I don't always feel like doing It so how can I force my brain to want to actively kill itself. Only certain times when I'm very angry and get blackpilled hard in real life like when I am hit with the realisation that im an ugly autist poor piece of shit that will never be shit, are the only times when I feel the real urge to die. Other times I always feel like I want to die but am indifferent to actually doing it.
I would prefer to die soon logically rather than live this life for unknown more years. But I always have delusions of hope that somehow I'll win the lotter or my dad will strike gold in some business or I'll sell drugs and make tons of money. But in reality I've been a loser broke for my whole life.
I would prefer to die soon logically rather than live this life for unknown more years. But I always have delusions of hope that somehow I'll win the lotter or my dad will strike gold in some business or I'll sell drugs and make tons of money. But in reality I've been a loser broke for my whole life.
