I tried to talk to women later I just come off as a retard due to 0 life experience, how am I supposed to get life experience when I look like this? Catch 22 type of situation. If this wasn't brutal enough I started balding at like 18 years of age, by the time I was 22 I just gave up on life and started to rot, can you really blame me... I am 29 now.
I sometimes watch family blogs of random people on youtube, they are going out to restaurants, blogging their daily lives, this shit seems so surreal to me, my brain doesn't register how do you supposed to hold every day conversations with people, go out to launch together, you know relationships 101 kind of stuff. I never experienced any of this and now I am old. I don't think I am capable of having a relationship anymore even if I wanted to, I am just too damaged mentally at this point.
Ultimately none of this will matter in the end when death comes and takes me, and I have given up on the idea of having a normal life since that train already left long ago, but I still want to experience casual sex at least so that I can contain my biological urges and focus on my astralmaxxing.
All of this because I rolled a bad dice roll when spawning in this world, how very cruel to have so much of my life defined and shapes beyond my control. What a scam fucking hellish world is this to have so much of your life decided by a dice roll.
Hopefully my SEAmaxx will work out at least or ama call it a day fuck this world.
View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fBs4gk3HJaI
It's over
In school I was bullied and forced to play with special education retards because nobody else would associate themselves with me, I was picked last in football and picked on as easy target, I could never find my place anywhere, In university I even joined 'losers' clubs like anime clubs and stuff, and I couldn't fit in with people there either, when I went the other way and hanged out with chadlite fuckboys I was an outcast and a joke there too. One of the chadlite even showed me a group chat of other chadlites that made fun of me for no reason and asked the chadlite I was hanging out with why is he hanging out with me and that I got no future (brutal asf)... By that point, those remarks didn't even phase me anymore because I already got dragged through mud multiple times in life.
I never got to know what it is to experience teenage love, when I tried to talk to women later I just come off as a retard due to 0 life experience, how am I supposed to get life experience when I look like this? Catch 22 type of situation. If this wasn't brutal enough I started balding at like 18 years of age, by the time I was 22 I just gave up on life and started to rot, can you really blame me... I am 29 now.
I sometimes watch family blogs of random people on youtube, they are going out to restaurants, blogging their daily lives, this shit seems so surreal to me, my brain doesn't register how do you supposed to hold every day conversations with people, go out to launch together, you know relationships 101 kind of stuff. I never experienced any of this and now I am old. I don't think I am capable of having a relationship anymore even if I wanted to, I am just too damaged mentally at this point.
Ultimately none of this will matter in the end when death comes and takes me, and I have given up on the idea of having a normal life since that train already left long ago, but I still want to experience casual sex at least so that I can contain my biological urges and focus on my astralmaxxing.
All of this because I rolled a bad dice roll when spawning in this world, how very cruel to have so much of my life defined and shapes beyond my control. What a scam fucking hellish world is this to have so much of your life decided by a dice roll.
Hopefully my SEAmaxx will work out at least or ama call it a day fuck this world.
View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fBs4gk3HJaI
It's over
